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Low interest or hard to get?


2005tahoe

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I started talking to a girl a few weeks ago, met her online. We had our first date last Saturday, took her flowers and met her at a local steakhouse. Great conversation, no awkward moments and things flowed. We finished up dinner and decided to just walk the local strip mall as it was late at night. Not more than 3 minutes after walking out of the restaurant she asks me if she can hold my hand, I agreed. this was a nice surprise.

 

We found a bench in a nice area away from everything and talked for a bit, I moved in to kiss her and she kissed me back, she told me that when we first started talking that she didn't kiss on the first date. After that kiss and some making out she couldn't keep her hands off of me. she would rub my arms, my legs and eventually the manhood. I also had my hands all over her too.

 

Eventually we had to head home, I let her suggest when she needed to leave. I walked her to her car and we didn't want to leave each other, so we walked around some more and found another bench for another makeout session. Things went great, we agreed to see each other again this coming weekend.

 

We agreed that we would hide our online dating profiles, but I have seen her on there since then, my profile is hidden.

 

 

But her communication hasn't been a lot, I would text her and wait for her to respond, sometimes it would be 12+ hours. I wont send a double text, I don't want to come across as needy. But she would send one like "must've been a busy day" The night before I told her that I was dozing off and asked if she would text me in the morning, no answer. Then last night she sent "getting ready for bed, I haven't heard from you today, everything ok?" I sent back, yes, I haven't heard from you either. Later on I sent her one that I was heading to bed and to have a goodnight, she usually tells me goodnight too, nothing, crickets!

 

I don't know how to read her, thoughts?

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CautiouslyOptimistic

It sounds like just a communication issue to me. Maybe one of you is having phone trouble and not getting each other's texts? How about calling her instead of texting?

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We are Thursday it's time for you to come up with date #2 invitation. It's hard to assess people over text and you risk misjudging her big time. If I had judged my boyfriend on his texting skills when we met we wouldn't be together for a couple of years now. So there is no confusion with setting up the next date call her to make arrangement.

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We are Thursday it's time for you to come up with date #2 invitation. It's hard to assess people over text and you risk misjudging her big time. If I had judged my boyfriend on his texting skills when we met we wouldn't be together for a couple of years now. So there is no confusion with setting up the next date call her to make arrangement.

 

 

 

We have a date planned already for this Saturday night. We planned it at the end of the first date. Maybe I am just over analyzing the testing, I just thought that if she liked me then she would be more talkative.

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We have a date planned already for this Saturday night. We planned it at the end of the first date. Maybe I am just over analyzing the testing, I just thought that if she liked me then she would be more talkative.

 

 

Maybe she is not new to online dating and she knows it's better to not overdo it at the beginning, or maybe she doesn't enjoy text conversations. It's too soon to judge her on this. The 3 first dates will tell you if there is a genuine interest, there is no shortcuts to it.

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Stop texting. Too easy to get timing off and too easy to misread. Call her. Don't do it all the time. Call her a couple times a week and ask her out.

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Lotsgoingon

Agree with above.

 

Dude, pick up the phone and call her and hear her voice and find out what's going on ...

 

You guys are in the middle of a comedy skit right now ... can't tell if there is miscommunication and mis-timing or if she's ducking you ..

 

Pick up the phone ... and you can find out.

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Interstellar

She’s playing hard to get too.

 

Yeah, just call her but keep it short. Always keep it light and funny.

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MaleIntuition

You have a date planned. Don’t call her. Save the conversation for the date instead.

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You have a date planned. Don’t call her. Save the conversation for the date instead.

 

 

 

What confuses me is that if I don't text her I get the "I haven't heard from you all day, everything ok?" then I feel bad for not reaching out. She stays busy at work, so calling her is out of the question during the day.

 

 

I still see her on match and it makes me feel bad that shes still keeping her options open, I keep telling myself that were not committed yet.

 

 

Thoughts?

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We have a date for tomorrow night and I mentioned coming back to my place and having a drink, but she said it was too soon for that, I was hoping to have sex with her but I don't know how I can if we cant come back to my place and relax.

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When she said it was too early to come back to your place for a drink she knew darn well that you were hoping for sex. Hence she said it's too early.

 

Enjoy your date on Saturday. Stop freaking out over the pace of the texts & get to know her through spending time with her talking.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
We have a date for tomorrow night and I mentioned coming back to my place and having a drink, but she said it was too soon for that, I was hoping to have sex with her but I don't know how I can if we cant come back to my place and relax.

 

Oh my. Perhaps she's picking up on this desperation and doesn't want to be just a body.

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Oh my. Perhaps she's picking up on this desperation and doesn't want to be just a body.

 

 

I agree with that, I will tone it down and let her set the pace.

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you have to go out with her again to ascertain what her deal is.

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you have to go out with her again to ascertain what her deal is.

 

 

 

We are going out tomorrow night, any ideas for a second date? She want to go to this store and pick up a dessert wine that she has been wanting.

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We are going out tomorrow night, any ideas for a second date? She want to go to this store and pick up a dessert wine that she has been wanting.

 

whatever you do keep it low key...and no sex

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whatever you do keep it low key...and no sex

 

 

 

Sounds good, I want whatever we do to be like last week, it just flowed.

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