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I am a cheap date?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 8th March 2018, 6:47 PM   #16
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Im not sure why you ever adopted that policy of offering to pay, but Id recommend that you stop that behavior in its tracks immediately. Youre setting a very bad precedent where men are concerned.

Now, I know people love to debate this issue but my opinion is that you need to let a man know that you have standards and that you expect him to behave in a mature manner and treat you with respect.
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Old 8th March 2018, 6:56 PM   #17
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Im not sure why you ever adopted that policy of offering to pay, but Id recommend that you stop that behavior in its tracks immediately. Youre setting a very bad precedent where men are concerned.

Now, I know people love to debate this issue but my opinion is that you need to let a man know that you have standards and that you expect him to behave in a mature manner and treat you with respect.
I do agree with this. It just puts a question in the guys head about your interest/intentions. One more obstacle.
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Old 8th March 2018, 9:08 PM   #18
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Speaking for myself, it would make me value you more.
I agree with this statement...

I would also value you more. To me, it means you are giving in all aspects, including financial.
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Old 8th March 2018, 9:29 PM   #19
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i would be flattered......i aim to be cheap as a date...i pay my way.....and i prefer to..fi a guy flashes money at me or shows me the content of his wallet .......and throws money at me.....or expects me to pick dishes i cant afford myself .....he isnt the guy for me.......deb
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Old 8th March 2018, 9:58 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Happy Lemming View Post
I agree with this statement...

I would also value you more. To me, it means you are giving in all aspects, including financial.
Me too. Any of the serious gf's I've had offered to pay on the first date. I never accepted, but it speaks VOLUMES as to who they are as a person.

One poster spoke of having standards. I have mine and a girl who doesn't offer to pay falls below them. I find it entitled and selfish not to at least offer.

Sure, I may have sex with her for a few months but after a while I get bored of always footing the bill which is what her not offering usually entails.

They seem surprised when I end it like their vagina is enough to off set the costs. Temporarily perhaps, but not long term.

These are the same type of women who will take you to the cleaners in a divorce. They claim to be traditional yet won't take on other traditional roles like cooking, cleaning, laundry.

You sound like a great woman - keep it up and you'll find a great guy.
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Old 8th March 2018, 10:11 PM   #21
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Idk why it bothers me. Maybe cause I had guy friends who said I give off a very independent vibe, like I dont need anyone and I can do anything. But my appearance and my clothing choices suggest a very girly girl who need to be helped.

Guess I am just now paranoid. Still, i am pretty conservative and appreciated a guy paying on the first date but is more than happy to trade off from then on. If I have no interest in the guy, I would insist on paying so they dont feel taken advantage of.

Yeah, maybe I just wont go out with him again...

ETD: thanks , shining, for saying it add more value.
I really don't think you should take it personally or look into it too much! I agree with others, just an offhand comment and it is nothing about YOU being cheap. If the date was otherwise pleasant, give it another go!

Independence is great!! It doesn't mean you can't have someone in your life by your side. It's a 'nice to have', rather than 'need someone' which is healthy.
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Old 8th March 2018, 10:13 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by todreaminblue View Post
i would be flattered......i aim to be cheap as a date...i pay my way.....and i prefer to..fi a guy flashes money at me or shows me the content of his wallet .......and throws money at me.....or expects me to pick dishes i cant afford myself .....he isnt the guy for me.......deb
Agreed! And offering to pay your share is the polite thing to do.

21st century!!
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Old 8th March 2018, 10:15 PM   #23
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Sure, I may have sex with her for a few months but after a while I get bored of always footing the bill which is what her not offering usually entails.

They seem surprised when I end it like their vagina is enough to off set the costs. Temporarily perhaps, but not long term.

These are the same type of women who will take you to the cleaners in a divorce. They claim to be traditional yet won't take on other traditional roles like cooking, cleaning, laundry.
OMG!! SO TRUE!!

Early on in my present relationship, I was cooking dinner and my girlfriend started complaining about me not taking her out that night and being cheap.

So, I took a post-it note & wrote "DOOR" on it and put it on the front door of my home. She asked what is that for?? I said "Apparently, you forgot where the door is... If you are going to continue to put me down or complain, I suggest you use that thing marked "DOOR"."
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Old 8th March 2018, 10:24 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by smiley1 View Post
Agreed! And offering to pay your share is the polite thing to do.

21st century!!
it is ...i feel its considerate and thoughtful to not expect others to pay...

if i cant afford to pay for my meal.....then i shouldnt be eating or frequenting a place that's out of my budget.....i have been taken to really upscale restaurants on dates...and i really don't feel at home somewhere i look at the menu and want to throw up because i finally understood why i felt uneasy sitting there...i prefer cheese on a beach.....with the ocean as my ambience.....the food tastes so good......deb.....
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Old 8th March 2018, 10:26 PM   #25
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Me too. Any of the serious gf's I've had offered to pay on the first date. I never accepted, but it speaks VOLUMES as to who they are as a person.
I've never accepted any thing other than she picking up the tip. i know it feels good when they offer, but in the time I've been reading this forum, I've seen may be 3 or 4 threads written by women who were anfry because their date accepted a split. They did it as a sh*t test. I know that's not A whole lot but if you really think about, there are a lot more who feel that way, but don't bother to write. They know everyone is going to ask WTH and take the guy's side, which is exactly the way those threads went. So they just move on.
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Old 8th March 2018, 10:55 PM   #26
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Thanks, guys! Well, I insist on splitting with my dinner date tonight. It was our 2nd date and I am definitely not interested, so I would never let him pay. Kind of funny, lunch date texted while I was preparing for dinner date. He is awkward, so that explain the comment?

I think I agree with most of you; I can afford my own food and doesnt need anyone to pay for me. After finishing training next year, I will make at least 2.5 times more than these gentleman, so money isnt an issue. I just dont understand this new world of dating. Why is it so confusing?!?!?

Maybe I should just find a trophy husband instead of an equal! 😓

Thanks for humoring me guys!😊
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Old 8th March 2018, 11:28 PM   #27
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It's just a smart ass comment that guys say that think makes them so clever. Pay it no mind. (Literally and figuratively.)
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Old 8th March 2018, 11:28 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by Happy Lemming View Post
OMG!! SO TRUE!!

Early on in my present relationship, I was cooking dinner and my girlfriend started complaining about me not taking her out that night and being cheap.

So, I took a post-it note & wrote "DOOR" on it and put it on the front door of my home. She asked what is that for?? I said "Apparently, you forgot where the door is... If you are going to continue to put me down or complain, I suggest you use that thing marked "DOOR"."
Lol! Good for you dude!
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Old 8th March 2018, 11:33 PM   #29
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I just think if a new guy asks you out, you let him at least pay for the first date and do not offer or anything. Now, if he asks you for a second date and you have enough money that it's no hardship, you can always say, Okay, if you buy the movie tickets, I'll buy the refreshments. Or just wait until you're there and say, Oh, no, you got the tickets. I'm paying for our popcorn. That's how I usually would do. But not the first date. Honestly, to me this would be after a couple of dates at least. But why split hairs.


Only after you know them well enough, you can offer to buy the drinks since he bought the dinner, but don't do it until you know him awhile. Plenty of guys would take advantage of that and really run up a bill and get crazy drunk and out of control. People are absolutely crazy about free drinks.

Some people are real sticklers about if you invite them out, the inviter must pay for everything. This varies by locale. Mostly it's not that way where I live, but I do have one friend who will jack me up saying we should hang soon and then I'll call him for lunch and he expects me to pay. I mean, he's not a date either. And I can only think of one time he's said "I'll pay this time." It's annoying and I don't get together with him as often because of it. You don't dare offer to buy drinks with him. You're lucky if it's lunchtime and he's not still up from the night before (DJ alcoholic).
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Old 8th March 2018, 11:34 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by kakoy View Post
Just had a lunch date with this guy and he offhandedly said I was a cheap date since I offered to split the bill! I do that every time but the guys sometime accept and others had refused.
I agree with everyone else - it was a joke. He just meant it in the way that he didn't have to spend as much money as he normally might. Don't read into it, there isn't anything to read into
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