max3732 Posted May 24, 2018 Share Posted May 24, 2018 I went out with someone for the 1st time in a while and we had a wonderful conversation with no awkward pauses and I'm really impressed with her career and intellect and could picture talking to her for a long time. That being said there was a problem which was that I just didn't find her face particularly attractive because her nose was too long and I don't know if it was bad makeup or whatever but the complexion on her face seemed off. Typing that makes me feel like I'm saying something wrong, but that's how I felt. Otherwise I really enjoyed spending time with her. Is this something you'd get used to over time or if it bothers me now is it something that would bother me forever so I'm better off not contacting her again? I don't want to waste either of our time. Aside from him saying he doesn't have a job this basically sums up how I feel: Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Go out with her again. I have a big nose and guys who liked me somehow got over it. Big noses aren't necessarily bad noses. You may get used to it. If not, your dating pool may be pretty limited. Everyone has something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Give her another chance. I think you could get over it for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 The size of an individual's nose should not determine who you chose/don't chose for a life partner. There are so many more important things to consider... Nobody is perfect. If you get hung up on the superficial things that you can not change and matter not in terms of the quality of the person you are dating, then you will be single for a very long time... If you enjoyed her company, go out with her again... When searching for a life partner, it is important to chose someone who is a good conversationalist, who makes you laugh, and with whom you enjoy spending time... Looks will fade with age. When you are old and grey, sitting on the porch in a rocking chair with your wife, what will matter is that you have someone with whom you can talk, laugh, and enjoy life. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 If you enjoyed her company, go out with her again... Yeah...the brain is the biggest sexual organ so once the brain winds up you may find yourself in a totally different position than you are now... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Yeah, go out again ... You will know probably after one or two more meetings if you can find her attractive ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
girlinNYC Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 You are not mature enough to date if the size of someone's nose is a distraction from her seemingly good personality. Looks fade, what's inside remains. Everyone has a physical 'flaw' in one way or another. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lurker74 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 You are not mature enough to date if the size of someone's nose is a distraction from her seemingly good personality. Looks fade, what's inside remains. Everyone has a physical 'flaw' in one way or another. I don't think it's a maturity issue - that is unfair. You cannot control attraction. It's either there or it isn't, and the nose might just be the brain's way of identifying why it's not there. The limbic system (our "lizard" brain) controls attraction and it has no words or logic...just emotion and feeling. The neo-cortex (our modern brain) has little feeling or emotion. So he limbic system is saying "nah" and his neo-cortex is saying, "it's probably the nose." Now, OP, the great news is that both systems are adaptable. You hear it all the time that people grow more attracted to someone as they like them more. When this happens, the limbic system starts to feel things and the neo-cortex starts to give up control. This can be great (being attracted to the person rather than the look) or bad (being attracted to jerks). But it can happen. I dated a nurse once that was, to be honest, homely. It might have helped that her body was easily the best body of anyone I had been with until that point but her face was definitely distracting in a negative way. But I loved her personality and we clicked. Plus, when we were making out, my eyes were closed. She ended up moving overseas and we amicably ended it after just a few weeks but I could have seen being with her longer because I started to think she was prettier. Now, separated for a long while, when i see pictures of her again, I am surprised by how much I think her face was not attractive. But I think this is a good story...I became more attracted to someone to whom I was not initially attracted. No, don't waste her time, but also don't ignore that you got along so well and move on to a prettier woman with whom you do not get along as well either. In other words, give it another try. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 The reason why you are so picky about her nose is that you’re fundamentally not attracted to her. If you were, you might find her imperfect nose endearing. That said, I agree that you should give it one more chance. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 You are attracted to what you are attracted to, and you are turned off by what you find unattractive. It's normal to make small things seem like deal breakers. I'm notorious for this...there are certain things that turn me off because it's just the way I am. Now there is a 50/50 chance you will get over this but that will be up to you and time. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Give it a try. Sometimes you need to get used to people's faces until you start finding them attractive. I used to think that Sarah Jessica Parker (when she was younger) had a very ugly, long nose. But at some point I realised that it isn't ugly at all and her nose is perfectly fine, even interesting and makes her face so unique. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Indeed, give it another date or two. If you still aren't attracted, then break it off. Attraction can't be forced, and in the early stages is essential to form a bond. Once the bond is there and strong, appearance becomes less important - and we all suffer the ravages of time. But, don't fall into the trap of thinking that appearance should not matter in the beginning, if it actually matters to YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
ItsJustMyOpinion Posted May 25, 2018 Share Posted May 25, 2018 Your appearance is what starts a relationship. Your personality is what fuels a relationship. Your issues are what ends a relationship. If you skipped step 1 because you found a woman who has an AMAZING personality, you're ahead of the game. Link to post Share on other sites
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