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I think I'm kind of interested in a girl who cuts my hair...


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Old 8th March 2018, 3:11 AM   #1
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I think I'm kind of interested in a girl who cuts my hair...

...The first time was last year and I just got her at random as “first available”. She just seemed really… almost sensual about the way she worked, plus she was easy to talk to. I left that day feeling awesome, which was a welcome break from the depression I’d been dealing with since the divorce. I didn’t get her name while I was there, but fortunately the store provided it as part of my survey, or e-receipt or something they emailed me. Anyway, every time I’ve gone back since, I requested her by name, and she never disappoints.

And I’m usually not very good at conversation, but with her sometimes it just flows so well. When she dyed her own hair purple, I mentioned that she reminds me of Ramona from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, and she said that’s one of her favorite movies. When she mentioned an interest in Indian food, I suggested a restaurant that she should try. When she talked about the difficulties of being nearsighted and unable to find her glasses, I mentioned the trick of using your phone’s camera to see, and she was floored by that idea.

When we discovered that I work near where she lives and we both love a Mexican restaurant in that area, I suggested that on days when she’s home during my lunch hour we could meet for lunch somewhere, and she seemed completely receptive to that.

So yes, she makes me feel great, but I know that's part of her job. Maybe she’s just really good at it. So, how can I tell if she’s truly interested or if it’s all an act? For all I know, her employer could have even trained her on a set of procedures and boundaries for stylists interacting with clients who seem a little too interested.

The signs that seem positive...
  • She remembered the Indian restaurant I had suggested, and mentioned on my next visit that she had tried it and liked it too.
  • She seems a bit goofy around me sometimes. Once she struggled with the spray bottle’s nozzle that was shooting a stream instead of a mist, so she (accidentally?) demonstrated by spraying the wall with it, giggling quietly that she’ll get kicked out. Another time at check-out they were doing some kind of scratch-off promotion to find out what kind of discount I’ll get, and she scratched at least 20 cards looking for one that would give me a bigger discount but they were all small ones so she kept trying, then finally gave up and used a small one, and gathered all the wasted cards and threw them out to “hide the evidence.”
  • When I finally asked if she’d like to call me to meet for lunch sometime, she wrote down and gave me HER number.
  • When she asked how I like my new car, she mentioned that she watched me drive away after my last visit.
  • When she mentioned that she went out of town for Valentine’s Day, she seemed to quickly add that she was accompanying a friend who was getting a tattoo there.
  • Without even asking my name or checking the list, her coworkers knew when they saw me walk in that I had requested her. Is she talking to them about me?

The signs that seem negative…
  • Every attempt so far to arrange meeting for lunch was missed for various reasons, like when she didn’t see my voicemail until 2 days later, or when she forgot to hit send on her text reply. She seems sorry and embarrassed, but couldn’t that easily be part of the act?
  • She has only texted me in response (albeit very delayed at times), but never initiated on her own. She did warn me that she’s the “world’s worst texter” though.
  • It’s hard to tell, but she could be anywhere from a few to way too many years younger than me.
  • I might have caught her in a white lie when I brought up the Olympics. First she said she wasn't watching any of it because she doesn't have cable or an antenna. Then when I said I watched a little bit of curling, she said excitedly, "so did I!" But sure, it's just small talk and she probably has to fake engaging conversation with guys all day long so there's bound to be a slip here or there. I'm just wondering how fake she is with me compared to the rest. This is where I hope seeing her outside of her workplace should help.

So, where should I go from here? Keep trying to set up a lunch?

A few months ago I purchased two tickets to a concert in hopes that I would have somebody to bring with me by now. I still don’t, so I took the bold step of offering the extra ticket to her. Unfortunately she has to work too late that day to make it. Probably for the best; we should stick to trying to set up a simple lunch for now, right?

And if we do start meeting for lunch and maybe seeing each other more, what happens with my hair cuts? Do I need to find another stylist? (Didn’t Seinfeld do an episode about this?)

I guess the big question is what do I want right now. And the best response I have is that for now I just want to keep feeling the way she makes me feel, and hopefully find that I’m doing something similar for her.
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Old 8th March 2018, 6:07 AM   #2
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Right now you are in danger of becoming infatuated with this girl as she is showing some friendly interest.

Firstly it sounds like she does enjoy your company, but remember she is probably like that with most people as in that line of business repeat customers are important.

What you need to do is stop going there for this friendly chit chat. You already have her number so arrange a meetup. No not a concert, something light like lunch or drinks.

If she continues to make excuses, and does not offer alternative dates, then shes just not that into you.

Do update us.
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Old 8th March 2018, 6:16 AM   #3
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Sorry mate, this is pretty much normal hairdresser repertoire.

A good hairdresser is a master of small talk, the keeper of secrets, remembers stuff about us and is expert at making us feel special and remembered It's why too many of us pay far too much for a haircut.
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Old 8th March 2018, 7:53 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Flame Aura View Post
Right now you are in danger of becoming infatuated with this girl as she is showing some friendly interest.

Firstly it sounds like she does enjoy your company, but remember she is probably like that with most people as in that line of business repeat customers are important.

What you need to do is stop going there for this friendly chit chat. You already have her number so arrange a meetup. No not a concert, something light like lunch or drinks.

If she continues to make excuses, and does not offer alternative dates, then shes just not that into you.

Do update us.

I agree with the above comments. You have to remember she is at work and sees you as another client/customer. She may be friendly to you because of her job but it doesn't mean she is romantically linked to you.


Also don't go overboard by asking a near stranger out to lunch or a concert. These are grans gestures but only maybe use them it you are dating them.


Smart off small first by asking her for her number and if she decliens then you know where you stand. Its best to ask them out earlier than later because she could just see you as another customer or being friend zoned,.


Now, good luck out there.
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Old 8th March 2018, 9:21 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
Sorry mate, this is pretty much normal hairdresser repertoire.

A good hairdresser is a master of small talk, the keeper of secrets, remembers stuff about us and is expert at making us feel special and remembered It's why too many of us pay far too much for a haircut.
Guys pay less for a haircut, but in essence the above is true. Just watch the hairdresser interact with other clients and you should have a good idea of how it works.
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Old 8th March 2018, 9:34 AM   #6
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I think you are misinterpreting good customer service for genuine interest.
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Old 8th March 2018, 9:51 AM   #7
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You think you're kind of interested? The title of your thread suggests you're not quite sure whether you like her yourself...

Maybe it's just you showing the first promising signs that you are moving on from your divorce and you're trialling these new feelings (testing you've still got what it takes in an indirect way) to a near-improbable prospect?
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Old 8th March 2018, 9:54 AM   #8
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Based on how lengthy your post is, I’d say you’re way too obsessed over this One girl, which is a bad place to be in.

You’ve made attempts to ask her to do stuff with you and she’s never agreeing, always saying she’s busy and being dodgy. If you had any chance at all, you missed your chance. Should have asked her out right away, instead it sounds like you texted her way too much and chit-chatted. Also, a lunch isn’t a good first date, it comes off as too much of “friendzone” kind of thing. Always try to go get drinks or do an activity at evening/night so it’s very clear that it’s a “date” and not just a friendly thing.

Your best chance to get back into having a chance with this girl is to move on. Stop texting her completely and just treat her as you would a hairdresser you have no interest in. If you’re lucky and she’s still into it, she might wonder why you suddenly cut contact and become interested again.
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Old 8th March 2018, 9:57 AM   #9
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I can't for the life of me remember who it is right now, but I know I know someone who ended up marrying their hairdresser. Although I think the relationship started as an affair. Obviously, I don't know this person well since I can't recall who it is!

Anyway, I think the only really positive sign here is that she gave you her phone number. The negatives are how many times she's come up with excuses to not actually go on any kind of date with you (two tries for lunch and one try for the concert).

I'd stop trying at this point and see if she initiates anything other than what hairdressers are trained to do....remember minute details of their clients' lives in order to make conversation and/or provide therapy (Just me? ok... )
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Old 8th March 2018, 11:27 AM   #10
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Digital devices make life way too easy to bail out when you want too without having to face the human, hurting someone selfishly is so much easier these days because you don't have to feel the awkward guilt when they don't exist except in your phone contacts list. I don't like it at all and yet here I am typing on the internet with complete strangers.

"I forgot to hit send" What the hell is that excuse? Lame.

Next time you see her I'd look at her directly in the eyes and tell her you want a proper date. I wouldn't ask either. I'd say something like,

"When do you get off on XXXX day? I have something planned for us".

If she dodges that, let it go. she's eluding for some reason.
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Old 8th March 2018, 11:30 AM   #11
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Digital devices make life way too easy to bail out when you want too without having to face the human, hurting someone selfishly is so much easier these days because you don't have to feel the awkward guilt when they don't exist except in your phone contacts list. I don't like it at all and yet here I am typing on the internet with complete strangers.

"I forgot to hit send" What the hell is that excuse? Lame.

Next time you see her I'd look at her directly in the eyes and tell her you want a proper date. I wouldn't ask either. I'd say something like,

"When do you get off on XXXX day? I have something planned for us".

If she dodges that, let it go. she's eluding for some reason.
I think he should only use this approach if he's prepared to lose her as a hairdresser or if he doesn't care that it would be awkward to still have her as his stylist if she rejects him.
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Old 8th March 2018, 11:37 AM   #12
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Have you not seen the hot/crazy matrix?
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Old 8th March 2018, 11:51 AM   #13
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I think he should only use this approach if he's prepared to lose her as a hairdresser or if he doesn't care that it would be awkward to still have her as his stylist if she rejects him.

Perhaps true. I would tend to agree with you.
I could personally deal with it and go back for professional purposes only. I'd certainly be changing my attitude and watched my body language closely as to not put off weird signals. Be polite, charming, friendly, but not overly personal.
You never really know what's in a person head or heart so if the pressure were off, something just might come of it. Probably not, but maybe.

It's ironic because this has actually happened to me. I found her super cute, funny, charming, sexy, smart, etc.....
I asked her out only to get a maybe. I got her number instead. Communicated some there to find out she has a LDR already. I don't want to be involved in all that so I stopped asking for dates. Still text her when I need a hair cut though.

Last edited by Mr.Me; 8th March 2018 at 11:54 AM..
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Old 8th March 2018, 11:59 AM   #14
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she's being nice/flirty with you because she works for tips
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Old 8th March 2018, 1:25 PM   #15
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If she was interested you would gone out by now. I would let this one go...

I am sure she does talk about you to her co workers, but not in the way you hope! likely more in the its so sweet this guy has a crush on me!
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