After two months, I think I want to leave him

[ZageJ86]

I don't think I want to be with him anymore. We've been dating for two months now and being with him can be a bit aggravating. I feel he nitpicks and argues and I am just more calm and relaxed. He reminds me of the old me.

 

I feel like I can't state my opinion because he'll nitpick/argue with me. He's an activist and I'm not.

 

He helps me financially and is there emotionally if I need him and he takes care of me sexually but lately none of that has much affect other than the sex.

 

I'm thinking of ending it. This is my second real relationship in 11 years. I finally opened myself up and I'm just not sure this is what I want. He wants to settle down with me and everything.

 

A little more info he is in recovery for alcohol and drugs. He's a year and 4 months clean, he's separated from his wife but still legally married and still relies on her as he becomes established.

 

He's 45 and I'm 31. I have one 13 year old. He has two children 19 and 10 but they don't live with him.

 

I guess I feel like in my situation maybe he's the best I can do. He does have great qualities but he's annoying at times.

 

I don't want to see him with anyone else but I don't know if I want to be with him.

 

Also i want the sex from him, he makes me feel really good.

 

What do I do?

[Adiron]

Stay with him until the sex gets boring.

[hippychick3]

Get out now. You are still young and have so much more ahead of you. Please don't waste any more of your time investing in this relationship.

 

He is not the one.

[ExpatInItaly]

There are so many red flags here I don't know where to begin. I would break it off now, as this is unlikely to work out well for you.

[warp123]

He helps me financially

 

wow, you are a keeper

 

What do I do?

 

stop wasting his money and his time, think about how can you stop being a parasite for men

[stillafool]

OP, become financially independent and leave. You can find someone else to take care of your sexual needs. When we rely on other people to help us financially those people feel that they can give you unwanted advice and tell you what to do. You two do not sound compatible and it's best to break it off now after only 2 months rather than to let it go on.

[BaileyB]

There are so many red flags here, this is not going to end well.

 

Two months in, and you are financially dependent on him. Not good.

 

Let him go. And, don't worry about who he is with - it is none of your business. Focus on yourself and your children.

[Casio167]

I find it really strange that you are financially benefitting from him, especially after only two months? I’ve been in long term relationships before where I never sought financial help from my partner. I dont think that’s a good way of conducting yourself in a relationship. But other than that from his side nitpicking and arguing so early on is also not healthy and I think it’s best if you nip this in the bud and call it a day.

I would call into question why you are allowing him to help you financially though, especially so early on in a relationship. It comes across like you are happy to use him.

[ZageJ86]

I find it really strange that you are financially benefitting from him, especially after only two months? I’ve been in long term relationships before where I never sought financial help from my partner. I dont think that’s a good way of conducting yourself in a relationship. But other than that from his side nitpicking and arguing so early on is also not healthy and I think it’s best if you nip this in the bud and call it a day.

I would call into question why you are allowing him to help you financially though, especially so early on in a relationship. It comes across like you are happy to use him.

 

I guess I should be more clear. I don't ask for money. He insists on giving me 20 or 40 here and there and buying me groceries once in awhile.

 

I have income. I support myself he just likes to give me things

[ZageJ86]

There are so many red flags here, this is not going to end well.

 

Two months in, and you are financially dependent on him. Not good.

 

Let him go. And, don't worry about who he is with - it is none of your business. Focus on yourself and your children.

 

Yes but I'm not financially dependent on him. He likes to give me 20 or 40 or pay for groceries. I never ask him for help, he offers. I have income.

[stillafool]

You say he is there for you financially, emotionally and sexually. What do you do for him?

[ZageJ86]

OP, become financially independent and leave. You can find someone else to take care of your sexual needs. When we rely on other people to help us financially those people feel that they can give you unwanted advice and tell you what to do. You two do not sound compatible and it's best to break it off now after only 2 months rather than to let it go on.

 

Sorry I should have been clearer, I don't rely on him financially, he gives me pocket change or helps with grocery. I never ask him for help but he insists. I have income.

 

The more time I spend with him, the more I see that we are not compatible. I haven't dated in 11 years and I really just wanted to date and just get my feet wet, I didn't want to dive into a serious relationship.

 

I'm going to meet my bf today and we will talk.

[stillafool]

Yes, maybe you need a man closer to your age. I agree that you don't seem compatible.

[ZageJ86]

You say he is there for you financially, emotionally and sexually. What do you do for him?

 

I do everything he does for me. I'm respectful and accept him how he is meanwhile he nitpicks and it just aggravates me so much.

 

I feel like he's trying to get his life back on track and he has a lot to learn. I try to give him an opinion on how to make his situation better and he sees it as negativity. I just don't think I can hang in there much longer.

 

I need to think about breaking it off. He says that we need each other but I feel that he might need me more than I need him.

[ZageJ86]

Yes, maybe you need a man closer to your age. I agree that you don't seem compatible.

 

Now I don't know if I want to date again once our relationship ends.

[snowboy91]

Yes but I'm not financially dependent on him. He likes to give me 20 or 40 or pay for groceries. I never ask him for help, he offers. I have income.

 

There's your point there. You're able to look after yourself, and you're annoyed at him after 2 months. It's likely you'll still be annoyed with him after 4,6, or more months. That's no way to live for the sake of a relationship, so time to move on.

[bathtub-row]

You know what you need to do. It’s pretty much a no-brainer. If this is the side he shows you in only 2 mos, then it’ll only worsen. And being together for that amount of time is way too soon to talk about being together permanently. Please do not make the mistake of staying with this guy.

[coolheadal]

I don't think I want to be with him anymore. We've been dating for two months now and being with him can be a bit aggravating. I feel he nitpicks and argues and I am just more calm and relaxed. He reminds me of the old me.

 

I feel like I can't state my opinion because he'll nitpick/argue with me. He's an activist and I'm not.

 

He helps me financially and is there emotionally if I need him and he takes care of me sexually but lately none of that has much affect other than the sex.

 

I'm thinking of ending it. This is my second real relationship in 11 years. I finally opened myself up and I'm just not sure this is what I want. He wants to settle down with me and everything.

 

A little more info he is in recovery for alcohol and drugs. He's a year and 4 months clean, he's separated from his wife but still legally married and still relies on her as he becomes established.

 

He's 45 and I'm 31. I have one 13 year old. He has two children 19 and 10 but they don't live with him.

 

I guess I feel like in my situation maybe he's the best I can do. He does have great qualities but he's annoying at times.

 

I don't want to see him with anyone else but I don't know if I want to be with him.

 

Also i want the sex from him, he makes me feel really good.

 

What do I do?

 

He has some issues there my dear, but you already settle for them. You both have kids so you both already know how to live and be great parents for them. Sex is good you say but don't let the sex cloud your mind. Nick picking and arguments can lead to other areas where you might not be able to cope with this so call relationship. No conflict of interest, you got to be 100% happy with him sounds like your 50% okay with sex but 50% not okay with the arguments and other comments and nick picking.. This you really have to decide if he's worth it but again don't let the sex rule your mind! Then you settle and then your upset and then you want out, might be too late for that!