Sudden outburst

[Jadedbyluv]

So I went through a rough break up last year. Didn’t have any desire to date and just focused on myself for awhile. Went on a grand adventure for two weeks to really do some soul searching. It was really a great way to finally move forward and find myself again.

 

After I came back, I decided to try my hand at dating again. Tried online dating again with the same old apps that I always use. I always say I won’t go back but I always end up swiping again. I really tried to remain optimistic with no real expectations. This is my most recent experience with some details shortened for time.

 

I went on one date which just happened to occur because me and the guy were serendipitously at the same bar at the same time. We hit it off swimmingly with a great connection. Didn’t expect the night to go that well and we even ended the night with an amazing kiss. Following that night, this guy was in constant communication via text and telling me all sorts of things. Came across a little clingy and needy but tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Forgot to text him back one night bc I had fallen asleep early and he was mildly annoyed and told me he was rather upset. Brushed it off.

 

So we are on our second date if you can call it that. It’s rather an exteded date and we end up spending most of the weekend together. Ends up introducing me to his kids which made me wary and I told him this. So at the end of the night, I thought things were still going well when he goes off on me. Telling me the weekend was a huge mistake and should have never brought me around his kids. There was no reason as to why he suddenly erupted at me and i still don’t know what caused the outburst. I don’t know why i sat there but he berated me for an hour. Then the next day sends me a diatribe of texts telling me how crappy of a person I was. Being me, i told him i was sorry how things ended and wished him the best. Then he told me he was blocking me. Good riddance. I should have blocked him the moment I left.

 

Seriously, the whole thing was unwarranted and scary. Never in my life have I ever experienced anything like that. I thought he was going to physically attack me near the end of it all before i finally left. I really didn’t do anything at all yet I still feel bad about how it all went down. He attacked my character and who I was when he honestly doesn’t even know me all that well.

 

Anybody ever experience something like that? It was a complete 180 from how most of the weekend went. I still don’t understand what causes him to freak out on me.

[Gaeta]

I don't think it's important to understand why this man, who's practically a stranger, did this to you.

 

 

 

What is more important is to understand why you gave him a chance when he became cligny then you gave him a second chance when he became accusative over a text AND you let him humiliate you for 1 hour??

 

 

This incident is a great opportunity for you to do some self introspection before you go back out there to find another man to date. You must not allow this again.

[smackie9]

This guy is messed up in the head....no other analysis needed.

 

 

 

Next time, leave immediately, not an hour later. It could have escalated to violence, thank god it didn't and you are alright.

 

 

 

Your gut was screaming at you all along. If it doesn't feel right, it's not.

 

 

I know, and I know we all do this, give someone the benefit of a doubt. Time to scrap that.

[preraph]

You need to sit down and make yourself a rule list of things that aren't acceptable and that you should reject a guy for.

 

First is him getting uppity because you didn't text him back right away after you'd just met him. He's already acting like he owns you right after meeting you. Red flag.

 

Next is why you'd sit and let a guy who's a virtual stranger go off on you for even 5 seconds is beyond me, so make a note about that. Guys are no their best behavior in the early stages of dating before you even see their bad sides. So Lord only knows what his worst side is. Get up and leave at the first verbal abuse.

 

You're right, he shouldn't have introduced you to his kids. Maybe he's desperate for someone to babysit them when he has custody so they don't mess with his schedule, who knows, but under no circumstances is it okay to meet the kids that soon.

 

Seriously, you're too tolerant. You'll attract bad people being too tolerant. They'll hang around because you are the only one who lets them.

 

Make some rules and stick by them so you can filter in a better class of men. Good luck.

[Lotsgoingon]

Amen to all the above.

 

You don't do a weekend-long date with someone you don't really know.

 

You don't do a weekend-long second date ... unless you're in a romantic movie and you're in Paris and returning to America in three days ... and he's from Germany ... about to fly back home in 5 days.

 

But that's one of those time-limited encounters ... it's not building a relationship ...

 

You ran lots of red lights at about 120 mph ... Slow down ...

 

Oh ... new rule for you: don't give someone a benefit of the doubt on clingy Ok? ... If clingy comes to your mind whatever--for a micro-second--so early on (when we don't really want to notice clingy) that means there's a lot of clingy coming across the radar.

 

And he got "rather upset" that you fell asleep.

 

Translation: he's insecure, doesn't have a life ... is needy and manipulative. Also a sign that he's controlling ... and right away he's getting you on the defensive ... when you've done absolutely nothing wrong.

 

Benefit of the doubt is something that a person earns over time. A stranger approaches you late a night carrying a baseball bat, you don't give them the benefit of the doubt. You stop, change directions and get away ... even if this person is just coming from a baseball game.

 

We all learn. Hang in there.

[Romantic_Antics]

He sounds insecure and very needy. He viewed you "forgetting to text him" as rejection and he also viewed you telling him you were wary of meeting his kids so soon as rejection. However, perceived rejection is no excuse for someone to have an angry and insulting outburst so I'd guess that in addition to being insecure he might have anger issues or that possibly even alcohol or drugs were involved. Regardless of the true culprit behind his outburst, you did nothing to deserve that kind of treatment.

 

I know it sucks and blind-sided you after the way the two of you initially hit it off, but these are his true colors and they're not pretty. Stay away from this one. For your sake I hope he doesn't turn into the angry stalker type.

[mortensorchid]

I don't care what his reasons are/are not based on the behaviors, he's not someone you want to be involved with by any means. Sounds bipolar or something. Cut the cord and walk away.