My first online dating review...

[Myasylum]

Hello,

 

Now I'm pretty New to this single life after being married for 18 years... So forgive my ignorance.

But I swear... this online dating business is from the Devil himself.

I sometimes wonder if people on there want to actually date anyone at all... or if they just enjoy the attention?

It just seems to feed people's negative desires and brings out the worst part in people.... and they keep coming back more, because It becomes additive. It may start off as looking for love... but when you have the attention of 30 men a day... it becomes for attention. Even if they do meet someo e, they'll be back... to feed.

I have also never been one to chase after anyone, but it seems you almost have too or it just dies. It becomes a game of cat and mouse... Once it dies, you just do it all over again.

Women seem to be consistently "trading up".

They just use you till something better comes along (It's all about looks, It just is).

I've also been someone that dates 1 person at a time. You'll know when it doesn't work, then you move on.

Not no more. People are dating 10 others at a time.

Getting the girl, has almost become more of a "prize" that you win instead of a real person with any real connection.

This is all too confusing to me, and seems to take the romance and mystery out of everything.

I guess I'll be going back to the fruits and vegetable isles at the local grocery store.

.

Just my 2 cents.

 

Do others have this same experience?

[Chilli]

Ahhh, don't be fooled man. The same women will still be on 3 other sites too and still single in 3 yrs time.

from my experience l met the best chicks on my site out of 1000's and they all tell me that and l saw it myself, it usually all amounts to nothing in the end, male or female.

Or a few bullshyt few mth so called relationships that go nowhere and on and on and on for years it goes until they too give up.

 

Not to say it can't happen for you or for her a few do get lucky, even here at LS there's a few people have married from date sites now and then and l giess that's why genuine people even bother , just that off chance, luck.

But most get no where . It's an allusion male or female , fluff, in this throw away mentality we live in now, as if the worlds suddenly your oyster but,,,, it doesn't turn out that way after all. you see and so does she. LS is also full of girls fed up with them and l met plenty in RL too.

Edited May 27, 2018 by Chilli

[nospam99]

I bet Chilli is not surprised to see me adding my 2 cents ....

 

I've been at 'it' (online dating/OLD) for about nine months. I haven't yet 'won the prize' and though I'm getting more and more jaded as time goes by I'm not yet quitting. I'm a 64 y/o fairly recent (just a little over a year) divorcee. I've met and dated more better quality women in those nine months than in my entire seven year pre-marriage dating life. I'll claim to be 'fairly careful' in my picker, only initiating contact with women who 'push lots of my buttons' in their profiles AND sound sincere. I suggest anyone using OLD continue to work the system with lots of patience and no expectations.

[coolheadal]

Hello,

 

Now I'm pretty New to this single life after being married for 18 years... So forgive my ignorance.

But I swear... this online dating business is from the Devil himself.

I sometimes wonder if people on there want to actually date anyone at all... or if they just enjoy the attention?

It just seems to feed people's negative desires and brings out the worst part in people.... and they keep coming back more, because It becomes additive. It may start off as looking for love... but when you have the attention of 30 men a day... it becomes for attention. Even if they do meet someo e, they'll be back... to feed.

I have also never been one to chase after anyone, but it seems you almost have too or it just dies. It becomes a game of cat and mouse... Once it dies, you just do it all over again.

Women seem to be consistently "trading up".

They just use you till something better comes along (It's all about looks, It just is).

I've also been someone that dates 1 person at a time. You'll know when it doesn't work, then you move on.

Not no more. People are dating 10 others at a time.

Getting the girl, has almost become more of a "prize" that you win instead of a real person with any real connection.

This is all too confusing to me, and seems to take the romance and mystery out of everything.

I guess I'll be going back to the fruits and vegetable isles at the local grocery store.

.

Just my 2 cents.

 

Do others have this same experience?

 

I am out of that game for good I don't like it at all..

AOL 1997 - 1998

Miggle2/OKC 2011 to 2017.

 

Either way AOL those women were the best of the crop I had over 300 but you can only chat with 150 out of those only 13 I would deem someone I would date. The worst of the crop were on Miggle2 & OKC most were crazy, married still, had way to many kids still living with them, some never married and no kids but still were crazy in the head, some scammers from Nigeria, Ghana, Philippines, Russia, Jamaica, Brazil etc stand out the most. EHarmony, Match.com POF whatever that is called to me are no better. Tinder, Yo Cutie, Buggle etc.. No better. I've been lucky to get out of that OLD now.. I really don't need to use that, with my confidence and looks I am catch a lot of women look and smile at me and love to stare. But I am with someone already I've met at work since Summer of 2017. Like I say it's how you do it then how you want it to work.

[Myasylum]

Oh yea.... that's another one.

 

Good looking women that you find on 3 different sites that you notice are on there for 6+ months.

 

It's like... yea right!! If that's not a red flag?? I don't know what is?? Yea, they are just waiting for the right person... and happen to have free dinners for life.

 

I just hate starting over with new girls all the time. It becomes meaningless and you find yourself repeating the same things... how are you, what's you favorite band... blah blah. Snooze... just to get no where.

 

Plus... this isn't really a complaint more of an annoyance. I've always had younger girls because I look younger.

Well on the sites they automatically put you in your age bracket... unless you lie. Well,.. I'm. Not going to lie. it's Not a good way to start. So... that's just kind of become an acceptance on my part.

 

I almost think there is better luck in bars.

 

I think I may still dabble but like the guy said above. Expect nothing.

[coolheadal]

Oh yea.... that's another one.

 

Good looking women that you find on 3 different sites that you notice are on there for 6+ months.

 

It's like... yea right!! If that's not a red flag?? I don't know what is?? Yea, they are just waiting for the right person... and happen to have free dinners for life.

 

I just hate starting over with new girls all the time. It becomes meaningless and you find yourself repeating the same things... how are you, what's you favorite band... blah blah. Snooze... just to get no where.

 

Plus... this isn't really a complaint more of an annoyance. I've always had younger girls because I look younger.

Well on the sites they automatically put you in your age bracket... unless you lie. Well,.. I'm. Not going to lie. it's Not a good way to start. So... that's just kind of become an acceptance on my part.

 

I almost think there is better luck in bars.

 

I think I may still dabble but like the guy said above. Expect nothing.

 

 

So in the other post you dated someone you met online. But don't judge all of them to be a dud. I ran into all types some told me they were younger than me but turned out to have lied about everything. I am no longer with them. You can try the online connection or you can try the bars, clubs, arcades, supermarkets, of you can go to the beach or fly to Thailand where ever you want to try to meet someone that won't take you to the cleaners.

I've met them at parties as well no different than online dating.. I gave one a chance from work last year 2017 so far so good. I've even when so far and moved her into my house. She still her and we work together in different departments. But everyone going to have a different experience. Just never know who you end up with but don't give up trying. I do not recommend helping those on the road or highway with broken down cars or SUV. I never stopped and help but just don't know who is who today!

[Myasylum]

Yes, I did post before about someone I met online. She was fun, but unfortunately didn't work out.

 

Another thing is... I rather not meet someone 80 miles away.

That's another discouraging thing online dating.

 

I'm not driving 80 miles.

[coolheadal]

Yes, I did post before about someone I met online. She was fun, but unfortunately didn't work out.

 

Another thing is... I rather not meet someone 80 miles away.

That's another discouraging thing online dating.

 

I'm not driving 80 miles.

 

Well remember that 80 miles one way could turn out to be 2 hrs or more trip total round trip is 160 miles. I only met one on my Facebook group page she was 3 hrs one way so that would be 6 hours round trip. miles almost 500 miles. I know we men do what we think is the best but in the end we loose. I did that driving for 6 months almost 6,000 miles before I left her because she was playing games. I don't have the time for those sort of games. I took all my stuff and some thing I let her use. Those things are not gifts she lies too much too. Funny last year I heard from her from email she was worried bout me but not too concern about after being #13 and #14 left her after me. I don't want to deal with such a person ever again. It's better if they're local to the area instead of all that wasted mileage.

 

Yeah I forget to mention about Face Book women and what to expect from them. Doesn't work out like you think? In my case it would be more lies and they all tend to be more crazier than those you meet online dating.. My group is 90% women only 3 had shown some interest in me other wise but they weren't normal. Take someone from work and see how well it turns out as you know them for a few months and you work with them daily if you take them out for breakfast like I did you soon realize you have more in common than you once thought you did!

Edited May 27, 2018 by coolheadal

[Myasylum]

Unfortunately for me the women I work with are 60+.

I'm looking for younger than that.

Work isn't an option unfortunately.

 

I also think though (And this goes both ways), a lot of the people we decline online, would probably be just fine in real life. It's easy to swipe away, but if we actually took the time to meet and get to know someone we'd all be pretty happy.

I'm guilty of that too...

[smackie9]

It is better to meet people to date through friends, outings, hobbies and events. Figure out doing some new things during your free time that encourages you to meet people and socialize. You have a better chance of meeting quality, rather than quantity. And since these dating site are free, you get what you pay for...nothing or very little at best.

[Myasylum]

I was going to post this somewhere else, but it seems more fitting here...

 

Another problem...

 

*most woman do use online as a tool for attention.

 

Most women crave attention naturally. Online it brings out a feeding frenzy of attention. That is why I feel online, women have the upper hand and they thrive there.

 

Any average girl suddenly opens up a whole new wave of options they've never seen before, so they take advantage of it. Men become their prey.

 

A girl I know gets 30 messages a day! I get.. 3 maybe 4 a week lol.

[smackie9]

Apples to oranges....typically men are the pursuers by nature.

 

 

Women don't have a great time either. There are plenty of players, predators that mislead women too.

[Myasylum]

Oh, I don't disagree with that!

 

In nature men are preditory. That's true.

 

I just think online generally women now have the upper hand.

 

Online that balance of nature changes, and I feel women are now taken advantage of the men sometimes as means of revenge as well.

 

I also think the standards of women are through the roof, because there is always the next guy waiting. This causes them to care less and miss the love of their life because they are craving the attention of the next best thing. It's a dangerous game where no one will be happy... but the hunt continues. It's not about finding love as they claim, it's instant gratification for that single moment.

 

I'm not going to this is always the case, but generally it seems to be.

Edited May 27, 2018 by Myasylum

[rightondude]

yeah in online dating women have soooo many options. I've been on several dates from Bumble and Tinder and none of them seem to pan out long term. My suspicion is that they just don't feel I'm worth turning down "seeing what else is out there." I'm not sure I could either if I had 99+ other options out there just waiting on me. The last girl I was out with let me see her Bumble page and no **** she had 99+ showing waiting.

 

And I can't agree more with the sick and tired of introducing myself over and over, telling the same stories, looking to build a connection, and then ... la poof. Ghosted, rejected without much of a reason, here we go again. Sucks. And I'm just as guilty at times too.

[coolheadal]

Unfortunately for me the women I work with are 60+.

I'm looking for younger than that.

Work isn't an option unfortunately.

 

I also think though (And this goes both ways), a lot of the people we decline online, would probably be just fine in real life. It's easy to swipe away, but if we actually took the time to meet and get to know someone we'd all be pretty happy.

I'm guilty of that too...

 

60 plus too old even for me LOL Where I am ages are from 18 and up!

[coolheadal]

Apples to oranges....typically men are the pursuers by nature.

 

 

Women don't have a great time either. There are plenty of players, predators that mislead women too.

 

Your smart woman, but this not the case with all men. I was looking for love in all the wrong places. With two many faces. Men and women all have their own agenda online.

[Myasylum]

I just refuse to chase, and it seems like you have to in order to "win the prize". If you don't chase they'll just pick one of the other 99 options out there.

 

To me... if they say, I'll call/text tomorrow, they'd better... or It's done. I realize I'm on the short end of that stick, but give a little respect here people and simply follow through.

[Romantic_Antics]

I always referred to online dating sites as a meat market. The best looking people get the most attention, profiles are frequently not even read, and women who are not at all out of your league will ignore you in favor of pursuing the guy with the 6-pack abs and his shirt off in half his pictures. I'm a pretty good looking man, but I'm not *that* guy, so I did get tons of dates, but very often it was not with the women I was most interested in. I knew that if I'd met them in real life I would've easily got their phone number and a date, but on a site that promotes window shopping I frequently lost out. Frustratingly and almost inexplicably so.

 

Out of all those dates, the majority of them were one night stands and the most lasting relationship I got out of it only lasted for 9 months. To be fair, that particular woman would've been my wife (we'd talked about it and were living together), but a bunch of inconceivably unlucky events transpired in both of our lives, at the same time, culminating in her law firm forcing her to relocate to a different state while I had work commitments that left me rooted in place. **** happens.

 

That was the only legitimate relationship I had in 4 years of using an OLD and the overall experience was pretty frustrating. It was quantity over quality and that's not what I was looking for.

[coolheadal]

I just refuse to chase, and it seems like you have to in order to "win the prize". If you don't chase they'll just pick one of the other 99 options out there.

 

To me... if they say, I'll call/text tomorrow, they'd better... or It's done. I realize I'm on the short end of that stick, but give a little respect here people and simply follow through.

 

Doesn't work like this for us men. You just don't know who your talking to online and if you can get them on the telephone then you do realize who it is. Text is out and never enjoyed that method.

[Romantic_Antics]

@ coolheadal

 

There's actually nothing wrong with Myasylum's stance on holding them accountable to a commitment they make or they get the boot. I just recently broke things off with a gal who not only had me initiate everything, but also wrote checks with her mouth that her ass couldn't cash. I tried to be forgiving because she does have kids, but how many times should I allow a woman to tell me she's going to call or text and then not follow through? For me it was as many licks as it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. 3, if you remember the old commercial with the owl.

 

She was very confusing because when we were together or talking she gave every indication she was highly interested, from complimenting me to laughing at all of the funny things I said, even when it was pure cheese, but when we weren't together or talking it was like I ceased to exist. I even put her to the test by not texting her or calling her for a week and did she take the initiative to do so during that time frame? Nope. Just like I predicted. When I finally reached back out she said she would call, but she didn't. She got the axe and I frankly should've given her the axe sooner.

 

If somebody says they're going to do something, they better do it. If something comes up, they better at least have the courtesy to shoot you a quick text to let you know and not just leave you hanging. It's basic human decency and courtesy - and it's sadly not all that common any longer in the modern dating landscape.

[mortensorchid]

Oh Lord … Welcome to the world of online dating. For these reasons I am DONE in all caps with it. About 75% of the time people just talk "hi how are you" messages to each other, then go poof. Or you will meet maybe 10-15% of the people you actually interact with on the site/app, and then you walk away and you never hear a word from that person again after a text or two.

 

But hey, think of it as a product. I was saying to a friend not too long ago that OLD sites are like certain products that are marketed to do one thing for you but when you actually try them out you find out they are not like they're cracked up to be (ex. tooth whitening strips). They market them in that this is where you will meet THE ONE, but … You don't. And whatever you do, don't do eHarmony. It's an expensive way to talk to people.

[Purrrfect]

There are a lot of flakes online. Why? Because it’s free and easy to make a profile. Some attention seekers. Some cheaters. Some liars. Some wanna be Instagram models

 

Stick to slightly older and you may find someone more legit.

 

A lot of scammers and hookets online. Do before you get your hopes up on someone before they are legit, local, and want to meet.

 

Make the first date short like for coffee or something. Then if there’s mutual interest take her out on a “ real” date.

 

Btw you mentioned the fruit and vegetable aisle in the grocery store. May I suggest the feminine hygiene aisle? Kidding!!

 

Good luck.

[coolheadal]

@ coolheadal

 

There's actually nothing wrong with Myasylum's stance on holding them accountable to a commitment they make or they get the boot. I just recently broke things off with a gal who not only had me initiate everything, but also wrote checks with her mouth that her ass couldn't cash. I tried to be forgiving because she does have kids, but how many times should I allow a woman to tell me she's going to call or text and then not follow through? For me it was as many licks as it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. 3, if you remember the old commercial with the owl.

 

She was very confusing because when we were together or talking she gave every indication she was highly interested, from complimenting me to laughing at all of the funny things I said, even when it was pure cheese, but when we weren't together or talking it was like I ceased to exist. I even put her to the test by not texting her or calling her for a week and did she take the initiative to do so during that time frame? Nope. Just like I predicted. When I finally reached back out she said she would call, but she didn't. She got the axe and I frankly should've given her the axe sooner.

 

If somebody says they're going to do something, they better do it. If something comes up, they better at least have the courtesy to shoot you a quick text to let you know and not just leave you hanging. It's basic human decency and courtesy - and it's sadly not all that common any longer in the modern dating landscape.

 

You had mention kids so you had a woman who had kids which will take up more of her time than to text you back like she had promised. Can't depend on her or anyone with kids because the kid will come first you come second. You have to decide to take out the ax sooner or later. I am like you they better tell me he truth and not play head games. I do not want that in my life it's my life and no one else. But your going to do what it takes to get to the center of the toostie roll a 1, a 2, or a 3. yeah I know that one too. Like Charlie say's love that good'n' plenty.. LOL

[Chilli]

l'm no expert with them l only went on one for a short stint when something was suppose to be over but in the end it wasn't so l left the site again soon after.

But you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see how it all works and it's all over the forums too males and females.

 

Nos has the right idea though and that's how l used it when l was on mine and l also met some good women l wouldn't have met otherwise once l got the hang of things.

Personally l think if you use them the way he's talked about there's a fair chance you just might meet someone very worthwhile and who knows.

 

You soon discovered tricks on my site to weed out the crap and figure out what someone you were interested in was even doing on the site first. if she was just chatting on there non stop and bs or seriously looking for a partner, when she was on , if she checks you out , all kinds of things before you even bothered wasting time, or not. If you were interested there were even ways of getting her attention first so that when you did contact her she was already well aware and you could see probably interested too and so she'd usually answer. It had some good tricks that place haha.

 

Ha, might even end up back on it soon as things my end have de'f gone south for good now sooo, who knows.

Edited May 27, 2018 by Chilli

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have had a horrible time on it. Yes, there are options but only poor quality ones.

 

1. Men that just got out of LTR/marriage/still married/in love with a friend etc and make a profile in attempts to get over it. They will love bomb and play you and are not genuine.

 

2. The ultimate undesirables. These are bitter men that got rejected all their lives and are usually mid 30s with never having had a gf..

 

I am genuine but can't say the same for 99% men unless they belong in category 2 (I have never been even remotely attracted to someone in that category).

 

So yeah, I deleted all my profiles few months back and gave up. There is this common misconception that women are looking "for someone better". Most of us hate OLD and can't wait to GTFO of there