Totally Rejected. I'm hideous.

[smelltheroses]

I hate the way i look in photographs. I have a very angular face and I am not conventionally pretty and I look awkward so I don’t like taking pictures very often. I’m interested in a guy and make sure I’m very cautious with what pictures I send him (making sure they’re flattering) and he always compliments me, saying I’m so beautiful etc.

 

I went out with friends last night and I sent him two pictures, which were more candid and less forced / planned. I thought I looked pretty in them, and sent them. he didn’t say i was hot or beautiful like usual. he said “you look great in both of those photos!”

 

well he hasn’t reached out to me today. he usually does, pretty early, via text. he’s online and hasn’t said anything. clearly he saw the unflattering hideous version of me and lost all interest. i’m not sure what to do, i feel so rejected and my ego has been blown. now i can’t stop looking at the pic and seeing that my legs look bigger than they used to and i don’t have a feminine face and my hair looks weird… what a mistake that i sent those.

 

I think I look better in person than in photos. I know I have very little self esteem. I’m constantly comparing myself to other women and wonder why anyone would ever like me when there’s so many beautiful women out there. I’m nothing special and never will be. I was excited about this guy because he genuinely found me attractive, even in my photos (that I’m super self conscious about) and wanted to talk to me. Now that I messed up and sent him a picture where he can analyze how my legs look or how weird my face looks or how ugly I am compared to my friends he’s probably changed his mind about me. I feel so useless.

 

do you guys have any advice for me? i feel hopeless.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

He said you looked great, though. Maybe he's having a busy day?

[Romantic_Antics]

I think you're being much too hard on yourself and also over-analyzing the situation.

 

If he already told you that he thinks you're beautiful and you've continued to send him pictures, he might be starting to sense that you're insecure and fishing for compliments and approval. That can be a turn off more than anything you think your looks might do. The fact is, he still replied and said you looked great. That's a compliment, and if he's already said you looked hot and beautiful it could be that he's just trying to say something different instead of repeating the same compliments. Now you're interpreting his silence this morning as a sign that he suddenly thinks a woman he's told is beautiful, hot, and looks great is unattractive. Think about that for a moment and you'll realize how silly it is. You have no idea what he's thinking or doing, but don't assume the worst.

 

Have you gone on any dates? How's the chemistry? Do you enjoy each other's company? Those are the things you should focus on. Remember that your true beauty comes from who you are as a person, how you treat others, and how you make them feel when you're around them.

 

Work on your self-esteem and learn to love yourself more. That'll make you a better lover, a better person, and a more beautiful one. And you *are* beautiful, because you are unique and there is nobody else exactly like you anywhere on this Earth. Think about that one and give yourself a hug.

[preraph]

Stop baiting him for compliments by sending him more and more photos. He has to scale back the compliments because it's getting too forced now. Stop sending him photos and setting yourself up to get all insecure about yourself. You'll run him off by being so insecure and needy. If he thought you were hideous, he wouldn't be trying to spend time with you. HAS he spent time with you? Or is this just online stuff? Either way, you have to stop looking for validation from him constantly.

[coolheadal]

Your reading too much into this and you know it. Why think of yourself the way you do. Everyone in this world is not different than you. Don't think those you think are better or prettier than you don't have issues or hangup they do. Your very lucky woman to have a man tell you how beautiful you are. That should have put a huge smile on your face. Pictures, photo's that's what they are. No picture or photo will ever make anyone stand out as the best you can be. No you are the best you can be right now this minute and this second. You are you inside and out. Think of way you think your not prettier than the rest, but you are they are what they think they are. it's all about you, not one else can compare you looks to others. You are made to be who you are. Now stand-up and take a deep breath and same I am pretty, and I am best looking woman on this planet. . Keep repeating this each day or 3 times a day. No need to give it up just because you didn't hear back from this guy too. He might be at work or rushing to work just don't know why he was online. Stop thinking the worst okay not healthy to be like this. Stay positive and live for the now!

[d0nnivain]

Give yourself a break & stop begging for validation from some guy. It's unfair of you to dissect his vocabulary choices. He gave you a compliment. Say thank you & move on. It's not like he ignored you or said something mean.

 

 

This level of insecurity & neurosis probably makes you way more unattractive then your physical appearance which is probably just fine.

 

 

So calm down & get over yourself.

Edited May 18, 2018 by d0nnivain

[Zahara]

Advice would be to forget dating. Insecurity is unattractive. Most times guys can smell it a mile away. And seeing how you’re analyzing things to death, with your mindset, you’ll likely keep on this path and self-sabotage.

 

If you have little self-esteem, it would be best to work on that rather than date. The latter will only trigger and exacerbate your issues.

[Fair]

If it's Online Dating... I wouldn't get too excited about anyone. Most of us hang a profile there for years and stay single regardless of what we look like, and besides, I'm sure you're WAY more hard on yourself than others ever will be. In the end it's less about looks than a connection... and that's hard for everyone to find. Don't automatically rush to assume everyone sees your physical self through the eyes of your own insecurities. (Hugs)