Inspiration: How to compliment female's look?

[Pandoramix]

Hallo,

 

I am just searching for inspiration. I am surrounded by quite pretty/beautiful and charming women/dancers, and I would like to express I like how they look . But I am terrible donkey, I crawled out of jungle and have no idea how to talk to woman . And I am 30 y.o.!!

 

what would you say if girl sends you pic of her where she looks very pretty? You Offered her to take her out for a dance, she agreed and now you want to make her feel good by expressing how proud you feel for the...privilege she is presenting you by making you company.

 

In other words, how to be gentleman??

[MaleIntuition]

“You look good!” Or maybe “Wow, you look good”. I think good looking women know they are good looking. Compliment her on something else instead and stand out from the crowd. But I’m no gentleman.

[fredflint]

Hallo,

 

I am just searching for inspiration. I am surrounded by quite pretty/beautiful and charming women/dancers, and I would like to express I like how they look . But I am terrible donkey, I crawled out of jungle and have no idea how to talk to woman . And I am 30 y.o.!!

 

what would you say if girl sends you pic of her where she looks very pretty? You Offered her to take her out for a dance, she agreed and now you want to make her feel good by expressing how proud you feel for the...privilege she is presenting you by making you company.

 

In other words, how to be gentleman??

 

As a general rule don't comment on women's looks AT ALL. Not even as an introductory message on a dating site. It's a losers strategy. It's not gentlemanly. It often causes her to feel discomfort, or roll her eyes (another shallow guy), esp if she doesn't know you or it's a work situation. It doesn't make you stand out to her. It's mediocre/beta AT BEST.

 

If she sends you a picture of herself, that's different. THEN she's inviting a comment on her appearance, and you'd still better be careful lol.

Edited June 20, 2018 by fredflint

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Hallo,

 

I am just searching for inspiration. I am surrounded by quite pretty/beautiful and charming women/dancers, and I would like to express I like how they look . But I am terrible donkey, I crawled out of jungle and have no idea how to talk to woman . And I am 30 y.o.!!

 

what would you say if girl sends you pic of her where she looks very pretty? You Offered her to take her out for a dance, she agreed and now you want to make her feel good by expressing how proud you feel for the...privilege she is presenting you by making you company.

 

In other words, how to be gentleman??

 

Compliment what she did in order to make herself look that way,

Her choice of shoes, dress, makeup, or how she did her hair that day,

Good looking women like it when it's noticed HOW they acquired their look,

Be pleasant and show you've noticed, you'll score higher in their book.

[carhill]

 

what would you say if girl sends you pic of her where she looks very pretty?

 

Don't get many pictures but recently a MW texted me a snapchat of herself in her car after a visit to the colorist and my response was 'wow, model!'. Apparently that went over pretty well. Also, since my exW worked for decades in the image industry I became very adept at noticing all the changes women make to their appearance and even simple noticing of the details has gone over quite well in lubricating social interaction. ExW's clients taught me a lot about that.

 

Up to you on how you approach things. I'm not interested in dating women rather at my age just appreciating them so I do pretty much whatever I want and the response is what it is.

 

I remember one time a few months back at my new place answering the door and this vision was standing there collecting bottles and cans. About all I could say was 'xxxx (famous actress) has showed up at my door'. The bottle/can collector appeared to appreciate that from her body language and comments. We had some small talk while I was collecting up bottles/cans for her and I asked her what the heck she was doing out in the forest collecting them and she told me where she lived and I explained I was new to the area and in parting she said 'maybe I'll see you around sometime'. Hubba hubba

 

Anyway, make it fun and leave the strategies and expectations at the door and life will happen.

[Pandoramix]

As a general rule don't comment on women's looks AT ALL. Not even as an introductory message on a dating site. It's a losers strategy. It's not gentlemanly. It often causes her to feel discomfort, or roll her eyes (another shallow guy), esp if she doesn't know you or it's a work situation. It doesn't make you stand out to her. It's mediocre/beta AT BEST.

 

If she sends you a picture of herself, that's different. THEN she's inviting a comment on her appearance, and you'd still better be careful lol.

 

Heyman,

 

thank you for reply but I need to clarify one thing here: I am not on dating site! I have been chatting with a couple of female dancers who are searching for a dancing partner and trust me, good dancing partners are by any mean not saturated commodity!!!

 

As a matter of fact, this one told me her last partner was nasty at her, critical and annoying, so I am trying to be the opposite - nice and uplifting.

 

 

So no, I am not in a position "please please please, take me! Pretty please!"

 

Second, the reason women search for male dancers is that they are gentlemen! But I am not! So I am searching for advice!

[Pandoramix]

Compliment what she did in order to make herself look that way,

Her choice of shoes, dress, makeup, or how she did her hair that day,

Good looking women like it when it's noticed HOW they acquired their look,

Be pleasant and show you've noticed, you'll score higher in their book.

 

 

excellent hint, thank you!

[Pandoramix]

Don't get many pictures but recently a MW texted me a snapchat of herself in her car after a visit to the colorist and my response was 'wow, model!'. Apparently that went over pretty well. Also, since my exW worked for decades in the image industry I became very adept at noticing all the changes women make to their appearance and even simple noticing of the details has gone over quite well in lubricating social interaction. ExW's clients taught me a lot about that.

 

Up to you on how you approach things. I'm not interested in dating women rather at my age just appreciating them so I do pretty much whatever I want and the response is what it is.

 

I remember one time a few months back at my new place answering the door and this vision was standing there collecting bottles and cans. About all I could say was 'xxxx (famous actress) has showed up at my door'. The bottle/can collector appeared to appreciate that from her body language and comments. We had some small talk while I was collecting up bottles/cans for her and I asked her what the heck she was doing out in the forest collecting them and she told me where she lived and I explained I was new to the area and in parting she said 'maybe I'll see you around sometime'. Hubba hubba

 

Anyway, make it fun and leave the strategies and expectations at the door and life will happen.

 

Excellent advice man! I like it very much!! Thank you!!

 

 

Yeah, I knew it will be a good idea to ask around here!

[fredflint]

Heyman,

 

thank you for reply but I need to clarify one thing here: I am not on dating site! I have been chatting with a couple of female dancers who are searching for a dancing partner and trust me, good dancing partners are by any mean not saturated commodity!!!

 

As a matter of fact, this one told me her last partner was nasty at her, critical and annoying, so I am trying to be the opposite - nice and uplifting.

 

 

So no, I am not in a position "please please please, take me! Pretty please!"

 

Second, the reason women search for male dancers is that they are gentlemen! But I am not! So I am searching for advice!

 

I realize you're not on a dating site. Still, you be a gentleman by being respectful and treating her as a human being. By complimenting on her looks before she knows you well you align yourself with the category of men that treats women as sex objects. That doesn't mean you're like that, but you're going to put her guard up straight away.

[smackie9]

I agree, you compliment what she is wearing or something about her, like "You look stunning today" "Is that a new dress?" "Did you do something with your hair? You look so pretty".

 

 

 

No different than what a woman would say to a guy. "wow you look sharp today, new shoes?" You compliment their taste, how they are put together, and how they look=flattering.

[preraph]

Since the goal is to get a dance partner and not a girlfriend, I would say keep it to something about dancing: "Well, you certainly have a good look for dancing. I bet you do really well at it. Would love to dance with you and see if it's a good fit."

 

Since it's more or less a job, I'd approach these women dancers assuming they are married or otherwise have a boyfriend or partner and not cross any lines. Because if they are just looking for a dancing partner, the last thing they want is one who is panting over them, and the last thing they need is for their boyfriend or husband to see flirtatious texts or emails.

[Pandoramix]

I agree, you compliment what she is wearing or something about her, like "You look stunning today" "Is that a new dress?" "Did you do something with your hair? You look so pretty".

 

 

 

No different than what a woman would say to a guy. "wow you look sharp today, new shoes?" You compliment their taste, how they are put together, and how they look=flattering.

 

 

Hahahahahaha!

 

I really have to corrent you here: I am a guy, and if you tell me smt. like "you look good, are that new shoes?" I will give you very weird, confused look and say "uhm...no? I wear the same shoes for past 3 years...?"

 

[Pandoramix]

Since the goal is to get a dance partner and not a girlfriend, I would say keep it to something about dancing: "Well, you certainly have a good look for dancing. I bet you do really well at it. Would love to dance with you and see if it's a good fit."

 

Since it's more or less a job, I'd approach these women dancers assuming they are married or otherwise have a boyfriend or partner and not cross any lines. Because if they are just looking for a dancing partner, the last thing they want is one who is panting over them, and the last thing they need is for their boyfriend or husband to see flirtatious texts or emails.

 

 

ok, several things here (it is perfectly OK, people who don't dance, don't know) :

 

Once you start dancing you automatically have to assume you are flirting as well. Your partner needs to understand too. Whether he likes or not. That does not mean there will be any infidelity, but flirting for certain.

 

So in conclusion there is no difference between dancing and regular flirting... except for the fact my goal is not to touch anyone's panties (only everything else ).

 

So no, being formal and impersonal is not a good thing here. Trust me, I am learning from the best

[Pandoramix]

I realize you're not on a dating site. Still, you be a gentleman by being respectful and treating her as a human being. By complimenting on her looks before she knows you well you align yourself with the category of men that treats women as sex objects. That doesn't mean you're like that, but you're going to put her guard up straight away.

 

 

...no.

 

look, if I am some cheap onofthemany fuggboy for some woman just because I tell her she has beautiful eyes, she looks pretty, her shape is beautiful and great for dance... then I respect her, but I am not interested in dancing with her any more.

 

We are gentlemen there.

 

 

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/tv/2017/12/09/TELEMMGLPICT000148880901_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bqx1rGucoo2J_ExhuM2sOt-5Dg7ACGJPdPR4xgCzbOV8A.jpeg?imwidth=480

 

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/52f51b1de4b0b3416ff82d76/t/56e9e2d259827efe8b793441/1454643040739/Reddress.?format=300w

Edited June 20, 2018 by Pandoramix

[Pandoramix]

I realize you're not on a dating site. Still, you be a gentleman by being respectful and treating her as a human being. By complimenting on her looks before she knows you well you align yourself with the category of men that treats women as sex objects. That doesn't mean you're like that, but you're going to put her guard up straight away.

 

yeah, sorry, what I wanted to say is that I believe it is perfectly normal to compliment look, particularly in dancing, and if somebody feels uncomfortable just because of the sheer compliment, problem will be on his/her side.

[LurkerXX]

"I love your style!"

 

"You're a fantastic dancer."

 

It doesn't even have to be that creative to be different than what they are used to hearing, just something not explicitly sexuual.

[Pandoramix]

noice! Thanx!

[Lotsgoingon]

Ok, the type of "dancing" actually matters.

 

Are you talking about a partnered social dance, like swing dance or salsa, etc.? In these dances, you typically rotate partners throughout the night. You may dance several times with one partner, but the etiquette is usually strong: you don't pair off with one person.

 

Or are you talking about informal freestyle dancing?

[losangelena]

How about complimenting something other than their looks? Telling a woman who knows she's pretty that she's pretty is ho-hum/snooze. Dime a dozen. Think outside that box.

[Pandoramix]

Ok, the type of "dancing" actually matters.

 

Are you talking about a partnered social dance, like swing dance or salsa, etc.? In these dances, you typically rotate partners throughout the night. You may dance several times with one partner, but the etiquette is usually strong: you don't pair off with one person.

 

Or are you talking about informal freestyle dancing?

 

 

Samba, Rumba, Jive, Cha cha chá and if I will be drunk enough and remember the vid I saw before, maybe even salsa

 

I have nothing about etiquette. I am just learning the basics, mostly proper technique - how to stand, walk, turn...

[GoreSP]

Hallo,

 

I am just searching for inspiration. I am surrounded by quite pretty/beautiful and charming women/dancers, and I would like to express I like how they look . But I am terrible donkey, I crawled out of jungle and have no idea how to talk to woman . And I am 30 y.o.!!

 

what would you say if girl sends you pic of her where she looks very pretty? You Offered her to take her out for a dance, she agreed and now you want to make her feel good by expressing how proud you feel for the...privilege she is presenting you by making you company.

 

In other words, how to be gentleman??

 

How about you express how proud you feel for the 'privilege' by complimenting her on something other than her look?

 

Personal achievements, job, hobbies, things they do for others.

 

To give you examples for myself: I train for Olympic weightlifting (strength), I work full time and completing an undergraduate degree part-time (smart), I'm housing a friend who just got a new job in my town but ran into some financial troubles (empathic, helpful) I'm preparing a donation box for a women's shelter in my town (giving, generous)

 

NONE of them are related to my looks in any way but there you go: 5 easy compliments that'll make me feel good about myself with having to rely on how I look.

 

Edit: if you're taking her out to dance, telling her she is a great dancer is suuuuper easy.

Also, as a general rule, don't use 'female'. Woman is fine.

Edited June 22, 2018 by GoreSP

[kendahke]

She's a dancer? Tell her "nice lines". She'll know what you mean. It has to do with form and turnout.

[gone_girl]

Compliment her style... that means you appreciate her taste and it's a better than complimenting something she was just born with.

[Lotsgoingon]

Actually the etiquette for social dance ... like rhumba, swing and all of that ... is actually NOT to compliment women--at least not during the dance.

 

Otherwise, social dances would be pickup spots and the dance community would be ruined ... Instead, the etiquette is to rotate partners ... and there's a reason for that. Dances are fun because you dance with a variety of people at a variety of skill levels and experience.

 

After a good dance, you simply say "thank you" ... or "that was a lot of fun" or "you're a great dancer."

 

If you compliment someone on their clothes ... you do so without any energy ... "nice color on you" ... but you wanna say this as if matter of fact, as if you don't really care.

 

Now, let's say in between a dance, perhaps you are on the side while the music plays and others are dancing ... and you happen to have a great conversation with someone ... well you just have the great conversation. You don't hit on them. And don't assume they're there for a date--they're actually not.

 

Over time, you'll develop some friends ... and you'll know when you can exchange numbers and all that.

 

Save the compliments for a later date with a person.

Edited June 22, 2018 by Lotsgoingon

[Pandoramix]

Actually the etiquette for social dance ... like rhumba, swing and all of that ... is actually NOT to compliment women--at least not during the dance.

 

Otherwise, social dances would be pickup spots and the dance community would be ruined ... Instead, the etiquette is to rotate partners ... and there's a reason for that. Dances are fun because you dance with a variety of people at a variety of skill levels and experience.

 

After a good dance, you simply say "thank you" ... or "that was a lot of fun" or "you're a great dancer."

 

If you compliment someone on their clothes ... you do so without any energy ... "nice color on you" ... but you wanna say this as if matter of fact, as if you don't really care.

 

Now, let's say in between a dance, perhaps you are on the side while the music plays and others are dancing ... and you happen to have a great conversation with someone ... well you just have the great conversation. You don't hit on them. And don't assume they're there for a date--they're actually not.

 

Over time, you'll develop some friends ... and you'll know when you can exchange numbers and all that.

 

Save the compliments for a later date with a person.

 

 

 

Ooook...! Although not what I asked about these are actually very good advice! Thanks bro a lot!

 

As for complimenting her look... The story is simply this: I did not meet her in person, I she sent me her photo and I wanted to say I like what I see... you know, sometimes we don't like dancer's look, so we kinda refuse them... but when we do, it might be nice to appreciate it in some way?

 

But I get responses of others, yes, I can, but very gently. And in some sincere and nice way

 

Thanx!