North American women and Eastern European men

[photone]

Are women born in Canada or the US actually interested in men originally from Eastern Europe? I've lived in Canada for 15 years and always dated women of my origin. I seem to have had this mental limitation in my mind that Canadian-born women are not interested in Eastern European men for some reason. In particular, such a reason may be the perception of Eastern European men as being "controlling" and "patriarchal". Well, I'm definitely not of this category, but if there is this stereotype, does it really prevent North American women from getting interested in a handsome and well-educated Eastern European man for a serious relationship ultimately leading to marriage?

[DiamondNata]

almost the same statement I heard about the fact that almost all Americans are attracted to Russian women

[photone]

So, then, neither statemnet is true?

[CatMinx]

Women as a gender are not attracted or unattracted to any one type. We all have different tastes. It’s rather unfair to generalize any group of people like that. Perhaps you need to widen your own dating pool.

[photone]

Good to hear. However, a Canadian-born female friend of mine has said that there is a stereotype among Canadian women that E. European men tend be of sexist or macho types (in particular, she mentioned Russian men). So there may be something like that. But, of course, on individual level, one who knows you personally should be able to see whether or not such a stereotype really applies to you.

[photone]

Duplicate deleted.

Edited March 23, 2018 by photone

[CatMinx]

I happen to prefer dark haired guys with a belly..doesn’t mean all women do..some like blond men with 6-pack abs. It’s all about finding that ONE..it’s like finding a needle in a haystack. But you won’t do it unless you broaden your own dating spectrum. So what if it’s a stereotype? Prove it wrong!

[Purrrfect]

If I’m attracted to a guy I don’t care where he is from. I dated someone from Tomania a couple years ago. We didn’t work out but I would do it again

[preraph]

Quite honestly, I don't think any but the most well traveled would have a clue what an Eastern European man even connotes. I just looked up the region, having only the vaguest idea that Russia was included. I couldn't have told you the religious choices or customs at all, much less how the men are, other than I hear lots of Vodka! So don't worry about it.

[marky00]

Quite honestly, I don't think any but the most well traveled would have a clue what an Eastern European man even connotes. I just looked up the region, having only the vaguest idea that Russia was included. I couldn't have told you the religious choices or customs at all, much less how the men are, other than I hear lots of Vodka! So don't worry about it.

 

hmmm, really? U didn't know Russia was part of Eastern Europe. And I don't think you need to be the most well traveled to have an idea of how Eastern European men are.

 

Maybe this is what the issue is. Americans know so little about Eastern Europe they can think or say whatever they like about it and its men.

 

Oh and I'm on the other side of the world from Eastern Europe.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Quite honestly, I don't think any but the most well traveled would have a clue what an Eastern European man even connotes. I just looked up the region, having only the vaguest idea that Russia was included. I couldn't have told you the religious choices or customs at all, much less how the men are, other than I hear lots of Vodka! So don't worry about it.

 

Honestly, my knowledge of stereotypes only exists from watching 90 Day Fiance!

 

But, I'd say that yes, they exist, and yes, I'd be leary because of the "controlling" aspect. But, I'd also be willing to give it a shot just based on physical attraction alone .

[act00]

I think that if you are of a certain heritage and culture (macho, domineering), you will have to live that stereotype down or prove otherwise, and there may be many females who won't even look in your direction due to your physical appearance or accent...they know they don't want this type of man, and won't even give you a try...to live down that stereotype...sorry.

 

I will and I would try dating men of a different culture, but admittedly, knowing the culture and mind-think of women being lesser, it will keep me on high alert, and I'm out the door pretty fast at the first sign of danger. You were raised and lived a certain way for many years, and certain expectations and behaviors are ingrained, and there's no way on God's green earth I'm dealing with certain issues ever again, and my issues are Wonder Bread, US crapola, known as the MorgBelt...nope and no...just no.

 

I dated a man briefly who I would presume is within your origin and culture (very close to my own distant family heritage), and despite how "open" he was, the few dates we had, there was the aura of the very machismo and domineering attitude, and it reminded me too much of the male culture of my older relatives and the women who suffered greatly among it, and I was done. I'm too old and too tired to deal with that garbage.

 

I think you might be in a position that you have to battle the stereotype, if you're hitting stonewalls in dating outside of this culture. Do you socialize and have friends outside of this particular culture? Do you carry certain ideals and expectations that come out in a more subtle fashion?

 

I think if you're presenting this question on an online forum, you must be battling issues related to this stereotype, and I wonder how your daily life, attitude, friends, family are causing issue.

 

Yes, women will be interested in dating someone of your culture and heritage.

[photone]

I think that if you are of a certain heritage and culture (macho, domineering), you will have to live that stereotype down or prove otherwise

 

I don't understand the machismo attitude of men, other than their insecurity leading to the desire to prove their manhood. I was recently trying to get to know a woman of Russian descent, and when it came to the discussion about relationship models, I mentioned that there are basically three models, and my model of preference is mutual and honest partnership. She did not understand it, so I think she's not a good match for me. I've dated women like that - they would tell me "you're the man so you decide" (which, by the way, put me off to some degree), they would expect me to handle all restraurant and travel expenses, but then they would switch on their "independence attitude" whenever it felt convenient.

 

Long story short, I want to switch my focus from Eastern European women because I believe in relationships of mutual partnership, not where the man always decides but where two people are competent enough and responsible enough to hold council. And if, say, most Canadian women prefer this model of relationship, I would very much like to establish such a relationship with a woman like that.

 

and there may be many females who won't even look in your direction due to your physical appearance or accent...

 

I understand the physical appearance part but not the accent part. What's wrong with one's having an accent?

 

I think you might be in a position that you have to battle the stereotype, if you're hitting stonewalls in dating outside of this culture.

 

The thing is that I've actually been avoiding even trying to establish a relationship with a locally-born women (I live in Canada). Now that I've dated significantly many women of the Russian and Ukrainian descents, and that I'm also to move to a small town where meeting an Eastern European woman is not that likely at all, and given the fact that I'm not that very young anymore, I understand that I need to walk away from my dating comfort zone.

 

Do you socialize and have friends outside of this particular culture?

 

Yes, I do have friends and acquantances outside of my culture of origin. I do socialize too, but not very much, being an introverted kind of person. Now that I'm to become a high school teacher, I believe I'm going to socialize considerably more. Which should be very helpful towards getting integrated deeper into the natively local society.

 

Do you carry certain ideals and expectations that come out in a more subtle fashion?

 

So my ideal is mutual comprehension and respect. I see no reason to treat a woman like a mere object.

 

Yes, women will be interested in dating someone of your culture and heritage.

 

Good to read this. But I gather from your post that it is likely that many women, especially in smaller towns, will be wary of my accent.

Edited March 24, 2018 by photone

[act00]

I don't understand the machismo attitude of men, other than their insecurity leading to the desire to prove their manhood. I was recently trying to get to know a woman of Russian descent, and when it came to the discussion about relationship models, I mentioned that there are basically three models, and my model of preference is mutual and honest partnership. She did not understand it, so I think she's not a good match for me. I've dated women like that - they would tell me "you're the man so you decide" (which, by the way, put me off to some degree), they would expect me to handle all restraurant and travel expenses, but then they would switch on their "independence attitude" whenever it felt convenient.

 

Long story short, I want to switch my focus from Eastern European women because I believe in relationships of mutual partnership, not where the man always decides but where two people are competent enough and responsible enough to hold council. And if, say, most Canadian women prefer this model of relationship, I would very much like to establish such a relationship with a woman like that.

 

 

 

I understand the physical appearance part but not the accent part. What's wrong with one's having an accent?

 

 

 

The thing is that I've actually been avoiding even trying to establish a relationship with a locally-born women (I live in Canada). Now that I've dated significantly many women of the Russian and Ukrainian descents, and that I'm also to move to a small town where meeting an Eastern European woman is not that likely at all, and given the fact that I'm not that very young anymore, I understand that I need to walk away from my dating comfort zone.

 

 

 

Yes, I do have friends and acquantances outside of my culture of origin. I do socialize too, but not very much, being an introverted kind of person. Now that I'm to become a high school teacher, I believe I'm going to socialize considerably more. Which should be very helpful towards getting integrated deeper into the natively local society.

 

 

 

So my ideal is mutual comprehension and respect. I see no reason to treat a woman like a mere object.

 

 

 

Good to read this. But I gather from your post that it is likely that many women, especially in smaller towns, will be wary of my accent.

 

How is it that you have lived in Canada and existed in Canada for 15 years, yet are somehow sequestered so much, you can't date or socialize outside of your Russian or Ukrainian descent and never have?

 

The accent suggests you are from a foreign region, with different culture, English as a second language (I am fully impressed, I speak only one) and there are regional accents as well, strong ones being New York and southern states. Canada has an accent, though more subtle. I peg Canadians pretty fast...lots of snowbirds out here...love them...and my family is in Canada...eh...accents are what they are.

 

If you have existed all this time, sequestered in some "mini-Ukraine" or what-have-you, it's going to be quite the eye-opener dealing with teenagers in the normal world...good luck...and dealing with your peers outside of your mini-country inside of Canada? Are you really that sequestered?

 

I'm not saying that you accent is a problem. What I am saying is that the predominant culture and attitude could be problematic in dating women who do not wish to partake in such a common attitude; the stereotype. The accent could be a "red flag," and some won't give you the time of day because of it. All you can do is be yourself and present yourself as a confident man who is not patriarchal and domineering, be respectful of women, even those who are more knowledgeable than you, and go from there.

 

You're going to hit stonewalls in dating regardless of hair or eye color or religion or culture or race. I think you may have to battle stereotypes, though, and that's going to be hard.

[lovephule]

There was an interesting opinion piece written a few years ago by a young Russian-American woman. Not sure if it’s ok to link but you can google it if you like: “I love (and hate) dating Russian men.” I found it both relatable and eye-opening.

[photone]

How is it that you have lived in Canada and existed in Canada for 15 years, yet are somehow sequestered so much, you can't date or socialize outside of your Russian or Ukrainian descent and never have?

 

Actually I wrote in my post above that I do have connections outside of my culture of origin, that is with people who grew up in Canada. I've mentioned, as well, that I do socialize. Guess I was not precise enough. Yes, I do socialize with people outside of my culture of origin. Maybe not often enough, but that's going to change I think.

 

Speaking of accent, I also speak some French, and I've worked on my accent in the past, so my accent doesn't sound exactly Russian. In Québec people sometimes switch to French if I speak English. Also there was one episode when a girl in my university class thought I was from Québec. She was somewhat amazed when I told her I wasn't.

 

If you have existed all this time, sequestered in some "mini-Ukraine" or what-have-you, it's going to be quite the eye-opener dealing with teenagers in the normal world...good luck...and dealing with your peers outside of your mini-country inside of Canada?

 

In addition to what I wrote above, I studied in a Canadian university, never lived in diasporas, so never lived in a "sequestered" area, fortunately. I've also done business with peers, and have friends in different age groups - some are 20+, and there is one person who is 70+. So I don't think I'll have any specific issues interacting with teenagers or peers.

 

I'm not saying that you accent is a problem. What I am saying is that the predominant culture and attitude could be problematic in dating women who do not wish to partake in such a common attitude; the stereotype.

 

If I'm not patriarchal, and have never been, in fact, then, I hope, there shouldn't be any such attitude, if I get what you mean.

 

The accent could be a "red flag," and some won't give you the time of day because of it. All you can do is be yourself and present yourself as a confident man who is not patriarchal and domineering, be respectful of women, even those who are more knowledgeable than you, and go from there.

 

I highly respected my female professors of mathematics, no doubt about it. They knew much more than I, and I don't know how one would not respect a person who is more knowledgeable.

 

I think you may have to battle stereotypes, though, and that's going to be hard.

 

I have the hope that well-educated and well-traveled women will not base their choice on stereotypes too much.