Jump to content

Bf's in and out of job for several years


fixandfix

Recommended Posts

Lately, there has been some issues with my bf's work and I feel it's taking a toll on him. We've been together for 7 years, and it has been a whirlwind for my bf's career. He has been doing temporary jobs (contract jobs) for the past 4 years. These jobs usually only last for about 6 months and then he'd have to find another job. The thing is that there have been 2 periods where he was jobless for more than 6 months, now is the third time. Things didn't turned out as what he planned. He left his previous job because of some backstabbing politics.

 

He's feeling very demoralized about it because we have plans to get a house and settle down last year, but things have been pushed back because of financial reasons. From where I come from, housing loans are expensive and even though I hold a job, I'm not able to fully finance the house alone. So we decided to push back the plan to get a house and other marriage plans.

 

I can see that my bf is determined to secure a full-time job this time. He has been unemployed since Feb and have taken up some online courses that hopefully can help him with his employability. But today, he suddenly said that he wants to work overseas because of a press release that our country is going to trained foreign talents instead of hiring local talents (it was the field that he was interested in going into). He felt very demoralized and said that, even if he continues and take up any job here, we'd still break up because of financial reasons.

 

I know that he is very jaded and tired of jumping jobs, which was why now he is very determined to find a full-time permanent job. But in my country, they have more contract jobs than permanent job now and it is really taking a toll on him. I'm at a loss about how to cheer him up. The last message I sent to him was that we'll get past this stage together. As much as I tried to pretend I'm okay, the fact that he wanted to move overseas and (probably didn't consider about me) upset me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Many men define themselves by their careers & earning power. If his are off track he's not whole enough in himself to be a good BF. He's not seeing you as a team because he doesn't think he's holding up his end. Hence he's not thinking about you when he's thinking about overseas work. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you or care about you but he's got to feel more comfortable & confident in his own skin as an individual before he can be a good partner.

 

All you can do is keep encouraging him. Review his resume with him. Scour the on line job sites for him & suggest possible employers. Tell him about job fairs or other things he can do to get work.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Reading your history I think you are at a crossroad and it's time to end this relationship. You've been unhappy with him for a very long time and now you see him wanting to fly away without even mentioning you and this after 7 years together. Doesn't that tell you something?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
bathtub-row

He needs to be able to do what he feels is best for his peace of mind. This isn’t a case of him being lazy or doing things that sabotage his jobs so I can see where he’s coming from about this opportunity. I say let him do what he needs to do and see what happens. It may end your relationship, or he may not even get the position. You never know. If he gets the job, you’ll need to be prepared to let one another go. I know it seems harsh but this is where you’re at with one another.

 

We have to keep in mind that love of others doesn’t always supersede the need to value ourselves and do what is ultimately best for us.

Link to post
Share on other sites

People who go from job to job, and blame everyone left right and center for their misfortune is because he has a bad attributed towards authority or has poor work ethics. I have been a manager for the same company for over two decades, and I have seen this type of person many times. They can be difficult to deal with, they seem to make themselves out to be more valuable than they really are, they feel entitled, and have temper tantrums when someone else (who is more worthy) gets the position.

 

 

 

If you are a good worker, and have a good attitude, you are a valuable asset, so the company will keep you or will refer you for another project. This is fact.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...