Not sure what to make of this

[babysacay]

I met a guy about 3 and a half weeks ago during a weekend with my brother and a mutual friend. He's 23 and I'm 27; we live a couple of states away so we've only been on 2 dates so far but have been in contact daily since meeting until this week, when we didn't talk at all Monday or Wednesday. For the second date, he asked about it a week and a half in advance and this past Sunday, he asked to visit me this weekend. So I'm not really sure what to make of us not talking for a couple days this week, since he asked about seeing each other so far in advance. He did reply to my texts Tuesday when I sent him pics of my new car but there have been 2 days of no communication, though he posts Snapchat stories.

 

Is this my insecurity speaking or is it possible he lost some interest? I can't think of anything that I did after Sunday that would have made him lose interest. Maybe he just changed his mind?

[Gaeta]

At the very beginning of a relationship, when it's not even a relationship yet, it's normal to skip a day or a couple of days of texting/talking. It's actually beneficial for the both of you. It makes you miss each other more and makes you look forward even more to the next time you'll visit.

 

 

 

Too much too fast is a the big enemy of new relationships.

 

 

 

Let it unfold without forcing it. What will be - will be. If this man isn't the one it's because something/someone better is waiting for you.

[smackie9]

He keeps asking you for dates...that's an indication he has interest.

 

 

 

Now if you start to see each other a lot more, and he stops texting or keeping in touch between seeing each other, there's a chance of incompatibility.

 

 

 

I am the type that likes daily communication even if it's short and simple...I do like spontaneous texts. If I was single and dating again and wasn't getting my daily dose of something funny or just to see how my day was, that would be a dealbreaker for me.

[babysacay]

He (let's call him A) said that he was thinking about the distance which I find hard to understand, because if I really like someone, I'm always willing to work through distance. I thought this meant lack of interest but our mutual friend said that A was talking about me just a couple days ago and definitely really likes me (this mutual friend has known me longer, I've known him for over a decade so I trust him). The mutual friend even said that this is confusing.

 

I don't get it. I'm not getting my hopes up and even wish that A hadn't told anyone about us talking and seeing each other. I personally wanted to keep it on the down-low in case it didn't work out but A told people about us lol

[babysacay]

And I recognize logically that it's no big deal because it was so short and we never went to bed together. I think it just hurts a lot because I've had SOOOO many failed dating experiences and I'm tired of getting rejected. I feel like if I hadn't had so many failed experiences, then I wouldn't be feeling as upset about this as I am right now.

[Gaeta]

He (let's call him A) said that he was thinking about the distance which I find hard to understand, because if I really like someone, I'm always willing to work through distance.

 

 

That's how YOU feel about distance, not everyone does. I would not deal with distance. I may have liked the guy very much on our 1st date and imagine I could deal with the distance but a couple of days of thinking would have brought my feet back on the ground. He is 23 years old only, he wants to date and have fun not deal with long distance. He's too young for that.

[mortensorchid]

He indicated that he's interested, but proceed with caution for LDRs. I have been in 2 in my lifetime, I did one the wrong way the first time and did the second the right way the second time. Remember this:

 

1) If he always has a reason/excuse as to why he CAN'T see you or visit you, that means he wants to keep it casual and has no intention of coming to see you. If he's a wimp and breaks it off via email (like the wrong one did the first time), he is cowardly and not worth your time. One visit does NOT MAKE FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP, to be sure, but it's a courtesy that he can extend to you.

 

2) If he is interested and coming to see you (which he seems to be) remember that if you are not seeing each other at least once a month you will do a lot of fantasizing. And when you are together, you are in this big rush to have sex or squeeze in as much fun as possible. That ends up fueling the fantasy even more.

 

LDRs can work for some people, but there is usually an ulterior motive. I knew of two other people who were in LDRs - One guy met a woman online who lived in CA and married her. Another woman met this guy on the rebound after her LTR broke up, after six months she quit her job and moved in with him. In both cases, the women noted were users. Both of them used the men in order to get themselves settled in a new state. And both of them are divorced from those men today.

 

After the second one, I said never again and have stuck to that policy. It's not a good thing until one decides to commit and ... One usually will not commit.