Did she give me this poem as joke?

[rkc2]

Dear (the nickname she calls me),

 

If rain drops were kisses, I'd send you showers. If hugs were seconds I'd send you hours. If smiles were water. I'd send you the sea. If love were a person. I'd send you me.

 

At the end she drew a heart and left her name. She handed it to me and told me to open it and I just stuck it in my pocket and told her that I would look at it later.

 

She got upset that all I did was put it in my pocket and refuse to look at it. She even playfully shoved me because I kept refusing to look at it in front of her. At point she even said a couple things like "can you just get rid of it", "throw it out", "forget I even gave it to you". She seemed like she was embarrassed by it.

 

We worked together. She is technically a superior of mine. She handed me the poem in front of another coworker and and that coworker asked me the following day what I thought of the poem because the girl in question was asking about it. Apparently it was her idea all along. The coworker didn't dare her to do it.

 

On the day that she gave me the poem before she actually gave me it, she asked if I would go see a movie with her. I quickly said no to which she kind of badgered me about why I wouldn't go with her and I finally said I would and she was like "See, just gotta keep pestering you and you'll give in".

 

The next time I saw her in person, she asked me about the poem and I told her that her game was weak considering she copied the poem from google. She then told me that she thought it would be funny.

 

Would a girl really give me this poem just to be funny?

 

She is 27 and I'm 23.

[amaysngrace]

She's playing a head game so naturally I got to ask, did she give you a woody?

[Art_Critic]

She's playing a head game so naturally I got to ask, did she give you a woody?

 

 

The wind gives a 23 year old a woody...

 

I think she likes him and was trying to get his attention and now that he is standing at attention he should give it to her..

 

Any 27 female who gives a guy a poem like that deserves to be banged like a screen door in a hurricane...IMO

[Romantic_Antics]

That was honestly pretty rude of you to just pocket it. She told you things like "just get rid of it" because you embarrassed and insulted her by not having the decency to read something that she gave you that clearly meant something to her. You could've read it discreetly, even in the presence of others, and nobody would've seen it unless they had X-ray vision or were deliberately trying to read it over your shoulder.

 

Telling her that her "game is weak" could be playful or it could be an additional slap in the face depending on how you said it. All in all, you insulted her. It meant something to her, which is why she asked about it again, and because you dismissed it as nothing and hurt her feelings she had to dismiss it as nothing too by saying she was just trying to be funny.

 

She's of the age where being a jerk is not going to make her like you more so if you have any interest in her at all you should apologize for being dismissive of the poem, tell her you thought it was sweet, and tell her you want to make it up to her by taking her out on a date.

[alphamale]

The wind gives a 23 year old a woody...

 

I think she likes him and was trying to get his attention and now that he is standing at attention he should give it to her..

 

Any 27 female who gives a guy a poem like that deserves to be banged like a screen door in a hurricane...IMO

 

Indeed

[preraph]

It was really rude of you to refuse to read it, so of course she now wishes she hadn't been nice to you. As I recall, you've been doing this to her for quite a while. It's not nice. I don't know why she hasn't lost interest by now. Maybe she will now. She has been persistent. Under the circumstances, that's not very healthy of her. Just all sounds very dysfunctional all around. Can't believe this is playing out at work.

[rkc2]

This is actually a different girl. Not the same one as before.

[preraph]

A different girl at the same place of employment? So did the other one finally stop flirting with you?

[preraph]

I remember you are constantly and unrelentingly paranoid that someone is just teasing you. So let's apply logic here.

 

First of all, if someone is repulsed by you, they will avoid you rather than keep trying to engage you. If they are having a teasing tone, it's because you're so paranoid and they can see that.

 

Also, if you had to rate yourself physically as above average or below average (not average) which would you choose? And which would you choose for these two women who have been doing the same thing at work interacting with you?

 

If there's no big imbalance there, then probably they think you're cute enough. Again, no one puts in time on someone they believe to be repugnant. Women will 11 times out of 10 simply ignore and avoid rather than torment.

 

I still don't get how they are still interested after all the weird defensive behavior you've told us about, but maybe in person you're balancing that out some way at times, so trying not to judge.

[rkc2]

Yes, its a totally different girl at the same place of employment. I walked away from the other one because I finally decided that I didn't like her like that. She would probably still be flirting with me and trying to get me if I didn't nip it in the butt. I'm pretty sure she has borderline personality disorder so I have distanced myself as much as I possibly can from her.

 

I would rate myself above average. I'm tall (6'2), brown hair, blue eyes, have very good hygiene, white teeth (people comment all the time). The girls are both very pretty. Most heterosexual guys would find them attractive. They are typically what I have been able to attract in the past.

 

The weird defensive behavior was because of all the signs that the first girl was exhibiting. I just knew if I became anything more than friends with her that she was going to reel me and potentially destroy my life. The fact that we work together side by side made walking away from her pretty difficult but I have somehow managed to slowly pull away. It's probably been a month since I have had a conversation with her regarding anything but work related material. My emotional well being I felt was being compromised while around her and I needed to get away.

 

I do realize that it was rude of me to refuse to read the poem but she actually gave me it about a month ago. I guess I was just in the process of getting away from the other girl that I didn't want to deal with another girl pouring out her feelings to me.

[d0nnivain]

We worked together. She is technically a superior of mine. She handed me the poem in front of another coworker

 

 

The above is where I have a problem. She's your BOSS. She gave you a love poem at work in front of a co-worker. What the heck was she thinking? That is sexual harassment. So we now know that she makes poor decisions & has questionable judgment. You did the right thing by pocketing the note & not reading it.

 

Her current statement that this was a joke are her trying to save face.

 

You need to take her aside privately. Tell her what she did was inappropriate & how she did it was immature. Assure her that you are happy to put it all behind both of you but if she retaliates against you for spurning her advances you will report her to management.

 

Meanwhile you keep the note as evidence & stay away from her. Her lack of professional judgment can only mean trouble for you.

[preraph]

I'm dying to know what kind of place you work in that everyone thinks all this stuff is normal. Anyway, like ^ said, it certainly can be sexual harassment, but if you're interested in her and she got a whiff of that, then it is highly inappropriate but not exactly sexual harassment.

 

I appreciate you giving some more details about the situation. I think it's fair to say all these women are genuinely interested and flirting with you and probably baffled at your reaction, but hey, they are acting squirrely at work, unless work is a strip club.

 

If you're not interested in this second one, just tell her nicely, "I didn't mean to offend you, but I don't feel comfortable flirting with people I work with. Please don't take it personal. It's just not a good idea."

 

All you really have to say is "I don't date coworkers." Now, if you DO date coworkers, just not these ones, you're on your own, Bud, because it's going to be a soap opera. Been there, done that. It's fun as long as you're not serious about the job and don't mind taking chances with it. If you plan to stay in that industry, just remember it's a small world and people talk and distort things.

 

Good luck.

[rkc2]

The above is where I have a problem. She's your BOSS. She gave you a love poem at work in front of a co-worker. What the heck was she thinking? That is sexual harassment. So we now know that she makes poor decisions & has questionable judgment. You did the right thing by pocketing the note & not reading it.

 

Her current statement that this was a joke are her trying to save face.

 

You need to take her aside privately. Tell her what she did was inappropriate & how she did it was immature. Assure her that you are happy to put it all behind both of you but if she retaliates against you for spurning her advances you will report her to management.

 

Meanwhile you keep the note as evidence & stay away from her. Her lack of professional judgment can only mean trouble for you.

 

So no girl would give that poem as a joke? Even though it was copied from google?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

So no girl would give that poem as a joke? Even though it was copied from google?

 

No, why would she do that?

 

What in the world is the kind of place you work at?? It sounds like middle school!

 

Although I definitely could see this playing out as a storyline on Superstore (TV show).

[bathtub-row]

It wasn't a joke. She was just covering up her actions because you didn't take the bait. There was nothing inappropriate about what you did, but her behavior in the workplace was completely inappropriate, i.e. sexual harassment.

 

The way she continued to badger you about going to a movie, etc is something that could get her in a lot of trouble, particularly with her being your superior. I recommend that you tell your immediate boss about these incidents because it's possible that she's vindictive and may try to turn the story around to burn you. If I were you, I'd tread carefully in this situation.

[d0nnivain]

So no girl would give that poem as a joke? Even though it was copied from google?

 

I can't speak for all girls everywhere. Of course some little middle school pre-teen or early teen child might give a poem to be cruel.

 

An adult supervisor in the workplace? I would hope somebody would not play a cruel joke like that ever, but really not at work!

 

You seem to have complete missed my point that your boss giving you this poem in front of other co-workers is sexual harassment.

[rkc2]

It wasn't a joke. She was just covering up her actions because you didn't take the bait. There was nothing inappropriate about what you did, but her behavior in the workplace was completely inappropriate, i.e. sexual harassment.

 

The way she continued to badger you about going to a movie, etc is something that could get her in a lot of trouble, particularly with her being your superior. I recommend that you tell your immediate boss about these incidents because it's possible that she's vindictive and may try to turn the story around to burn you. If I were you, I'd tread carefully in this situation.

 

She was actually talking about movies with a coworker when she all of a sudden asked if I would go see a movie with her so she wasn't really asking me out. Its when I told her NO that she kept asking why I wouldn't go with her.

 

 

No, why would she do that?

 

What in the world is the kind of place you work at?? It sounds like middle school!

 

Although I definitely could see this playing out as a storyline on Superstore (TV show).

 

I don't know. Just to mess with me? The poem almost seems too good to be true. Like what girl would actually hand that to a guy? We work in retail. The company employs a lot of young high school and college age kids. If it makes any difference, she has also done the following:

 

 

-Has wrote my first and last name with MR. at beginning on my drink cups. ( Not so people know who's who's, I drink a very specific type of drink)

-Told me that when I leave and move on to a different job that she's going to miss me (this isn't a career)

- asks me a good amount of questions. (What I do in my free time, presses for details when I go on vacay)

- She did mention months ago I should add her on snapchat so we can snap each other

- repeats phrases and lingo I use. sometimes mimics me

- handed her money to go buy me a energy drink and she says " I have one of these in my car, I'll go grab it for you"

- Was bored one day and I was joking around with some other girls at work and asked them if it would be weird if I asked for a coloring book and at a restaurant and they all thought it was weird but when she found out, she said she didn't think it was weird.

- I was talking the one day and I could tell people were sort of zoning out, so I sort of stopped and she said "RKC2, I'm still listening"

- laughs at just about everything that comes out of my mouth

-defends me and agrees with me

- willingness to help me with whatever.

- Encourages me more than a friend would do.

- was telling her one day how I don’t have a problem with anybody at work and she was like that’s because everybody loves you. I said i don’t know about everyone one and she was like no everybody loves you

- I buy lunch for us often and she pays me back so the one day I told her that she doesn't owe me anything because she's been good to me and she still ended up paying me back.

[preraph]

Everyone has told you she's being nice, but you seem to have such a deep distrust of women that you can't ever believe one isn't up to something evil.

[rkc2]

Everyone has told you she's being nice, but you seem to have such a deep distrust of women that you can't ever believe one isn't up to something evil.

 

Nice as in what? Just wants to be friends with me

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Nice as in what? Just wants to be friends with me

 

Nice as she meant what she said in the poem. She likes you romantically. It is inappropriate, but that's another issue. You seem to be more interested in our opinions about her motive than whether she should have done it or not.

[preraph]

Nice as in what? Just wants to be friends with me

 

Interested in you. Go back and read all the posts again. You just keep asking the same question over and over and everyone's already answered it.

[rkc2]

So today she was trying to figure something out about me because I wouldn’t tell her and she was biting her finger while trying to figure it out.

 

She also wrote my nickname down on a piece of paper and taped it to my water bottle.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

So today she was trying to figure something out about me because I wouldn’t tell her and she was biting her finger while trying to figure it out.

 

She also wrote my nickname down on a piece of paper and taped it to my water bottle.

 

This means nothing in the context of this story.

[nospam99]

Dude, most of the replies you've gotten are from ladies among 'the LS regulars'. They and I are old enough to be your parents so we're 'speaking' from a perspective of 'experience' which may or may not be of value to a 23 y/o being hit on by a 27 y/o supervisor.

 

Here's one male's (mine) opinion, most just echoing what the ladies have said:

- she is romantically interested in you

- because of your roles in the workplace, it is sexual harassment and inappropriate

- you can take her up on her offer ... if it's the way you roll, take Art_Critic's suggestion and 'bang her like a screen door in a hurricane' ... BUT either way you risk YOUR job because of her relative power in the workplace

- I understand that retail is probably not as 'uptight' as other work environments even in this MeToo era

[rkc2]

I should note that about a month after she gave me her a poem I gave her one back that said "roses are red, violets are blue, I would love to go see the avengers with you". I did this because at one point she did ask if I would go see a movie with her. I kind of just handed it to her and walked away because I was going home. I heard some screams from her but besides that didn't hear anything back until yesterday when I found out from a girl that was there when I gave her the poem that she wasn't sure if I was joking or not. She told her not say anything to me because she didn't want me to be embarrassed.

 

That doesn't even make sense. Why would I be embarrassed?