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The day after a good first date


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Question for the ladies - if you had a good first date with someone and wanted to see them again which of these would be preferable after the date to happen:

 

A) the guy sends you a text the next day asking how your day went and asking you for a second date.

 

B) the guy doesn't speak to you at all the next day but texts you the day after that asking for a second date.

 

C) the guy doesn't speak to you for a few days then gets in touch.

 

D) the guy doesn't get back to you at all so you contact him of you're really interested.

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None of the above.

Option E: A quick call the following afternoon/evening asking for a date and having a suggested time and place.

It's a quick call and there's no need to get into any prolonged continuing text chat which I find really dull. plus I like a man who has the balls to call.

 

If she is a huge texter then option A.

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hippychick3

Definitely option A.

 

Options C and D would make me lose all interest.

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This is the worst part of dating for me - I don't want to come across too needy. I am certain it went well this time as:

 

We gad genuine conversation, we both asked questions, had some laughs. At one stage we went to look at the cocktail menu and she sat close to me which I saw as a good sign.

 

When we parted we hugged and I said I'd like to see her again. She said 'Yes definitely' and I said text me when you get in safely. As soon as I got home she text 'Home safe, hope you got home ok, had a good night :)'

 

I replied saying I did too and we left it at that as it was late and we both went to sleep.

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hippychick3
This is the worst part of dating for me - I don't want to come across too needy. I am certain it went well this time as:

 

We gad genuine conversation, we both asked questions, had some laughs. At one stage we went to look at the cocktail menu and she sat close to me which I saw as a good sign.

 

When we parted we hugged and I said I'd like to see her again. She said 'Yes definitely' and I said text me when you get in safely. As soon as I got home she text 'Home safe, hope you got home ok, had a good night :)'

 

I replied saying I did too and we left it at that as it was late and we both went to sleep.

 

She sounds interested from what you described. Texting her the next day (option A) will not at all come across as needy to someone who is interested. We like to be pursued :)

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If she's genuinely into you, she will likely want to hear from you the next day. Contrary to popular belief, women don't want to play games any more than guys do.

 

Needy isn't whether you contact her the next day to make plans for your next date. Needy is constantly pestering her for a date when she isn't interested, or texting every hour to confirm a date you've already arranged. Needy is when your level of activity/interaction doesn't gel with hers and you're ignoring that.

 

Texting the next day is fine.

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Marley Rizzla

Definitely not D. Do not leave it to the girl to initiate contact.

 

C is risky.

B is the safest option for me. It gives us (her) a full day to wonder if you'll call or not. A day to "recover" but still be "high" on excitement.

A is a great option, but it can backfire at times.

 

So go with option B.

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This is the worst part of dating for me - I don't want to come across too needy.

 

Expressing interest is not being needy.

 

 

Being needy is being whiney & acting like this new person is everything to you.

 

 

Would you like to get together again? is not needy.

 

 

OMG! I love you so much. I think you could be the one. I'll just die if I don't see you again. You are the sun & the moon & the stars, the reason the earth rotates. Please oh please, I'm begging you, let me come over tomorrow & clean your house, make you dinner, wash your car, cut your grass, give you $10,000 I'll do anything just for you to text me back -- IS needy.

 

Understand the difference?

 

 

D is definitely a non starter. She will think you ghosted or are game playing. No matter how much she liked you, many women will not take the initiate that early on.

 

 

In all candor your best bet is a quick next day text to judge her response. Then perhaps a call after that during which you invite her on the 2nd date.

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Agh feeling so gutted :(

 

I text her and said 'hope you had a great day at work - was thinkig we could go for some mini golf next week on Tuesday or Wednesday? I promise to go easy on you? ;)"

 

She responded a few hours later 'hey, yeah it was good just about! How did your day go? Sounds fun but my week is pretty busy next week and my parents are coming over Thursday for a few days, how does after that sound?'

 

So I have taken this as a massive low interest sign. Anyone who can go over a week without seeing you again isn't too fussed either way IMO.

 

Don't know how to respond.

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So I have taken this as a massive low interest sign.

WHY?

 

 

 

She told you she's busy, her parents are coming over and she reschduled on the spot....why is that losing interest??

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WHY?

 

 

 

She told you she's busy, her parents are coming over and she reschduled on the spot....why is that losing interest??

 

She has 3 nights before that to fit me in if she really wanted to. When a woman wants to see you she will make time and shift some stuff about.

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She has 3 nights before that to fit me in if she really wanted to. When a woman wants to see you she will make time and shift some stuff about.

 

 

You had ONE date with her, she doesn't have to change her agenda around to meet with you, not yet, it's too soon in the game.

 

 

 

She said she was busy, beleive her. Her parents are visiting so she needs to shop, clean, cook and only has evenings to do that. She may have medical appointments, hair or nail appointments and whatsnot. You just don't know.

 

 

Did you set a date?

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cereal_dater
Agh feeling so gutted :(

 

I text her and said 'hope you had a great day at work - was thinkig we could go for some mini golf next week on Tuesday or Wednesday? I promise to go easy on you? ;)"

 

She responded a few hours later 'hey, yeah it was good just about! How did your day go? Sounds fun but my week is pretty busy next week and my parents are coming over Thursday for a few days, how does after that sound?'

 

So I have taken this as a massive low interest sign. Anyone who can go over a week without seeing you again isn't too fussed either way IMO.

 

Don't know how to respond.

 

You need to calm way down. There was nothing low interest about that text. She counter-offered. You're a stranger she just met, she owes you nothing nor are you a priority yet.

 

Tell her there's no rush and that sounds good. Send her a fun playful text every second or third day to keep the spark. After the week passes, go ahead and suggest another day or two, if she hasn't already.

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She responded a few hours later 'hey, yeah it was good just about! How did your day go? Sounds fun but my week is pretty busy next week and my parents are coming over Thursday for a few days, how does after that sound?'

 

So I have taken this as a massive low interest sign. Anyone who can go over a week without seeing you again isn't too fussed either way IMO.

 

Don't know how to respond.

 

Not necessarily negative.

 

If she specified a particular date ('how about the sunday?') you have definite interest. If she made no effort to reschedule ('sorry, I can't next week as my parents are over') then you have definite no interest. You have somewhere in between, a vague suggestion of an alternative. No way to know for sure how strong this interest is, so take it as genuine and make plans accordingly. You'll find out where you stand soon enough.

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Sounds positive to me.

She's just busy is all.

She obviously has things she needs to do Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday - probably there'll be some prep involved for her parents coming to stay in there too.

You've only had one date so you can't expect her to drop or re-arrange everything to suit you.

 

She's counter offered

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I text her back telling her that I had a few friends over to watch the football in response to her question then put 'that sounds nice for you, hope you have your menu prepared for your parents! (She mentioned she likes to cook for them when they come over) yeah the week after will be cool, let's go for the Tuesday night at 8?"

 

That was sent 4 hours ago, she's been on Whatsapp a few times since but not replied...

 

Really thought she was very interested in me - I've got good at judging the level of attraction on first dates now. I would like to go out with someone that makes it easy and really shows they want to see me and are excited about it.

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Agh feeling so gutted :(

 

I text her and said 'hope you had a great day at work - was thinkig we could go for some mini golf next week on Tuesday or Wednesday? I promise to go easy on you? ;)"

 

She responded a few hours later 'hey, yeah it was good just about! How did your day go? Sounds fun but my week is pretty busy next week and my parents are coming over Thursday for a few days, how does after that sound?'

 

So I have taken this as a massive low interest sign. Anyone who can go over a week without seeing you again isn't too fussed either way IMO.

 

Don't know how to respond.

 

She has 3 nights before that to fit me in if she really wanted to. When a woman wants to see you she will make time and shift some stuff about.

 

I text her back telling her that I had a few friends over to watch the football in response to her question then put 'that sounds nice for you, hope you have your menu prepared for your parents! (She mentioned she likes to cook for them when they come over) yeah the week after will be cool, let's go for the Tuesday night at 8?"

 

That was sent 4 hours ago, she's been on Whatsapp a few times since but not replied...

 

Really thought she was very interested in me - I've got good at judging the level of attraction on first dates now. I would like to go out with someone that makes it easy and really shows they want to see me and are excited about it.

 

While my initial example was extreme, all of the above is needy. OMG. The woman has a life & parts of it got scheduled before she met you & went on one date. You have no idea what her work deadlines are. You have no idea how much she needs to front load her week so she has time to clean her house, shop, prep the guest room & cook before her parents arrive or how much time she will need while they are here. She probably wants no work distractions so she can enjoy the visit which requires her to sacrifice social time to clear the decks for them.

 

She is plenty interested: she asked about your day. She offered an explanation & an alternative time. She's allowed to not respond to you during a weekend.

 

Your expectations are completely unrealistic & over the top here. Dial it back. Go on a date with somebody else next week. Hang out with your friends. Work overtime. Then see her when she's free again. After one date, even a good one, you cannot expect that you will fall into the types of dating patterns that characterize long term relationships of more then a year where your lives are intertwined.

 

If you are not careful this attitude you are projecting will sabotage this before it even begins. Impatience is unattractive.

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That was sent 4 hours ago, she's been on Whatsapp a few times since but not replied...
Watching her moves on whatapp! You're worse than a school girl. There could be 10s of reasons why she did not reply right away.
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She replied 'Yeah let's go with that for now :)'

 

Now comes the 10 days or so in between where if I don't contact I fear she'll move on to the other guys she's no doubt in the orbit of and if I do contact it will come across as needy...

 

I know we males got lucky with not being able to get pregnant but the dating game is incredibly painful for us :lmao:

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She replied 'Yeah let's go with that for now :)'

 

Now comes the 10 days or so in between where if I don't contact I fear she'll move on to the other guys she's no doubt in the orbit of and if I do contact it will come across as needy...

 

I know we males got lucky with not being able to get pregnant but the dating game is incredibly painful for us :lmao:

 

 

At what point your views on dating got so screwed?

 

 

 

Do you read threads written by women on here? What do they think of men not keeping in touch between dates?

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She replied 'Yeah let's go with that for now :)'

 

Now comes the 10 days or so in between where if I don't contact I fear she'll move on to the other guys she's no doubt in the orbit of and if I do contact it will come across as needy...

 

I know we males got lucky with not being able to get pregnant but the dating game is incredibly painful for us :lmao:

 

She agreed to the next date though. That is good.

 

Not contacting her for the 10 days is a great way to ensure the next date won't happen. Instead keep in contact. Momentum is your friend!

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If she is interested, she she contact you too. It sounds like she is being nice, but her actions don't match her words

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If she is interested, she she contact you too. It sounds like she is being nice, but her actions don't match her words

 

That's what I think. Surely if you are super interested in a guy you would make more of an effort? I'd rather her tell me she isn't interested then prolong it and flake on me in 10 days time.

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