How do I handle her little difficulties like an alpha male?

[soundman97]

I have had a girlfriend for 3 months now. Our relationship is mostly amazing. She recently introduced me to her family and I spent 9 days with them and really got to know her Mother and sisters. It's obvious she's really into me and I'm really into her. We are in a LDR. She is bipolar and has a very difficult side to her. I've gotten used to being able to handle most of the things her bipolar brings but there's minor things that annoy the **** out of me.

 

For example, last week she took a ton of pictures of her and I. Sweet and romantic photos, pictures of me with her family, etc. Throughout the week I would ask her to send me the photos. She would say she would but never did. And I wouldn't pressure her about it. Two nights ago I got back home and messaged her about the photos. She said she was busy but would send them soon. 5 hours later she replied back and said to have a good night, with no mention of the photos. I asked her one last time last night. She completely ignored my request and started talking about something else. It seems weird to me that she won't share photos of her and I out and about and spending time together. Especially because a couple of those photos are on her Facebook profile. Also, we did make a "dirty" video and I asked her for that. Same thing, she ignored my request and changed the subject.

 

I know getting some photos is not that big a deal and most people wouldn't care. But it makes me confused why she is so difficult about something so ridiculous. I can understand not wanting to send the "dirty" video we made on her computer. But not sending me the normal photos of us is weird. I'm not so much interested in the photos as I am why she is being weird about it. Why do you think she is being difficult about something like that? Is there a way to approach her about this without losing my alpha male card? Or would you just let it be?

Edited May 16, 2018 by soundman97
Added to the post

[Chilli]

Oh my God , your alpha male card , what in the fkkk .

Besides , your acting like a bit of a baby you were talking what 5hours to start with and now it's only what the next day.

For a start lighten up , she'll probably get around to it.

[coolheadal]

Nothing you can do just have to be strong and take charge. She's not going to give you what you want. So you can also not contact her by sending her text about it. Makes you look weak to her eyes. Bio-polar personality isn't that easy to deal with either, just never knowing what would set her off at you if you do push any type of request for those photos!

[smackie9]

How about this.....she's only known you for 3 months....that ain't long enough to share personal photos, and IMO I wouldn't share that video either. This has nothing to do with being bi-polar, she doesn't trust you yet. She's being smart for being on the cautious side.

[preraph]

She doesn't want you to have them and the ability to post them for whatever reason. She shouldn't have allowed the video and she shouldn't give you that either, for any reason. Too risky.

[d0nnivain]

The minute you ask about being an Alpha male that ship sailed.

 

You have only known this woman for 90 days & you have already spent 10% of that time with her family. Especially if this is a long distance relationship, you can't possibly have spend enough time with each other in person to know each other well. In person is the only time that counts. All the texts, social media & skype sessions don't really count. That's crazy to me that you have literally spent 10% of the time you know her (9/90 days) with her family. Her even asking you to is a red flag. At 90 days you barely should have heard the names of her family members let alone be introduced. Spending that much time with them is waaaaayyyyy too much too soon. I have been married for 10 years & haven't spent 9 days in a row with members of my husband's family who live out of state.

 

If she won't give you these photos, assume 3 things: 1). you are never going to get them; 2). she lies (when she says she will give them to you & doesn't -- so what else is she lying about?) and 3). she doesn't share well. As for the naughty video . . .you probably won't see that again ever unless she posts it as some sort of revenge porn. This is exactly why you don't make these kinds of videos with people barely know. Protest all you want but this woman hasn't been in your life long enough for you to know her well. The idea that you got to know her mother & sisters "well" is laughable. You need way more time -- like years.

 

The failure to establish a foundation is the cause of most of these problems.

 

BTW, none of what you described is any evidence of bi-polar disorder. Does she really have it, diagnosed by a doctor & taking medication? If not, stop throwing around such pejorative terms.

[BaileyB]

Agreed. I will never understand why men worry about not being perceived as an "alpha male."

 

You have bigger issues here than sharing of photos... You have known this woman for only three months, she has a mental illness, it is a LDR, and this relationship has progressed quickly (meaning, you haven't known this woman or spent enough with her to know her. You have not seen this woman in her full colours and until you, you should be very careful).

 

Proceed with caution, my friend.

[d0nnivain]

Is this the same 21 year old you met on the dating app in February who works in Tijuana? If so you are in way over your head with this one.

 

Please heed BaileyB's recommendation that you proceed with caution.

[Sco]

Don't get worked up. Here's a solution, next time you're with her, use YOUR cell and take some pics of the two of you - problem solved.

[Romantic_Antics]

Is this the same 21 year old you met on the dating app in February who works in Tijuana? If so you are in way over your head with this one.

 

Please heed BaileyB's recommendation that you proceed with caution.

 

I just read that thread out of curiosity and I would honestly drop this woman like a bad habit as well as get tested for STDs. That hospital story is beyond bizarre.

 

Don't proceed with caution. Run with reckless abandon towards the nearest exit.