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Anxious about being pregnant


sadiegirl86

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sadiegirl86

Hello,

 

not sure if this is the right spot to post this but here I ago. First and foremost, I am a very anxious person. I would definitely say I suffer from some form of anxiety disorder even though a therapist I saw claims I don't. I worry way too much, overanalyse everything and intrusive thoughts are constantly with me.

 

Now, I dated a guy for a moth. In this month we had sex about five times (every time we used a condom, I am not on any form of birth control). Last time we slept together was end of Feb, and around this time, according to my mobile app, I was ovulating. According to the guy, the condom didn't malfunction.

 

I have been freaking out ever since. I took three pregnancy tests (although it is super early even if there is something) and they came back negative, had my HcG levels tested through blood (it was less than 0,1000 so the result was very negative, although again it was early), and on top of everything I got my period when I was suppose to get it.

 

But...my intrusive thoughts. My period is pretty regular and this time around it is not as heavy as it usually is (although it was pretty heavy on the first day). It/s been three days and I am used to a heavier flow (sorry for the extra info). On top of that I feel cramping and I am slightly nauseated. (that said, usually when I am anxious and nervous, I feel sick and my stomach hurts), so not sure if I should follow this up with a doctor. I even took a morning after pill (although two and a half days after the last time we slept together). I am freaking out and I fear if I go to see my doctor she will tell me I am insane because I took all these tests and I got my period (which is still going on even though it is not as heavy).

 

Any advice is very welcome. Thank you.

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Hey Sadie,

 

Sperm will survive max 4 days.

Even the worst, cheapest pregnancy test will detect pregnancy after 14 days of fertilization.

The blood test detects it even more early.

 

You're not pregnant.

 

I recognize the intrusive thoughts though. I had sex with a girl with a condom on, didn't come, and still there was that fear of "what if?".

 

Maybe getting an implant might alleviate some of your worries? It has a failure rate of only 0.1%.

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First up, if you're this anxious about being pregnant, you NEED to get extra contraception.

 

Second is to follow the chain of "what ifs?" and look at how you'd cope if you were pregnant. What's the worst that could predictably happen? Serious question.

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sadiegirl86
First up, if you're this anxious about being pregnant, you NEED to get extra contraception.

 

Second is to follow the chain of "what ifs?" and look at how you'd cope if you were pregnant. What's the worst that could predictably happen? Serious question.

 

If I am being honest, I don't really sleep with people on a regular basis which is why I am not on the pill. I actually really liked this guy and thought we were starting something. Clearly did not work.

 

As for what is the worst thing? Apart from the fact I am not longer with this guy, I am also back to school to pursue my dream career and I am not financially or emotionally able to take care of a child right now.

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If I am being honest, I don't really sleep with people on a regular basis which is why I am not on the pill. I actually really liked this guy and thought we were starting something. Clearly did not work.

 

OK, so how about if you find a connection with a guy, go on the pill before you have sex?

 

As for what is the worst thing? Apart from the fact I am not longer with this guy, I am also back to school to pursue my dream career and I am not financially or emotionally able to take care of a child right now.

 

So is termination or adoption not an option? Alternatively, if you were to keep the child, what kind of support would your family give you? What options are there for single mothers where you are?

 

I'm talking about going right through all the options and coming up with a game plan for if you should be pregnant. Life has risks, so for the sake of your sanity you have only two options: a) don't take the risk. Or b) have a good risk management plan, including disaster recovery strategy.

Edited by basil67
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CautiouslyOptimistic

Sweetie, you're not pregnant <3. You can relax. You're probably nauseous from anxiety, and who knows why your flow is lighter Maybe stress can do that too :).

 

Kudos for having safe sex AND realizing how big a commitment a child would be, but perhaps you should think about going on the pill or getting an IUD or something (if your body can handle these hormones) since you have anxiety. And use a condom TOO. (I'm not judging you....I'm medicated for my anxiety :) )

 

Go to bed early tonight.....get a good night's sleep.....you are not pregnant.....you are not pregnant.....you are not pregnant....:)

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sadiegirl86
OK, so how about if you find a connection with a guy, go on the pill before you have sex?

 

 

 

So is termination or adoption not an option? Alternatively, if you were to keep the child, what kind of support would your family give you? What options are there for single mothers where you are?

 

I'm talking about going right through all the options and coming up with a game plan for if you should be pregnant. Life has risks, so for the sake of your sanity you have only two options: a) don't take the risk. Or b) have a good risk management plan, including disaster recovery strategy.

 

Options are not good for where I am from. But just thinking about being pregnant makes me anxious, I suppose I came here so people could tell me if they thought I was or wasn't. I have learned my lesson and will not sleep with anyone again without being on the pill or being married to them.

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sadiegirl86
Sweetie, you're not pregnant <3. You can relax. You're probably nauseous from anxiety, and who knows why your flow is lighter Maybe stress can do that too :).

 

Kudos for having safe sex AND realizing how big a commitment a child would be, but perhaps you should think about going on the pill or getting an IUD or something (if your body can handle these hormones) since you have anxiety. And use a condom TOO. (I'm not judging you....I'm medicated for my anxiety :) )

 

Go to bed early tonight.....get a good night's sleep.....you are not pregnant.....you are not pregnant.....you are not pregnant....:)

 

Thank you for this very kind approach. I can tell you have a very beautiful heart. Thank you so much

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lana-banana

You already know this isn't about being pregnant, it's about fearing a total loss of control as embodied by pregnancy. You may also feel a sense of shame, embarrassment, and low self-worth ("of course I'm pregnant, I deserve to have bad things happen to me"). Self-critical thoughts often go alongside profound anxiety.

 

I know all this because I was (well, sometimes still am) there. Without a conscious effort it won't ever really go away. Start a ritual that helps you relax---light a candle, take some deep breaths, whatever---and think about why you're so anxious. Do you believe you don't deserve everything you've earned and you're just waiting for something awful to take it away? Are you looking for validation that you really are some kind of screw-up?

 

You aren't pregnant, and there's nothing very wrong with you, either. Anxiety is just how hyperactive brains try to protect themselves from an uncertain future. You don't have the data to know anything for sure, but you can't accept not knowing, so you try to safeguard against every possible contingency, no matter how dire or unlikely. Sometimes anxiety can even be good for you! But left untreated it will eat you alive.

 

Think about your current coping techniques and what you can do to put yourself more at ease in your world. Focus on how you can be kind and loving and reassuring to yourself. Look for a safe outlet for extreme anxiety, like exercise or creative pursuits. You are going to be fine, but you have to believe it first.

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RecentChange

Oh hun.

 

I can tell ya, as someone who does NOT want kids, when I was younger, the fear of pregnancy would freak me out!

 

And I don't suffer from general anxiety like you do.

 

First, right now, deep breaths, you are not pregnant. No way no how. I hope you find a way to sleep soundly and get some relief.

 

Future? For me, hormonal BC was not the way to go, I did not like the feeling of having my hormones messed with. But I did want to be careful!

 

Luckily for me, my BF at the time was equally freaked out by pregnancy (his best friend hand just gone through an abortion with his girl... And it really affected him).

 

So, what did we do? First condoms of course. Condoms with spermicide for extra protection. And for more protection I used a spermicide foam. And for more prevention, he would pull out before he came. This way we would need 1st pull out to fail, 2nd the condom to fail (all my years I have never had this happen), and if the first two happened, now those swimmers would have to go through spermicide x2 - odds stacked in our favor!

 

I tell ya, one time I was extra stressed out by bills life etc.... And then I was late - OH NO!!!! freaked more, took a test, negative, thought it must be wrong. Went to the Dr, got a work up... Nope not pregnant they say.

 

When I got that news... I got my period the next morning. I swear I was just too stressed and threw my body out of wack.

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heavenonearth

It doesn’t sound like you are pregnant.

But it is possible that the irregularity of your current period was caused by the stress you experienced when being anxious about a possible pregnancy.

 

Condoms are alright. If you do not wish to take the pill, make sure to not sleep with a guy during ovulation. Personally, i do not want to take the pill as it has really fudged up my hormones and made me gain weight and become depressed. I tried so many different pills.

Due to my chronic illness i can’t have any local contraceptives placed either. This is why i can only use condoms for contraception and i make sure not to have sex during ovulation as an extra precaution.

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If you are not able to deal with the risk of an unplanned pregnancy, you should not be having sex. Unfortunately, one of the risks of sex is pregnancy. And condoms are not 100% effective.

 

but, I would try not to be afraid of sex. You just need to be safe. Use more than one form of birth control. And talk with your guy and have a plan for what you would do if you had an unplanned pregnancy. To do all of these things will help to decrease your anxiety.

 

And yes, sleep well tonight because you are not pregnant.

Edited by BaileyB
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Future? For me, hormonal BC was not the way to go, I did not like the feeling of having my hormones messed with. But I did want to be careful!

 

It's insane how much I'm looking forward to Vasalgel, and I'm not even sexually active.

 

Nonhormonal reversible semipermanent birth control for men? What's there not to love!

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sadiegirl86

Thank you all.

 

I understand I am very anxious, which is probably while I will not be calm until I go to see my doctor and get a confirmation. I have read so many articles on women ending up being pregnant even though they were on their period and had negative pregnancy tests, this is why I am freaked out. I will take another test in the morning. My own mum was pregnant for four months before she knew (although she was trying to get pregnant).

 

Thank you all for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I suppose I should tackle my anxiety but again, a therapist I was seeing claims I don't have an anxiety disorder. But I feel like I do.

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If you're that anxious just go to a clinic and get a blood test. You will find out right away if you are pregnant. A forum can't tell you.

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sadiegirl86
If you're that anxious just go to a clinic and get a blood test. You will find out right away if you are pregnant. A forum can't tell you.

 

I did get a blood test. It came back negative. But as I stated before, I read somewhere women can have a negative blood test and be on their period and still be pregnant. I understand my worry is slightly annoying, but that is why I consider it the manifestation of my anxiety. And it is easier to explain my situation and have people tell me chances are quite low. I am well aware the forum cannot know what is going on inside my body. I was just looking for some comfort.

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sadiegirl86
You took Plan B and you already had your period.

 

YOU. ARE. NOT. PREGNANT.

 

Sheesh.

 

I took it almost 72 hours after intercourse, therefore it might have not been effective. Also, my period this time round is not as heavy as it normally is. Thirdly, I am aware most girls would have let it go by now, but I am very anxious and having people tell me I am perhaps overreacting is actually helpful.

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I can identify with your post so much OP! I’ve just gone through this. I did a test a couple of weeks after I last had sex with my ex and it was negative. But then for some reason my anxiety and intrusive thoughts kicked in again and a couple of months later I decided I was pregnant. I had been feeling a bit bloated and my period was lighter and irregular as I had come off the pill. I did two more tests-negative. I too had read tests can be wrong, you can get your period while pregnant etc etc. I went to my doctor who felt my tummy and said she could feel nothing there and did a blood test to be sure. Of course it was negative. I got relief for about a day and then started to worry about stis. I’m in counselling as I know this is all anxiety related and it doesn’t matter how much you know you’re imagining things, it just keeps coming back, infiltrating your thoughts all day “what if?” I don’t think extra precautions with contraception will be your answer-it’s like someone mentioned above, it’s the anxiety that’s the problem. This is how it’s manifesting itself.

I just wanted to let you know I went through this. There’s no way in hell you are pregnant but go to the gp for another test if it puts your mind at ease-whatever it takes. But then deal with the root cause. Good luck!

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sadiegirl86
I can identify with your post so much OP! I’ve just gone through this. I did a test a couple of weeks after I last had sex with my ex and it was negative. But then for some reason my anxiety and intrusive thoughts kicked in again and a couple of months later I decided I was pregnant. I had been feeling a bit bloated and my period was lighter and irregular as I had come off the pill. I did two more tests-negative. I too had read tests can be wrong, you can get your period while pregnant etc etc. I went to my doctor who felt my tummy and said she could feel nothing there and did a blood test to be sure. Of course it was negative. I got relief for about a day and then started to worry about stis. I’m in counselling as I know this is all anxiety related and it doesn’t matter how much you know you’re imagining things, it just keeps coming back, infiltrating your thoughts all day “what if?” I don’t think extra precautions with contraception will be your answer-it’s like someone mentioned above, it’s the anxiety that’s the problem. This is how it’s manifesting itself.

I just wanted to let you know I went through this. There’s no way in hell you are pregnant but go to the gp for another test if it puts your mind at ease-whatever it takes. But then deal with the root cause. Good luck!

 

So...today I took another test. And... it is inconclusive. I freaked out. I took the Clear blue test around 7 am, looked at it and it was negative. But I kept the test and looked at it again around 1 pm. This time, there was the faintest of lines across the minus one (more like a shadow). I started freaking out and took the test to my pharmacy, three women looked at it and couldn't deny seeing the line but said it could be just a shadow. They said that there is no way I am pregnant and even if I was pregnant, the lines would be a lot thicker since it has been over three weeks from my ovulation and intercourse. I am sitting at home crying. I read you should read the test between 2 and 10 min from taking it, clearly I looked at it almost six hours later and I read an evaporation line could appear during this time. I cannot be sure I did not see this line this morning. I called my doctor and booked an ultrasound. I am also having a blood test in the morning. I am never sleeping with anyone again until I am sure I want babies. This is too stressful. :(

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This still sounds very unlikely. Did you try one of the digital tests that says pregnant or not pregnant besides messsing with lines that may or may not appear?

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RecentChange

I started freaking out

I am sitting at home crying.

This is too stressful. :(

 

Honey... do you see a counselor? You really need some help getting your anxiety under control. At this point... this is completely irrational. If your therapist says that do you not have anxiety - sounds like it is time for a new therapist.

 

YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT. The odds of you being pregnant are somewhere around 0.0000000000000000000000000000005%

 

This isn't good for you, this isn't healthy. You need to learn how to not indulge these harmful thoughts and go down rabbit holes like this.

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Yes I feel so sorry for you as I know the feeeling. It’s just awful. Please do find a new counsellor who can pull all this apart because the rabbit hole is hell and there has to be.a reason as to why you go there. It’s not reality just your mind playing with you over and over inventing “proof” you’re pregnant. I know it’s easy for me to say but I have been there. Please find someone else to talk to. Take care.

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I took it almost 72 hours after intercourse, therefore it might have not been effective. Also, my period this time round is not as heavy as it normally is. Thirdly, I am aware most girls would have let it go by now, but I am very anxious and having people tell me I am perhaps overreacting is actually helpful.

 

How old are you? Was this your first time having intercourse?

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sadiegirl86
How old are you? Was this your first time having intercourse?

 

nope, but i wasn't this anxious either... not sure why this happens now...

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