He's into me but doesn't text me?

[sheilabezi]

Hi all. So in a previous thread, I mentioned how I met this new guy (I’ll call him A) a couple of weeks ago. We met at a party, exchanged our numbers and talked for a while. He seems extremely sweet, he’s very gentle and he’s genuinely interested in the person that I am.



 

After a few days though we stopped talking without any real explanation. I thought I’d let it go but then yesterday one of his friends texted me (I’ll call him B. We had already spoken before and he has already admitted he was kind of into me as well but I kindly made it clear that I wasn’t really interested) and offered to all get together (I would bring my friends and he would bring his, A included). I accepted and then we continued to talk for a bit.



 

B kept teasing me by saying how cute we’d be together (me and A) and he also tried to make me admit I was into A. B then told me that he was pretty sure A likes me because apparently he talks a lot about me and even lies from time to time by saying that we talk a lot while in fact, we don’t. He also told me that last week, while they were at a party, A got upset because he thought one of this guys (not B) was talking to me. A thought he’d seen my name on his friend’s phone and got defensive. B even teased me by saying “I shouldn’t be talking to you right now if I want to avoid problems”. 



 

Now, we are all going to see each other this friday and I don’t know what to expect. I don’t understand, if A is “jealous” and wants to get to know me better, why not simply text me? Had I known what he had said and done earlier, I would have texted him myself. However, I only learned about this yesterday through B and we are anyways going to see each other this friday, so I don’t feel confortable texting him now.

 



I guess my question is; do you have any idea why he doesn’t text me if he feels this way? And how should I react in front of him this friday? Also, B kind of flirted with me when we talked yesterday, even though I once again clearly and respectfully said nothing could ever happen between us. The last thing I would want is cause trouble between two friends.

[Maggie4]

Some men don't like to text, especially the ones that are not chatty even in person. I can only tell you what I would do. I'd stop talking to B altogether, really keep distance, and I'd text A, like NOW, and say "Hey! I am looking forward to seeing you this Friday! (insert smiley face)"

[kendahke]

Never allow anyone access who has no business in your relationship.

 

Whatever is or is not going on between you and A is none of B's business--I don't care how good a friend he is.

 

You don't know what he's going back and feeding to A, especially since B liked you and you shot him down.

 

If A doesn't have the stones and confidence to state to you what his intentions are, then assume that he's not interested in anything but playing games with you and allowing his boy to run interference for him---that is beyond messy.

 

Shut B down. You don't owe him anything regarding information about you and A.

 

If A was that interested in you, he'd have made that clear instead of playing silly games.

Edited March 14, 2018 by kendahke

[Exformer]

B sounds very young and very immature. I think he's teasing you about A just to get a rise out of you, and he's feeding you info on A so that he has an opportunity to do so. This is most likely either because he still has feelings for you and is a little bitter, or he's moved into the orbiter position of "friend" to remain close to you until you become available for him.

 

If A does like you, he also sounds young and immature, as he doesn't have the confidence or the know how to make a move.

 

If you do like A, don't waste time questioning who likes who or why someone does one thing or another. You can ask him out and behave more maturely than either guy. Either he's in or not. This is all more simple than A, B and you want to make it.

[PRW]

Well first, is anyone in this story old enough to drive? Just checking. Context is important.

 

"A" doesn't text a lot because he is either scared or smart. Hopefully smart. The phone is for making dates, not for "getting to know someone". If he texted you all the time it would excite you for a little while but eventually you'd get bored with it, then annoyed by it, eventually loose respect for him because he is too easy and predictable. Then you would go out with "B" to get even with him.

 

Now "B". Well "B" is the buddy of "A" and also he is "A's" #1 cock-blocker. He wants to get you, even if it is just for the sport of it (to one-up "A" if nothing else). He gets off on sowing chaos into the situation. He tells you one thing then goes and tell "A" something else (who knows what he tells him?). If he ever gets you he'll go with that for a little while and then dump you for the girl that you already hate the most.

 

Am I anywhere close?

 

I should write romance novels, I think.

[preraph]

Well, let's not lose sight of the fact B is who called you and asked you to get together, not A. A may have found out B was interested and felt he had to back off. B may be using you liking A to get next to you, as an excuse to contact you and lure you out. I wouldn't be too fond of B for what he's doing. I wouldn't trust him. So when you go to his get together, you make it real clear who you like and want to be with, just to unscramble any confusion. A may think you're with B since B asked you. So you just go right to A and set up shop. After all, B did use that to get you to go. So run with it. Then after that if A isn't responsive, you'll know A isn't all that interested. Then B is hoping to catch you on the rebound. But you've pretty much got to play it out. If I were you, I'd text A and tell him B invited you to the thing kept mentioning A's name. In case it's some ambush on A or something. I mean, A could have another female interest, you never know. So try to make contact with him and find out what you'll be walking into and this also makes your allegiance clear if it gets back to B.

[heavenonearth]

My boyfriend is very extroverted and over all a very chatty person, unless he's busy or having a bad day, then he doesn't like to talk at all.

He's also not much of a texter so we tend to call once or twice a day instead of texting throughout.

Sometimes we also text back and forth during the evening when we are both at our respective apartments and just watching tv or something.

 

But we never really text during the day... we got stuff to do.

 

I think if you really like a person you should just call them.

All this texting playing games stuff is just annoying.

Nobody needs that.

 

And you just get upset when someone stops texting much.

[act00]

How did B get your number? Did you provide him with it at the party, or did he acquire it from A? If he acquired it from A, why? I can't think of any scenario where I would provide one of my girlfriends a guy's number who I met at a party two weeks ago and the texting dwindled with no dates or conversation. It's something maybe we would do in high school.

 

A has kind of dropped off the planet, but supposedly talks with his friends about how much you talk...something's off here.

 

B is making major efforts to communicate with you and appears interested, but you have your heart set on A and you've shut him down.

 

You have this love triangle thing happening and relying on A's wingman to arrange a "date" or meeting...do you really want such a lackadaisical, uncommitted man? I mean, ask a girl out. Pee or get off the potty. If he is interested, he needs to extend himself...arrange a date...not have his "bud" make a date or text you back and forth on whether or not you like each other. Plus you're getting too many people involved in this quasi-relationship that doesn't even really exist. Everything you say to B gets shared with A, and you have no control over the delivery.

 

How to act at the outing? Have fun. Talk to A. If he's silent and doesn't engage, move on. I question if he's interested. I mean, he seems to want to put on some persona with his friends, but he's not exactly acting on anything, so it almost seems like saving face over saying he's not that into you...it could be he doesn't know how to proceed. Hard to say. Just have fun and stop this back and forth with B. You don't need a third party managing your relationship. A sounds like a dud, TBH. He dropped texting you and never asked you out.

[todreaminblue]

take option d out......forget a and b ...use the time you would date c to recover from the brain games......and date d who has no trouble in asking you on a date first and shows real interest......

 

unless you guys are all really young ...then have a milkshake with..... wait what...................

 

A is the guy who doesnt text...and b is the go between.

 

 

right back on track again..... take A for a milkshake and a movie and tell him you can relax you know.....i like you too..set b up with a double date and make the date times fun and relaxed.....deb

Edited March 15, 2018 by todreaminblue

[PRW]

I noticed the OP hasn't responded yet.

 

This is probably high school kids and the short attention span has forgotten about us.

She's probably on "E" or "F" by now if not so far down the alphabet she's about to start on the numbers.

[sheilabezi]

I noticed the OP hasn't responded yet.

 

This is probably high school kids and the short attention span has forgotten about us.

She's probably on "E" or "F" by now if not so far down the alphabet she's about to start on the numbers.

 

Nope, I’m right here. I just turned 19 yesterday, A is 19 as well and the others are 21. Me and A are in the middle of our first year in college.

 

I didn’t forget about you guys, I was simply waiting to get more opinions. I really appreciate them!

 

This weird and corny (I admit) story has been updated. Last night, B texted me again and told me “I don’t think you’re going to want to come Friday anymore...A can’t make it”. I then asked him, why don’t we reschedule? Seeing A’s friends without him is simply ridiculous. Also, while he was texting me I found out A and B were together at that moment so I decided to respond the next day (this morning) in order to avoid more awkwardness.

 

B responded not long ago and was once again acting weird. First he told me that me and my friends were more than welcome to meet up with him (and the others) even tho A wouldn’t be there. Then, a couple of minutes later, he texts me again and says “you know what, you should just meet up with A and that’s it. It’s simpler that way. I find it strange that we should all meet up when it’s actually all about you and A”. Mh, why the sudden change of heart pal?

 

I must admit, I was pretty fed up with everything after that. I decided to call him and told him that there’s nothing weird about getting a drink all together. We’re young, that’s what young people do, we hang out. Not to mention that he is the one who proposed all of this in the first place. I also told him that I’m not the type of person who “runs” after a guy. If A really wants to go on a date, he should pick up his damn phone and ask me out. I don’t bite and I made it pretty clear that I liked him too. He then told me that he understands what I’m saying and that I should just wait for A’s text. He finally said that I shouldn’t be upset with A because he’s shy when it comes to these things and isn’t much of a texting person. What frustrates me so much is that I have no clue what A thinks about all of this and I’m pretty sure they must have said something to each other about this last night when they were together.

 

I’m pretty sure I did the right thing, right..? I won’t be avoiding new people while waiting for A’s text, but do I wait at all? The only reason I haven’t deleted his number yet and forgotten about him is because I actually really like him. Yes he seems pretty immature the way I presented him but there’s something about him that makes me want to know more and I can’t help that. The connection was there when we talked, I felt it, and it has been a long time since I’ve felt something like that. I just feel like this entire thing could have ended well and it turned out to be pretty much ridiculous and childish and that’s everything I try to avoid.

[sheilabezi]

You're right and I agree with you. However B is only more of an extrovert than A is. B's intentions are not bad, he's just more "goofy" and dares texting me if that makes any sense. He's told me that A is like a brother to him and that he would never force me to do anything I don't want.

 

As I mentioned down below, A is a shy person when it comes to these things and doesn't like texting that much. I'm a pretty shy person myself so I can relate. The problem is that if we both stay this way, nothing will ever happen.

 

Also, B basically told me that A as well as B were both "into me" and that whatever my choice would be, they would both respect it. That's good and all, but as long as I don't see them, how can I make my choice...? (Even though I already have).

[Purepony]

How did B get your number? Did you provide him with it at the party, or did he acquire it from A? If he acquired it from A, why? I can't think of any scenario where I would provide one of my girlfriends a guy's number who I met at a party two weeks ago and the texting dwindled with no dates or conversation. It's something maybe we would do in high school.

 

A has kind of dropped off the planet, but supposedly talks with his friends about how much you talk...something's off here.

 

B is making major efforts to communicate with you and appears interested, but you have your heart set on A and you've shut him down.

 

You have this love triangle thing happening and relying on A's wingman to arrange a "date" or meeting...do you really want such a lackadaisical, uncommitted man? I mean, ask a girl out. Pee or get off the potty. If he is interested, he needs to extend himself...arrange a date...not have his "bud" make a date or text you back and forth on whether or not you like each other. Plus you're getting too many people involved in this quasi-relationship that doesn't even really exist. Everything you say to B gets shared with A, and you have no control over the delivery.

 

How to act at the outing? Have fun. Talk to A. If he's silent and doesn't engage, move on. I question if he's interested. I mean, he seems to want to put on some persona with his friends, but he's not exactly acting on anything, so it almost seems like saving face over saying he's not that into you...it could be he doesn't know how to proceed. Hard to say. Just have fun and stop this back and forth with B. You don't need a third party managing your relationship. A sounds like a dud, TBH. He dropped texting you and never asked you out.

 

 

 

Yes common scenario because women want what they can’t have

[sheilabezi]

Yes common scenario because women want what they can’t have

 

 

How so? How do I want something that I can’t have?

[Exformer]

If A really wants to go on a date, he should pick up his damn phone and ask me out. I don’t bite and I made it pretty clear that I liked him too.

Or, if you like someone, you can pick up your phone and ask them out... The idea that you don't chase guys or ask guys out...that mindset is unnecessary drama right there.

I just feel like this entire thing could have ended well and it turned out to be pretty much ridiculous and childish and that’s everything I try to avoid.

This could have been as short as you calling the guy you like, but instead, you're wasting time getting annoyed because he's stalling the same as you are...

 

Also, B is a little short now because he's become the go between with two people who won't just say what they want to each other. And one of them is a girl he just went after not long ago.

[kendahke]

This whole scenario is messy a.f.

 

Last night, B texted me again and told me “I don’t think you’re going to want to come Friday anymore...A can’t make it”.

 

while he was texting me I found out A and B were together at that moment

 

A knew you were invited and he backed out. That's what you need to walk away with here.