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Is it possible to bounce back from coming on too strong?


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Old 17th May 2018, 7:09 PM   #1
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Is it possible to bounce back from coming on too strong?

I've been on 3 dates with a woman I met recently and we really hit it off. First date lasted about 4 hours, second one about 6 hours, and the third one was just a short 2 hour lunch date yesterday since I'm going out of town for the weekend. I feel like I went too far yesterday by telling her that I have a crush on her and was thinking about writing her a poem (she knows I write poetry and had asked me to read her one, which I did). However, when I told her I was thinking of writing her a poem she just said "Really..." without a ton of enthusiasm and when I started to tell her I had a crush on her she said "Don't say it...".

Neither of those things is very positive and today I felt like a fool. I knew it was too soon, but I got caught up in the moment and got ahead of myself. Is this a salvageable situation or did I screw up? What can I do to bounce back from a misstep like this?
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Old 17th May 2018, 7:14 PM   #2
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I don't really think 3 dates is too soon to tell someone you have a crush on them. The poem thing would kinda weird me out because it's very intimate and if you don't like it, well, the writer's feelings could be hurt.

Go away on your weekend trip and ask her to dinner sometime next week and see how it goes. The only thing that you can do now is give it time to cool down a bit.
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Old 17th May 2018, 7:24 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
I don't really think 3 dates is too soon to tell someone you have a crush on them. The poem thing would kinda weird me out because it's very intimate and if you don't like it, well, the writer's feelings could be hurt.

Go away on your weekend trip and ask her to dinner sometime next week and see how it goes. The only thing that you can do now is give it time to cool down a bit.
For what it's worth, and because I was really feeling like a dumbass, I sent her a funny/flirty text this morning and she replied back with a bunch of LOL emojis and hearts. It was a little bit of a test and the response was at least encouraging.

I agree though to take a step back and let the whole crush/poem thing cool off. It was an awkward moment, but I also don't think I scared her off or she wouldn't have replied to my text with a bunch of laughs and hearts. The lukewarm reaction at lunch yesterday just made me nervous and got me thinking.

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Old 17th May 2018, 7:54 PM   #4
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It's fine. Dial it back. Don't write the poem. If you must, make it a haiku.

Don't mention liking her again. Leave the next declaration to her. Take a day or two off, then arrange another date a few days hence.
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Old 17th May 2018, 8:27 PM   #5
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If you must, make it a haiku.
I like this idea... You said you were going to write a poem, so I think you should follow through. A short happy little haiku would be fine. She may be expecting something and you should put some effort into it. Nothing too heavy, light and airy, maybe a nature reference.

“An honest man's word is as good as his bond.” —Miguel de Cervantes.

Personally, if a woman told me she was going to write a poem to me, I would be very excited to read her work. I'm not expecting Elizabeth Bishop, but I would like to see her writing style, etc.

Just my two cents...
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