max3732 Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 Met someone online and chatted with her with like 15 messages back and forth where I joked about something in her profile. I asked where she lived and found out she's about 45 minutes away and suggested meeting up. Instead she said he's not comfortable yet and wants to get to know me more 1st. I asked her if there's anything specific she wants to know and she said nothing specific just who am I am, what I do and things like that. How do I take it from here? Just tell her what I do for a living, ask her and then tell her my interests? At what point do I ask her out again? Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 chatted with her with like 15 messages back and forth I'm hearing TEXTING. If I'm right, get on the PHONE! Let her HEAR YOUR VOICE! Tell her how much you're enjoying TALKING to her and hearing HER voice. My experience is that phone conversation beats texting ten to one to get to know someone (and face time beats phone conv, especially with a caressing hand hold across the restaurant/Starbucks table). If you can't find a conv topic once it's REALLY a conv, I'm not going to be able to help you. (Old nospam shakes his head is disbelief about how 'technology' has prevented the 'youngsters' from developing communication skills.) Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 I agree, call her, have a conversation and set up a meeting. Don't fall for those women that want to texts for weeks before meeting in the name of 'getting to know you better'. The 'getting to know you' happens face to face. Link to post Share on other sites
Grey40 Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 Trust me women who say that have no intention of ever meeting up and are probably using the app just for boredom or ego boost and window shopping. Might even be in another relationship still. I know this 100% from experience. You know how to handle that? When you ask her out and she says she needs to get to know you more first just say “Ok I understand, I prefer meeting someone face to face to get to know them because it’s really hard to get to know someone online, that’s ok though. Nice to match with you. Good luck with your search” and move on. 9/10 times these girls freak out and end up apologizing and saying they’re willing to meet because they’re afraid to lose you. If they don’t, then it’s for the better 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Share Posted May 29, 2018 I'm hearing TEXTING. If I'm right, get on the PHONE! Let her HEAR YOUR VOICE! Tell her how much you're enjoying TALKING to her and hearing HER voice. My experience is that phone conversation beats texting ten to one to get to know someone (and face time beats phone conv, especially with a caressing hand hold across the restaurant/Starbucks table). If you can't find a conv topic once it's REALLY a conv, I'm not going to be able to help you. (Old nospam shakes his head is disbelief about how 'technology' has prevented the 'youngsters' from developing communication skills.) Usually I've texted before meeting someone in person. I much prefer face to face for the reason you said and I think body language is extremely telling (although I haven't been able to caress anyone's hand yet). I'd prefer to get to know someone in person rather than over the phone since I can read her non-verbal cues. She did give me her number so I could definitely call her. I just feel a bit awkward about how long to talk, how much to divulge and how to get off the phone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 Trust me women who say that have no intention of ever meeting up and are probably using the app just for boredom or ego boost and window shopping. Might even be in another relationship still. I know this 100% from experience. You know how to handle that? When you ask her out and she says she needs to get to know you more first just say “Ok I understand, I prefer meeting someone face to face to get to know them because it’s really hard to get to know someone online, that’s ok though. Nice to match with you. Good luck with your search” and move on. 9/10 times these girls freak out and end up apologizing and saying they’re willing to meet because they’re afraid to lose you. If they don’t, then it’s for the better Agree 100%. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 Personally, I think you should meet after a few messages exchanging basic info with each other. For me, it’s a waste of time to talk on the phone. What does one have to lose just doing a quick casual pre-date first meet? It’s so much more informative and effective. Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 I just feel a bit awkward about how long to talk, how much to divulge and how to get off the phone Start the conv and see how it goes about time, content, and when to stop (use the Force, Luke). Worst case is you blow off this girl but get experience being your (charming) self on the phone with someone you haven't yet met in person. Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 I agree, call her, have a conversation and set up a meeting. Don't fall for those women that want to texts for weeks before meeting in the name of 'getting to know you better'. The 'getting to know you' happens face to face. Exactly my thought, a date is where you get to know the person. She may be hiding something or just wants a text buddy. Personally I like meeting the online date ASAP, within the next days or the week. I had a guy who I was messaging for months (I was also interacting w/other guys), turns out he was really creepy in person, so I don't trust people who put off meeting. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 I would have a phone conversation before setting up the meeting, it might save you some time and energy having to do with transportation and false pretenses. Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted May 30, 2018 Author Share Posted May 30, 2018 I would have a phone conversation before setting up the meeting, it might save you some time and energy having to do with transportation and false pretenses. Just as a follow up. I called her and found out she's not what I'm looking for so guess it was for the best I didn't drive all that way to meet her in person. The downside is I'm still single with no dates on the horizon. Very discouraging! Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 Just as a follow up. I called her and found out she's not what I'm looking for so guess it was for the best I didn't drive all that way to meet her in person. The downside is I'm still single with no dates on the horizon. Very discouraging! You don’t like her voice? Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted May 30, 2018 Author Share Posted May 30, 2018 You don’t like her voice? Haha, that wasn't it Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 Personally, I wouldn’t think of doing a quick casual pre-date first meet with a potentially interesting person as a waste of my time, even if I might end up with zero romantic attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 Usually I've texted before meeting someone in person. I much prefer face to face for the reason you said and I think body language is extremely telling (although I haven't been able to caress anyone's hand yet). I'd prefer to get to know someone in person rather than over the phone since I can read her non-verbal cues. She did give me her number so I could definitely call her. I just feel a bit awkward about how long to talk, how much to divulge and how to get off the phone Text only if you have too, but getting on the cell and using voice to voice is more ideal because you need to know if your talking to a woman or man. Video/Voice Get on Skype, Whatapp, FB Messenger whatever you can to see her voice and actions in video in real-time. Can you and her get a long? Does she smile when she see you. If she only wants to text to you then she might be hiding something.. Plus 30 45 and 1 hr away isn't a big deal. If you find yourself talking more than 30 days without voice call then best to move on.. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 Just as a follow up. I called her and found out she's not what I'm looking for so guess it was for the best I didn't drive all that way to meet her in person. The downside is I'm still single with no dates on the horizon. Very discouraging! Oh okay you called her and you wasn't interested in her. That happens. You move on to the next one.. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 Well , you could try just being yourself and give it some more time , no doubt she ask things she wants to know. Whta you do for a living has nothing to do with what she wants to know. Link to post Share on other sites
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