Misreading PDAs... does he just want sex?

[Andypants777]

I just started seeing a guy about 10 days ago. We met last Saturday for a coffee and then a few days later for drinks and again last night for a movie.

 

I'm very attracted to him, but I also know I attach fast and want to be respectful to myself. I don't want him to lose interest but in this fast paced dating world, it seems like if you don't play by certain rules - guys move on fast.

 

After date #2 - he walked me back to my car and we made out for a good half an hour. I liked it at first, but we are both in our 30s... I don't need a full on make out session to know I like the guy. He kept on telling me he wanted to hold me and kiss me for hours. This made me a little bit uneasy, but I tried not to overthink it.

 

The movie yesterday - and same thing. I could barely watch the movie....all two hours he was kissing me and not just pecks, like full on French kissing. I tried to go with it, even though I felt a bit uncomfortable and jokingly said lets watch the movie, cuz I think that mom and her little kids can see us. After the movie, more making out. Then the goodbye kiss goodnight more making out...I have to admit I got overwhelmed.

 

Then upon leaving for the night, he says "what about I come over to your place and have some wine on our next date?" I responded "maybe" quickly - but sincerely I was put off by the PDAs.

 

He doesn't have his own place that we can go over to, so I kind of understand why he wants to come over. But his intentions are screaming sex and I'm just not ready. Seriously, if he can't stop kissing me in public, he won't stop in private either. And I don't want that awkward moment either where I have to ask him to leave because its making me uncomfortable. I like this guy - I'm just not sure if he wants me or just wants sex with me.

 

Any thoughts?

[FilterCoffee]

Does he want sex? Yes. Does he want sex and more? Hard to tell.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I can't say whether he does or does not like YOU as a person, but I'd say sex is definitley his priority here.

[Zahara]

He definitely wants sex. No doubt about that.

 

Whether it leads to anything significant is hard to tell at this point.

 

Personally, guys that have pushed for indoor dates this soon, are usually only after one thing and nothing more. But then again, I have a girlfriend who slept with her date on the first night and they're now engaged. Hard to say.

 

Stick to your boundaries and keep your eyes wide open. Keep your emotions in check as well. If you don't feel comfortable about something -- speak up. Don't tip toe around him because you do not want to upset or push him away. If he likes you and wants more, he'll keep pace with you and respect your boundaries.

[losangelena]

I don't want him to lose interest but in this fast paced dating world, it seems like if you don't play by certain rules - guys move on fast.

 

The ones who were just looking for an easy lay move on quickly.

 

If all of this early PDA makes you uncomfortable, pump the brakes. If you're not interested in a potential hook-up, pump the brakes. If he loses interested because you assert your boundaries, then you have your answer. But honestly, I don't think you're missing out on anything.

[lurker74]

Personally, guys that have pushed for indoor dates this soon, are usually only after one thing and nothing more.

 

It's been my experience that women generally push for sex by the third or fourth date. On a couple of occasions, I've had sex solely because I knew the woman wanted to and would be put off if I didn't even though I wasn't all that into the idea (I'm a man, so not being all that into the idea is still plenty enough to be able to do it).

 

Stick to your boundaries and keep your eyes wide open. Keep your emotions in check as well. If you don't feel comfortable about something -- speak up. Don't tip toe around him because you do not want to upset or push him away. If he likes you and wants more, he'll keep pace with you and respect your boundaries.

 

This is quoted for truth. He can't know that you don't like making out non stop if you don't tell him. For all you know, he may think YOU want it.

[carhill]

Lock 'er down quick.

 

OP, how did he handle the 'maybe' on the wine at your place thing?