Great first date, is he interested?

[JRH222]

I had my first ever good first date a couple of nights ago. I’m not a big eater and this was actually only my 4th with someone I didn’t know - this one in particular I met on the app Bumble. I was super nervous as I don’t do it often and I’m

Not the most confident or outgoing person. Had a drink before to loosen up a bit.. We met for early evening drinks, and hit it off straight away I think. He got me a drink, there were no awkward silences, we had lots to talk about and I felt like I was comfortable with him and felt confident (the drinks obviously helped here). Found that we had similar taste in music. Talked about how weird first dates from online dating are. Had a few more drinks, I got a round in (he joked that it was my turn which I actually appreciated, I think sometimes guys can be too into the idea that they have to get everything) He asked if I’d like to go somewhere else so we went down to another bar. There was a live rock band on and it was super loud so we finished our drinks and went somewhere else - on his suggestion. In this one he sat down next to me rather than across the table. I think we were on our second drink here and we were talking and he just kissed me out of nowhere. It was really nice and felt natural

Not awkward or weird. Yes we were a bit drunk (me more than him I think thanks to my drink at home) but it didn’t feel like just a drunken kids/drunken chat. I think I kissed him again and we ended up deciding to go back to his. Couldn’t find a taxi so we went into another bar. Then got a taxi. We slept together at his house... it was fun, we laughed, but it was great too. He knew I had to go back as id have to be up for work at 6.30 so after we fell asleep for a couple of hours I got a taxi home. Kissed goodbye, think we talked about seeing each other again, he said ‘text me’

 

So, I know sleeping together on a first date is frowned upon but I actually don’t agree. Both my best friends slept with their now boyfriends on first meeting/first date and are in long term relationships. Maybe we shouldn’t have but it’s done now and I enjoyed it so no regrets. Next day I’m at work super hungover and wishing he’d text me because I can’t stop thinking about him. I told my friends and they said I should do it since he’d told

Me to, waited until after work around half 5 and send a quick text saying hope you didn’t feel as rough as me at work today, thank you for the drinks and a fun evening. He replied after 20 mins saying I had fun too, it’d be nice to see you again sometime. Because I’ve not dated much and when I have I’ve had no desire to see them again (all were pretty dull and full of awkward moments) so I don’t know how to interpret that. I replied saying me too, let me know when you’re free, maybe less gin next time..

 

That was last night 8pm it’s now 10am and he hasn’t replied, I don’t know if I should expect him to or if he will just let me know when he’s free or did he just say it’d be nice to see me again to be polite but doesn’t really want to? On the night I got the feeling he liked me - I mean he kissed me first? And I don’t know, just the way he kept she contact, the fun we had back at his, the total lack of awkwardness right from the beginning. I really can’t stop thinking about him, and I want to see him again a lot. But is he interested? Like I said I’m no experienced dater so I’m not great at reading the be signs

[FilterCoffee]

Hey JRH222,

 

Congrats on the great first date and welcome to LS!

 

He replied after 20 mins saying I had fun too, it’d be nice to see you again sometime. Because I’ve not dated much and when I have I’ve had no desire to see them again (all were pretty dull and full of awkward moments) so I don’t know how to interpret that.

 

I think he’s interested in you too otherwise he wouldn’t have said this. Give it all of today and if he doesn’t say anything then send him a casual text tomorrow. It could be something you guys joked about during the date and take it from there. Don’t let your mind overthink this stuff!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

So, I know sleeping together on a first date is frowned upon but I actually don’t agree. Both my best friends slept with their now boyfriends on first meeting/first date and are in long term relationships. Maybe we shouldn’t have but it’s done now and I enjoyed it so no regrets.

 

No regrets now because you're looking at it from the mindset of it possibly leading to a relationship. If he ghosts you, trust me you will have regrets.

 

You had a LOT of alcohol.....that can really affect your judgment, not only about whether or not to have sex on a first date, but how you're interpreting his interest level. Meaning, it's hard to tell if he's interested in you as a person, or just what's in your pants.

 

I'm not saying he's for sure NOT interested, just that it's really not possible to know at this point. You're just gonna have to be patient I think.

[act00]

It's so hard to say...I have no idea. I've had this happen a couple of times, and everything seems really great, but they never get back to you. I have initiated reaching out. I top off at two. Hopefully he feels just the same as you do, but he's holding off texting so he doesn't appear too eager, needy? Not to rain on your parade, but the fact he has not initiated contact for so long does not bode well. It's really a blindside, as things seemed to go very well, but for whatever reason, he's done. I do hope he reaches out.

[JRH222]

It's so hard to say...I have no idea. I've had this happen a couple of times, and everything seems really great, but they never get back to you. I have initiated reaching out. I top off at two. Hopefully he feels just the same as you do, but he's holding off texting so he doesn't appear too eager, needy? Not to rain on your parade, but the fact he has not initiated contact for so long does not bode well. It's really a blindside, as things seemed to go very well, but for whatever reason, he's done. I do hope he reaches out.

 

I mean he did reply to me saying that it’d be nice to see me again, but hasn’t replied since last night when I said me too, let me know when you’re free.. so surely if he wasn’t interested he wouldn’t have said that? Could’ve just left it at ‘I had fun too’ or something. OR ignored my first text completely. But maybe he’s just a nice person and wanted to be polite even if he isn’t into me? Is that a thing guys do?

[JRH222]

No regrets now because you're looking at it from the mindset of it possibly leading to a relationship. If he ghosts you, trust me you will have regrets.

 

You had a LOT of alcohol.....that can really affect your judgment, not only about whether or not to have sex on a first date, but how you're interpreting his interest level. Meaning, it's hard to tell if he's interested in you as a person, or just what's in your pants.

 

I'm not saying he's for sure NOT interested, just that it's really not possible to know at this point. You're just gonna have to be patient I think.

 

I think if it doesn’t go any further I still won’t have regrets. If sleeping together on the first date means he won’t contact me, but he would have contacted me if we HADN’T slept together then surely he’s not that interested anyway? And if he has the mindset that a girl who sleeps with you on the first date is a bad sign then I think that says more about him than me (because he initiated going back to his and having sex)

[introverted1]

I had my first ever good first date a couple of nights ago. I’m not a big eater and this was actually only my 4th with someone I didn’t know - this one in particular I met on the app Bumble. I was super nervous as I don’t do it often and I’m

Not the most confident or outgoing person. Had a drink before to loosen up a bit.. We met for early evening drinks, and hit it off straight away I think. He got me a drink, there were no awkward silences, we had lots to talk about and I felt like I was comfortable with him and felt confident (the drinks obviously helped here). Found that we had similar taste in music. Talked about how weird first dates from online dating are. Had a few more drinks, I got a round in (he joked that it was my turn which I actually appreciated, I think sometimes guys can be too into the idea that they have to get everything) He asked if I’d like to go somewhere else so we went down to another bar. There was a live rock band on and it was super loud so we finished our drinks and went somewhere else - on his suggestion. In this one he sat down next to me rather than across the table. I think we were on our second drink here and we were talking and he just kissed me out of nowhere. It was really nice and felt natural

Not awkward or weird. Yes we were a bit drunk (me more than him I think thanks to my drink at home) but it didn’t feel like just a drunken kids/drunken chat. I think I kissed him again and we ended up deciding to go back to his. Couldn’t find a taxi so we went into another bar. Then got a taxi. We slept together at his house... it was fun, we laughed, but it was great too. He knew I had to go back as id have to be up for work at 6.30 so after we fell asleep for a couple of hours I got a taxi home. Kissed goodbye, think we talked about seeing each other again, he said ‘text me’

 

So, I know sleeping together on a first date is frowned upon but I actually don’t agree. Both my best friends slept with their now boyfriends on first meeting/first date and are in long term relationships. Maybe we shouldn’t have but it’s done now and I enjoyed it so no regrets. Next day I’m at work super hungover and wishing he’d text me because I can’t stop thinking about him. I told my friends and they said I should do it since he’d told

Me to, waited until after work around half 5 and send a quick text saying hope you didn’t feel as rough as me at work today, thank you for the drinks and a fun evening. He replied after 20 mins saying I had fun too, it’d be nice to see you again sometime. Because I’ve not dated much and when I have I’ve had no desire to see them again (all were pretty dull and full of awkward moments) so I don’t know how to interpret that. I replied saying me too, let me know when you’re free, maybe less gin next time..

 

That was last night 8pm it’s now 10am and he hasn’t replied, I don’t know if I should expect him to or if he will just let me know when he’s free or did he just say it’d be nice to see me again to be polite but doesn’t really want to? On the night I got the feeling he liked me - I mean he kissed me first? And I don’t know, just the way he kept she contact, the fun we had back at his, the total lack of awkwardness right from the beginning. I really can’t stop thinking about him, and I want to see him again a lot. But is he interested? Like I said I’m no experienced dater so I’m not great at reading the be signs

 

That sounds like a LOT of liquor, OP, and that can really cloud your judgement.

 

As for his response to your text, the word "sometime" suggests to me that you may hear from him when he wants to hook up again, but not that he's interested in a relationship.

[JRH222]

That sounds like a LOT of liquor, OP, and that can really cloud your judgement.

 

As for his response to your text, the word "sometime" suggests to me that you may hear from him when he wants to hook up again, but not that he's interested in a relationship.

 

I don’t think I said how much I drank so don’t know how you came to that conclusion! But like I said it felt like we hit it off at the start of the date when we weren’t drunk too. I have had a text back today, he asked what I’m up to this weekend.. I replied telling him I’m working tonight but otherwise haven’t got much planned. And asked him what his plans were. He said he was watching the football final tomorrow... I kinda thought asking me what I’m doing was a way to ask me out again but maybe not?

[introverted1]

I don’t think I said how much I drank so don’t know how you came to that conclusion!

 

 

I had my first ever good first date a couple of nights ago. I’m not a big eater and this was actually only my 4th with someone I didn’t know - this one in particular I met on the app Bumble. I was super nervous as I don’t do it often and I’m

Not the most confident or outgoing person. Had a drink before to loosen up a bit.. We met for early evening drinks, and hit it off straight away I think. He got me a drink, there were no awkward silences, we had lots to talk about and I felt like I was comfortable with him and felt confident (the drinks obviously helped here). Found that we had similar taste in music. Talked about how weird first dates from online dating are. Had a few more drinks, I got a round in (he joked that it was my turn which I actually appreciated, I think sometimes guys can be too into the idea that they have to get everything) He asked if I’d like to go somewhere else so we went down to another bar. There was a live rock band on and it was super loud so we finished our drinks and went somewhere else - on his suggestion. In this one he sat down next to me rather than across the table. I think we were on our second drink here and we were talking and he just kissed me out of nowhere. It was really nice and felt natural

Not awkward or weird. Yes we were a bit drunk (me more than him I think thanks to my drink at home) but it didn’t feel like just a drunken kids/drunken chat. I think I kissed him again and we ended up deciding to go back to his. Couldn’t find a taxi so we went into another bar. Then got a taxi. We slept together at his house... it was fun, we laughed, but it was great too. He knew I had to go back as id have to be up for work at 6.30 so after we fell asleep for a couple of hours I got a taxi home. Kissed goodbye, think we talked about seeing each other again, he said ‘text me’

 

A drink at home

2-3 drinks at the first bar

2 drinks at the second bar

 

So 5 or 6, at least.

 

But like I said it felt like we hit it off at the start of the date when we weren’t drunk too. I have had a text back today, he asked what I’m up to this weekend.. I replied telling him I’m working tonight but otherwise haven’t got much planned. And asked him what his plans were. He said he was watching the football final tomorrow... I kinda thought asking me what I’m doing was a way to ask me out again but maybe not?

 

My take is he is low interest and will contact you only when he wants to hook up again. Or maybe he's just trying to keep you warm while he sees what else is available on Bumble.

 

He asked about the weekend, but didn't ask for a date. I'd guess it's because you're working tonight and he has plans tomorrow night. Bottom line, though, is: interested people act interested. If he wanted to see you again, he'd set it up.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I don’t think I said how much I drank so don’t know how you came to that conclusion!

 

We all just did the math based on what you said about drinking on the date and being "super hungover."

[JRH222]

We all just did the math based on what you said about drinking on the date and being "super hungover."

 

Ha ok, yeah we did drink a fair bit but it was fun, nothing wrong with that. He’s asked me to go to dinner on Tuesday so guess that’s a good sign. I’m aware there’s a lot of weird rules with dating and texting back and not sleeping together on the first date etc but I think, honestly, it’s all BS and everyone is different. So just gonna go with it and see what happens!