youngin2383 Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 **So quick background info there is this girl shes kinda young 18 and in high school and I recently followed her on Instagram. We have seen each other before a few times so I requested her. She is the type to date and not just... you know** She accepted me and followed me back. She has liked all my pictures for the past few months and I have done the same. Basically, we have only talked less than 3 times for about 5-10 min but I think she's into me. I don't have her number and don't see her too often. Any creative ways to break some conversation? Should I DM her? What should I even say She is a senior in high school and I'm a senior in college so there is definitely an age gap there. The problem is we are kinda friends with the same people so I don't want to come off as desperate, me being a college student lol. Not sure how to strike up a conversation with her. Please help lol Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 Well, you could message her and congratulate her on her graduation and ask about her plans for after graduation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngin2383 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Share Posted May 29, 2018 She actually hasn't graduated she is going to be a senior as I am too Well, you could message her and congratulate her on her graduation and ask about her plans for after graduation. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 She actually hasn't graduated she is going to be a senior as I am too Ohhh....I misunderstood. Hmmmm. My daughter is going to be a senior and I'm not sure how thrilled I'd be with her dating a college senior.... But I'm not your mother . You could still ask her if she's thinking about any specific colleges. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngin2383 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Share Posted May 29, 2018 I know I wouldn't be thrilled either but I'm a junior in college at the moment soon to be a senior not sure if that makes much of difference. Yeah, I'm kind of insecure about the age gap too. I know its bad. We have talked before about colleges before. It would be kinda weird to message her now about that What would you think as a parent if your daughter was dating a college student? Obviously, you would think I'm using her for sex... but I'm really not I'm interested in just dating her. Hard to believe right lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngin2383 Posted May 29, 2018 Author Share Posted May 29, 2018 know I wouldn't be thrilled either but I'm a junior in college at the moment soon to be a senior not sure if that makes much of difference. Yeah, I'm kind of insecure about the age gap too. I know its bad. We have talked before about colleges before. It would be kinda weird to message her now about that What would you think as a parent if your daughter was dating a college student? Obviously, you would think I'm using her for sex... but I'm really not I'm interested in just dating her. Hard to believe right lol. Ohhh....I misunderstood. Hmmmm. My daughter is going to be a senior and I'm not sure how thrilled I'd be with her dating a college senior.... But I'm not your mother . You could still ask her if she's thinking about any specific colleges. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 Should I DM her? what's that? Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 Just talk about anything you're interested in ... Ask her some questions. How is senior year? Where is she doing for the summer? ... What is she thinking of majoring in during college (assuming she's going to college). Now the possible bad news ... Typically when I've had a crush and couldn't get a conversation started--for whatever reason--that indicated there just wasn't dating energy and dating connection there. But start by showing a genuine interest in her. Otherwise, you're just crushing from a distance ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted May 29, 2018 Share Posted May 29, 2018 Crazy, you think that over time and as you get older it gets easier, but … It doesn't. But to answer your question, I would ask her about general things (how things are during her senior year, what her summer plan is, etc.). Then as she answers, ask if perhaps she would see fit to include you in some of those plans / weekends. Link to post Share on other sites
FilterCoffee Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 what's that? Direct Message alpha. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 What would you think as a parent if your daughter was dating a college student? Obviously, you would think I'm using her for sex... but I'm really not I'm interested in just dating her. Hard to believe right lol. No, I don't think I'd automatically jump to "using her" for sex. "More ready" for sex? Yes. Having it as a non-negotiable? Yes. But I'm also not naive. I would be more worried that you're just at different life stages. You're embarking upon your final "play" year and looking at REAL adulthood. She's just going to be starting her "play" years. Link to post Share on other sites
Romantic_Antics Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 (edited) I've never been a fan of having a "game plan" when it comes to talking to a gal I'm interested in. It just takes me out of the moment and hinders spontaneity. What you need is just an icebreaker to get her interested in going out on a date with you. Maybe a (DM? I had no idea what that was either) along the lines of, "I noticed you've liked all of my pictures lately, but I think yours are better. How would you like to go out?" If something like that doesn't suit your personality then replace the flirty line with something that suits you more naturally. Whatever it is make sure that you ask her out and just have fun. Be yourself and don't overthink. The conversation will come. Edited May 30, 2018 by Romantic_Antics Link to post Share on other sites
lakerman34 Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 OK, so, this is my take. I was 25 a couple of years ago, seeing a couple of 19 year olds (I was juggling two 19 year olds and a 27 year old). Both the 19 year olds were underwhelming. All 3 were "willing," but the 19 year olds were underwhelming. I don't know what you are looking for with this girl. To date her, to have no-strings-attached fun, I don't know. What I could tell you was it didn't take a whole lot to impress her. If she's a secure girl, you'll probably have to take her out, make her feel like you're invested. Please, don't be a douche and just get laid and ditch her. The one girl was reading and willing the very first night I went out with her. It's weird. You don't want to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngin2383 Posted May 30, 2018 Author Share Posted May 30, 2018 OK, so, this is my take. I was 25 a couple of years ago, seeing a couple of 19 year olds (I was juggling two 19 year olds and a 27 year old). Both the 19 year olds were underwhelming. All 3 were "willing," but the 19 year olds were underwhelming. I don't know what you are looking for with this girl. To date her, to have no-strings-attached fun, I don't know. What I could tell you was it didn't take a whole lot to impress her. If she's a secure girl, you'll probably have to take her out, make her feel like you're invested. Please, don't be a douche and just get laid and ditch her. The one girl was reading and willing the very first night I went out with her. It's weird. You don't want to do that. I have to agree with everyone. We are at different stages of our life. I'm graduating college soon and she is graduating high school. I really see her for dating. I know that might sound creepy/cheesy but shes is honestly everything I'm looking for, for a serious relationship. But again she might just see me as a college **** buddy lol. I don't know we are at different stages. I know in the future 4 years isnt bad but right now that is a huge gap. I could dm (Direct message) her but again that's random and dming her asking to go out is kinda awkward and very straightforward. I feel like whatever I do it should be in person. I'll be seeing her in a few weeks. Should I hold off on messaging her and save it for in person? Or should I message her/flirt with her and that way she knows my intentions? When we talked in person it was very natural and flowing. But now I'm sitting in no man's land waiting... Link to post Share on other sites
Author youngin2383 Posted May 30, 2018 Author Share Posted May 30, 2018 I have to agree with everyone. We are at different stages of our life. I'm graduating college soon and she is graduating high school. I really see her for dating. I know that might sound creepy/cheesy but shes is honestly everything I'm looking for, for a serious relationship. But again she might just see me as a college **** buddy lol. I don't know we are at different stages. I know in the future 4 years isnt bad but right now that is a huge gap. I could dm (Direct message) her but again that's random and dming her asking to go out is kinda awkward and very straightforward. I feel like whatever I do it should be in person. I'll be seeing her in a few weeks. Should I hold off on messaging her and save it for in person? Or should I message her/flirt with her and that way she knows my intentions? When we talked in person it was very natural and flowing. But now I'm sitting in no man's land waiting... No, I don't think I'd automatically jump to "using her" for sex. "More ready" for sex? Yes. Having it as a non-negotiable? Yes. But I'm also not naive. I would be more worried that you're just at different life stages. You're embarking upon your final "play" year and looking at REAL adulthood. She's just going to be starting her "play" years. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 31, 2018 Share Posted May 31, 2018 She's too young for you, maturity wise. 4 years when you are both over 21 is nothing. But right now the gap between high school & you being an actual adult is a non starter. Link to post Share on other sites
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