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-   -   I am a cheap date? (https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/654858-i-am-cheap-date)

kakoy 8th March 2018 3:37 PM

I am a cheap date?
 
Just had a lunch date with this guy and he offhandedly said I was a cheap date since I offered to split the bill! I do that every time but the guys sometime accept and others had refused.

This one accepted and just that I was a cheap date. For some reason, it annoyed me. I have a date tonight and is wondering if I should stop offering.

Does it make a guy value me less if I am willing to pay for myself?

BarbedFenceRider 8th March 2018 3:46 PM

I would think he was being a wise-ass. Making harmless banter after the fact. But if it bothers you..Ask him.

Put it back on him, with a simple question: "Did you feel offended that I offered to pay my way?"

Andy_K 8th March 2018 3:49 PM

It was just an offhand comment.

Also, 'cheap date' doesn't mean 'low value'. It means 'low maintenance', and there's a BIG difference.

Agonistes 8th March 2018 3:51 PM

She should always offer to split. I probably wouldn't accept because I was brought up to pay for my dates and I have the means. I probably wouldn't wise crack about it being a cheap date either. I doubt he meant anything bad by it but wasn't thinking about how his comment could be taken.

alphamale 8th March 2018 3:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kakoy (Post 7553972)
Just had a lunch date with this guy and he offhandedly said I was a cheap date since I offered to split the bill! I do that every time but the guys sometime accept and others had refused.

This one accepted and just that I was a cheap date. For some reason, it annoyed me. I have a date tonight and is wondering if I should stop offering.

Does it make a guy value me less if I am willing to pay for myself?

where did you guys go for lunch?

kakoy 8th March 2018 4:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alphamale (Post 7553988)
where did you guys go for lunch?

Cute French cafe!

CautiouslyOptimistic 8th March 2018 4:15 PM

Keep offering. He should not have said that and should not have accepted your offer.

lurker74 8th March 2018 5:36 PM

I honestly don't see the big deal. I am sure he was just joking and first dates being what they are (especially lunch dates) make most people nervous so I am sure he was just trying to be funny.

And yes, keep offering. And if a first date guy accepts, I would suggest not having a second date (unless you chose the restaurant and it was expensive, in which case I would suggest not having a second date because you shouldn't have to choose the restaurant/bar for the first date).

Just my $.02.

winny 8th March 2018 5:43 PM

He meant that the date was cheap not you.

Shining One 8th March 2018 5:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kakoy (Post 7553972)
Does it make a guy value me less if I am willing to pay for myself?

Speaking for myself, it would make me value you more.

Bobbyb82 8th March 2018 6:08 PM

People might appreciate the "reach" to pay, but he dropped the ball by accepting the offer in my opinion. Speaks more to him.

kakoy 8th March 2018 6:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lurker74 (Post 7554049)
I honestly don't see the big deal. I am sure he was just joking and first dates being what they are (especially lunch dates) make most people nervous so I am sure he was just trying to be funny.

And yes, keep offering. And if a first date guy accepts, I would suggest not having a second date (unless you chose the restaurant and it was expensive, in which case I would suggest not having a second date because you shouldn't have to choose the restaurant/bar for the first date).

Just my $.02.

No, he pick the spot and he ate a full meal while I had dessert + coffee. If anything, I covered his food by splitting.

kakoy 8th March 2018 6:22 PM

Idk why it bothers me. Maybe cause I had guy friends who said I give off a very independent vibe, like I don’t need anyone and I can do anything. But my appearance and my clothing choices suggest a very girly girl who need to be helped.

Guess I am just now paranoid. Still, i am pretty conservative and appreciated a guy paying on the first date but is more than happy to trade off from then on. If I have no interest in the guy, I would insist on paying so they don’t feel taken advantage of.

Yeah, maybe I just won’t go out with him again...

ETD: thanks , shining, for saying it add more value.

smackie9 8th March 2018 6:35 PM

let the guy be a man and let him pay this time.

Erik30 8th March 2018 6:37 PM

I don't think you paying would make most men value you less, but some might think it's a bad sign. Like you don't want to "owe" them anything, because you're not interested. (Might not be true at all) And then you probably have guys who feel they're supposed to pay for the date, cause they're men and all that.

The girl I'm dating right now actually paid for the entire bill on our first date. She didn't offer, but just quickly did it when I went to the bathroom.


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