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I did something bold the other night... not sure it’s gonna go anywhere


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I’m a female and recently have been more open and embracing to my own sexuality. Back in January, I saw this girl at the bar that I thought was really attractive but I didn’t do anything. Forgot about her and fast forward a couple of months, I stumbled across her Instagram. So the other night, I DM’d her saying that I know this is awkward and creepy and that I had never done this before, but I found her profile through the locations tag of her recent photo and I thought she was really cute and I had to say something. Told her I’d love to get dinner or drinks and gave her my number. I know this was a little forward but I wanted to get everything out on the table and make my intentions clear. Some of her previous posts seemed like she was open to same sex relationships which is why I had more confidence messaging her.

 

I didn’t expect a response at all honesty, but the next morning she wrote back on instagram sayin that it’s nice to meet me and that she would be down to hangout but the timing isn’t very good because she’s leaving in a week for 5 months to go do her field research and a different country. She then asked me if I could tell her a bit about myself. I did, and she asked more questions and I returned questions about her. After these initial message exchanges, she read my message to her and didn’t respond for like 6 hours. And after my response to her last message, around 6-7pm last night, she read it but hasn’t responded.

 

I initially thought that she may be open to things but now I’m not so sure anymore. I would like to meet her before she leaves for 5 months but I don’t want to push things if our conversation continues. If she doesn’t respond again I guess that’s ok too... she was nice and polite for even responding.

 

Thoughts?

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Let her approach you now. She isn't interested in anything at this time so you are going to have to let it go. If she contacts you again that would mean there is some potential. She may call you up to hang out when she gets back.

 

 

Another perspective is, if she was really interested, she would meet you before she leaves.

 

 

 

But the important thing is, you made a move, so hats off to your bold effort. I say just apply that again with someone else in the meantime.

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Thoughts?

 

move on. meeting people thru the internet is not ideal. you have to try to meet people IRL

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Let her approach you now. She isn't interested in anything at this time so you are going to have to let it go. If she contacts you again that would mean there is some potential. She may call you up to hang out when she gets back.

 

 

Another perspective is, if she was really interested, she would meet you before she leaves.

 

 

 

But the important thing is, you made a move, so hats off to your bold effort. I say just apply that again with someone else in the meantime.

 

Yes, I suppose there is really nothing I can do at this point. I don’t know why I’m so pulled towards her but that is making me super impatient about things but I will be ok if nothing comes out of this... I really had nothing to lose

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I feel this girl is going quiet because she's leaving for such a long time and doesn't want to get into anything just before she leaves - it might be emotionally draining for her if she does. It's nothing to do with you, just an unlucky circumstance.

 

Big kudos to you for being bold though - keep it up!

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I feel this girl is going quiet because she's leaving for such a long time and doesn't want to get into anything just before she leaves - it might be emotionally draining for her if she does. It's nothing to do with you, just an unlucky circumstance.

 

Big kudos to you for being bold though - keep it up!

 

Perhaps... she may also just not be interested haha I guess we’ll never know! I don’t plan on making contact anymore though, just gonna go with whatever happens

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I second that it's fine to be bold. But with that comes rejection at times, so you have to let it roll off your back and move on when it happens.

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I second that it's fine to be bold. But with that comes rejection at times, so you have to let it roll off your back and move on when it happens.

 

Yes, you’re right. I didn’t even expect a response from her so I don’t see this as a complete failure. I will cringe sometimes when I think back to my boldness but I don’t regret it.

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Don't feel bad. Your approach was at least more or less dignified. When I was in college and drunk at a bar, I once went up to a guy and told him if he were in a catalog, I'd order two of him. He was gay, but I didn't let that deter me....the poor guy.

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So she actually wrote back to me today. She asked how my weekend was and apologized for the late response saying that she’s not good with her phone and everything’s been crazy since she’s leaving so soon. I don’t think I’m gonna suggest meeting up especially if things are super hectic for her right now... if she suggests it, great. But if not, maybe when she gets back in 5 months we can meet up lol

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ExpatInItaly
So she actually wrote back to me today. She asked how my weekend was and apologized for the late response saying that she’s not good with her phone and everything’s been crazy since she’s leaving so soon. I don’t think I’m gonna suggest meeting up especially if things are super hectic for her right now... if she suggests it, great. But if not, maybe when she gets back in 5 months we can meet up lol

 

I agree, I would not suggest meeting right now. She is clearly very busy, evidenced by her delay just in responding to you. Trying to arrange a time to meet will likely not be feasible.

 

I would keep in touch while she is gone but not bank on regular communication. It sounds as though it's going to be a busy period for her. See if she reaches out when she's back in town.

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Not good with her phone? lol what a crock of %^&$. other excuses include "My phone broke" or "I lost my phone". *shakes head*

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Not good with her phone? lol what a crock of %^&$. other excuses include "My phone broke" or "I lost my phone". *shakes head*

 

Haha yes I normally do see this as a cop out excuse... but her parents were visiting her and she also had a family wedding to go to out of town so I know she was definitely too busy to respond over the weekend. For her to take until today to respond back though, she probably just forgot. I don’t expect me to constantly be on her mind at this stage. But yeah I’m just gonna see what happens and go with the flow

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I saw her at a bar tonight.. I felt slightly awkward. I was with my friends and she was with hers so neither of us said anything to each other but I’m almost certain she saw me too since we were sitting directly facing one another

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