Eveam Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 My partner last night said he wishes he had had sex with a "ten out of ten" before we got together. Oh but I'm very nice. He went on to say that he knows he's not an Adonis but he had thought women would not be so shallow, as he has a good degree. Now, I have no illusions that I am a super model, but I found this comment very offensive in several ways. Thisnis just downright rude to say to your girl, even if you are thinking it. It is ridiculously hypocritical! Very shallow attitude. And immature!! Who rates women on a scale like that? And it makes me wonder what he rates me!!! He is mostly a very nice guy, but sometimes I get glimpses of this superior attitude, as though he is entitled to women for some unknown reason! Just as some background he has very little experience with women, and I very much doubt any 'ten out of tens' are lining up for him. This made me furious! I have spoken to a friend about it and she very much agreed with me. But her partner didn't think it was so bad. Could I be overreacting? He was apologetic when I told him it upset me. But it just seems to be an attitude of his.. possibly a deal breaker for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 Who rates women on a scale like that? Um, all men. I'd feel the same way as you. Ick! He should never have said to you! I think you should have said, "Hmmm, yeah I know what you mean. I wish I'd have had sex with someone very well hung." 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Kellens Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 Wow, he sounds awful! There's no way that I'd be able to be with someone like that. CautiouslyOptimistic is right, you should have made a comment about wishing that you would have had a guy who was a 10/10 in the bedroom.. I would have loved to hear about his reaction to that! I have met guys like this who think that they are entitled to beautiful women because they have an inflated amount of self worth. Unfortunately they are delusional and have probably been told how great they are by their families their whole life and are incapable of being self aware. Ughhh, these guys are the worst.. and usually bad in bed Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 Um, all men. I'd feel the same way as you. Ick! He should never have said to you! I think you should have said, "Hmmm, yeah I know what you mean. I wish I'd have had sex with someone very well hung." My dear not all men are like this I am not.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 My partner last night said he wishes he had had sex with a "ten out of ten" before we got together. Oh but I'm very nice. He went on to say that he knows he's not an Adonis but he had thought women would not be so shallow, as he has a good degree. Now, I have no illusions that I am a super model, but I found this comment very offensive in several ways. Thisnis just downright rude to say to your girl, even if you are thinking it. It is ridiculously hypocritical! Very shallow attitude. And immature!! Who rates women on a scale like that? And it makes me wonder what he rates me!!! He is mostly a very nice guy, but sometimes I get glimpses of this superior attitude, as though he is entitled to women for some unknown reason! Just as some background he has very little experience with women, and I very much doubt any 'ten out of tens' are lining up for him. This made me furious! I have spoken to a friend about it and she very much agreed with me. But her partner didn't think it was so bad. Could I be overreacting? He was apologetic when I told him it upset me. But it just seems to be an attitude of his.. possibly a deal breaker for me. Your partner put his foot before his mouth. Why didn't just get up and leave him to be? Why allow yourself to be put in that situation he has place you in. As a man myself I can't comment on why he said that but, being well educated and coming from parents who stuck together from marriage to the end, I see things much more clearly. We men shouldn't rate women we're dating at all. If you two like, love and are in love then nothing else matters but you two. But if your don't feel like things are going this way with all 3 aspects of love then he's going to pull you down even worst than this. I am me your are you don't let them put you down or rate you like a number. Love is not a number it's spiritual feeling of blessed love! I don't want to sound too religious but I feel different but love and dating.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 Just as some background he has very little experience with women. Gee, what a surprise. I mean he sounds like he is an excellent communicator and so self aware. I can't believe he doesn't much luck with women I disagree with the tit for tat stuff... eye for an eye does not work in relationships. Don't try to hurt him because he hurt you, get REAL with him, communicate with him. "Are you saying you settled by getting with me?" "Are you saying you could do better than me?" "Are you saying that I am not as attractive as what you want?" "Are you saying you rate me against other women?" "Are you saying you have a degree, so women more attractive than me should want you? Because when you say that, that is what I hear. Is that what you mean to tell me? Why would you say that to me? What did you think my reaction would be? Why did you think that is something you should say, or would be okay to say to me? I would be curious to hear what his response would be. WHY did he say that, and what did he think would be the consequence? I would further tell him how those words made you feel. He needs to realize the things he says has an impact on you. He sounds clueless. How does he do socially? Have a lot of friends? Does he communicate well? Because he sounds pretty tone deaf. Someone would seriously lack self awareness or basic social norms to say such a thing. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 Augh . . .he sounds like a . . . guy. You can't really fault him for thinking it. He was totally wrong to say it. It would have been a better discussion for one of his buddies outside of your ear shot. Immaturity thy name is young BF. In that moment I probably would have said something snarky like "You know I can easily arrange for you to be a single free man again if that is what you want," accompanied by a cautionary glare. Now that the moment is passed, you kinda have to let it go. If he says nonsense like this again, of course call him out right there but for now assume he was just spouting & preening his feathers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 No, you're not overreacting. I think that would make me fall out of love with the guy. I just can't sweep crap like that under the rug. The worst of it is he's calling WOMEN shallow, when he's the one who's shallow. He thought he was going to get a 10 because he has a degree?????? There's not that many 10s in the world compared to people with degrees. He is not only obnoxiously entitled, but seriously deluded. Men just don't get that a woman needs respect and needs to feel someone loves her above all others, including random 10s on the street!@! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 I've had thoughts similar to the OP's boyfriend. I would never voice them to a girlfriend though. As for rating people, almost everyone does it to some extent or another. For men, the 1-10 scale is common. For women, it's more of a yes/maybe/no rating system. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 There could be another explanation... Bear in mind...I mean no offense to the OP..>None of us knows the real story...or whats brewing in this guys head...So I offer my apologies in advance if off base.. Being a guy myself, and being around guys for as long as I have, if there is one topic that seems to always come up is that their wives/gf's tend to gain weight or no longer pay as much attention to their appearance as they once did(perhaps when they were on the hunt for a man)...I even know a guy that has a saying that "whatever a woman looks like when you first meet her is as good as she's ever going to look"... The end result is that these guys get down and really don't know how to handle it...If you take the direct approach, it will certainly blow up in your face and you will crush her spirit...If you do nothing, then it just seems to continue on... So what do you do? You love the person, and don;t want it to be a deal breaker, but how do you let them know its bothering you without telling them directly? You see...Its easy for a woman to tell a guy he's getting fat, or he's unkempt....In most cases it won't bother him and he will likely make changes....For women...its just not that easy... So these guys employ these little tactics....Drop little bombs...Without directly referencing his gf, he's indirectly making his desires in what he wants in a woman known...And perhaps its some sort of "wake up call"....he may see some woman on TV and make a comment on her body....these types of little things... Again...This could be off...he could just be a garden variety dick with no tact....But do not discount what I posted....Its absolutely real...And could be the real reason... The crazy part is usually these tactics don't work either.... Just a thought... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 I think you should dump him 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 He has a narsistic personality and is very narrow minded. He has no substance. Dump this chump. Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 Please leave him before he decides he is stuck like this dude over here I encourage you to read his story and have the answer you need. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/656664-should-i-end-relationship-i-m-so-stuck Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 Meanwhile, he's at least as stupid as he is shallow. Just sayin. Link to post Share on other sites
bachdude Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 What an idiotic thing to say to you. Seriously. I’d be the first to admit that guys think a lot about sex but that comment deserved a glass of water in the face, a slap, a gathering of your things, and a walk out the door. Link to post Share on other sites
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