vintagemango Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 So I've been officially with my partner for about a few weeks now and things were going pretty good until about a week and a half ago. I feel he's being distant. Not texting me as often, not sending me selfies, etc. I invited him over to my place last saturday to see if maybe we needed some quality time (we don't see each other M-F since he works late). He met my family (something he's been wanting to do) and we had dinner together and things seemed to have gotten a little better. Yesterday, the same distant behavior started up again and it's been continuing on today. I spoke with him last night and asked if there was anything going on with him and he said no. I'm just confused. He was on his social media pretty much the whole day but barely texted me. He started his new job about 3 weeks ago but even in that first week, the communication was pretty consistent. I went to lunch with a platonic male (gay) friend 2 weeks ago and we was a little bothered by it but we talked about it and I thought it was resolved. If there's something wrong, why isn't he telling me? Or maybe he's losing interest? So confused. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 Maybe meeting the parents, considered a milestone, spooked him or made him feel he was moving too fast. I would consider a guy jealous of a gay man a red flag, by the way. I mean, really? You can't have any man friends even if they're not the least interested in you that way? Link to post Share on other sites
Author vintagemango Posted May 15, 2018 Author Share Posted May 15, 2018 Maybe meeting the parents, considered a milestone, spooked him or made him feel he was moving too fast. I would consider a guy jealous of a gay man a red flag, by the way. I mean, really? You can't have any man friends even if they're not the least interested in you that way? But he's been saying he wanted to meet my parents soon so if it did scare him I don't understand? I mentioned my friend was gay but he seemed to think I was lying. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted May 16, 2018 Share Posted May 16, 2018 There are normal progressions, one being constant communication drops a bit. For me, all day communication is draining, though in the beginning, you're excited about this person and momentum is building. He may not normally be someone who constantly texts. With a girlfriend/dating, it's more than just likes and some comments here and there. It's hard to say if he's settling into more of a personal communication style. It could also be he has a lot going on, and as a new person in his life, he's not going to plop all that in your lap. Unfortunately, after a month or so of dating, it could be he's just not into you and this relationship is reaching an end. He may not know it or is unsure, but he just doesn't have that same drive to keep up the constant communication with you, and he's happy to go about his business. I can't say if this guy friend is the issue or not. If your BF (term used for clarity) doesn't believe he's gay...why not? Is this BF carrying baggage from past relationships, non-trusting, or do you behave in a way with your gay friend the way you would a BF, touching, flirting...something you don't do with women friends? If your BF has issues do to past GFs, do you really want to continue with this? If he shuts down and can't communicate, is this a path you want to go? There's no way to know, but I think you need to prepare yourself for the fact that he might have reached an end to this relationship with you and he's just not into you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vintagemango Posted May 16, 2018 Author Share Posted May 16, 2018 There are normal progressions, one being constant communication drops a bit. For me, all day communication is draining, though in the beginning, you're excited about this person and momentum is building. He may not normally be someone who constantly texts. With a girlfriend/dating, it's more than just likes and some comments here and there. It's hard to say if he's settling into more of a personal communication style. It could also be he has a lot going on, and as a new person in his life, he's not going to plop all that in your lap. Unfortunately, after a month or so of dating, it could be he's just not into you and this relationship is reaching an end. He may not know it or is unsure, but he just doesn't have that same drive to keep up the constant communication with you, and he's happy to go about his business. I can't say if this guy friend is the issue or not. If your BF (term used for clarity) doesn't believe he's gay...why not? Is this BF carrying baggage from past relationships, non-trusting, or do you behave in a way with your gay friend the way you would a BF, touching, flirting...something you don't do with women friends? If your BF has issues do to past GFs, do you really want to continue with this? If he shuts down and can't communicate, is this a path you want to go? There's no way to know, but I think you need to prepare yourself for the fact that he might have reached an end to this relationship with you and he's just not into you. So what's a good way to go about this? Do I just cut to the chase and break it off or wait for him to do it? Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted May 17, 2018 Share Posted May 17, 2018 I don't know what the best course of action would be. You have no idea if he's losing interest or if he's just not a mad texter who wants to maintain the high level of communication you've had so far. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water here. I think it would be reasonable to ask him what his normal style is because he used to text so much more, so you're just wondering. If he's still taking the time to see you and he initiates getting together, and if he initiates texting/talking, even if it's not as much, then keep going. If he's making excuses and cancelling on meeting with you on a regular basis, then you can either let it play out a little longer or nip it in the bud right away stating you would like a man who's around more often and if he's this busy, he can look you up when his life slows down. There's really no formula here. I'm one to wait it out, but this can be tough. For me, it's about not being too rash in judgement. Everyone gets busy once in awhile. However, you do have to realize at some point that he's either not into you, or he is not capable of providing the type of relationship you want. That's your decision to make. Link to post Share on other sites
Solace22 Posted May 17, 2018 Share Posted May 17, 2018 So what's a good way to go about this? Do I just cut to the chase and break it off or wait for him to do it? Greetings, I would advise patience, especially this early on. Don't rush into anything, let things happen naturally. Link to post Share on other sites
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