dynamite Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 hey, so I entered myself into a slippery road with a friend. she's a good friend of mine, and we've been playing in a band together for 2 years. we started seeing eachother after breaking up with our exes. it happened quickly. then we took some time off from eachother to re-access and not jump straight into another relationship. that was about 7months ago. 3 months ago we started seeing eachother intimately again. I think I've fallen in love. I'm stupid. we hang out every weekend now, where as when we were just friends we'd only hangout for the occasional jam or to write music. we talk all the time, and it's typically her texting me first. but we still go on dates with other people. I've told her that I would like to date her, but wouldn't want to unless it comes naturally. and it feels pretty natural, but she enjoys being independent, and honestly I do too, but I really like her and care a lot. she relies on me to help her make music, and it's her passion. I don't wish to stop making music with her, but I'm finding myself in a catch 22, because I don't want to go on dates with anyone else anymore... it's just not of my interest when she's in my life, and I could continue dating to play the jealousy game or whatever, but I don't want to play games with her or confuse anyone else. so what started off friendly is now becoming tricky, because I can't casually date her while being in a band with her. do I leave the band and take some time off from her and then try to reconnect again so that I can make an attempt at actually dating her? do I stick with it and give her time to decide? basically I feel friend-zoned, but it's like a romantic friend-zone... is that even a thing? lol Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Alas it appears that the lady does not want an exclusive relationship with you. So the Q becomes what can you deal with -- the FWB thing you have going on or trying to repair the friendship & only make actual music together not "music ;)" ? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 I think you need to tell her you're falling for her. I think the best way to do that is write her a song to let her know. Then play it for her when you're alone. "This is for you." See what she says. Tell her you're falling for her. Band romances are always tricky. For one thing, it's usually best the fans don't know. And if she agrees to be with you, let the band know right away in case one of them was just about to step up and also go after her. Which will happen. And then you'll have a mess. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts