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Am I just overly thinking or dunno...


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Old 8th March 2018, 1:40 PM   #16
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I think you need to give him space and tell him to get things taken care of and if he needs anything he can contact you, otherwise you will be giving him space and not be contacting him. This is going to take some time and sounds like you should not be in the middle of this.
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Old 8th March 2018, 2:03 PM   #17
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It sounds like it just dawned on him that being with other women is going to impede the custody process. My guess is that is why he blocked you, because he was trying to prove he wasn't that involved. You are going to be a hindrance now to how much custody he gets. My opinion, unless there is drunk driving or drugs involved on his side or on your side, or some other legal problems, he will still get at least part custody and she will not be able to move out of state. But judges totally frown upon having who you're dating being around the kids even without anything they can criticize you for. It confuses the kids.

So he is about to find out how hard it's going to be for him to just continue doing what he's doing without risking custody and losing some rights. And now he's also getting a taste of what it would be like if he got the norm, joint custody and had to do everything for the kids for those 3 and a half days a week every week, missing work, learning to cook, clean, dress the kids, and be their taxi. And he's not going to be allowed to let you help. Even if custody is decided, if one of the parents brings someone around the kids who has any issues, they can always petition the court again to revise the custody.

This is not a fun process to go through. It's horrible for all concerned, and the very best thing you could do for him during all this until custody is all settled is ............nothing.
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Old 8th March 2018, 2:12 PM   #18
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Too much baggage to be involved in a relationship. It would be in his and his son's best interest for you to be out of the picture. This is his battle to fight on his own.
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Old 8th March 2018, 2:20 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by CheskaOX View Post
I have spoken to him last night, since he unblocked my number on WHATSAPP and he had mentioned that he is terribly sorry by all means especially ghosting on me and others that include his kid and his soon to be ex wife. He is overwhelmed especially the fact the divorce that is about to happen where his son mom is telling him that she doesn't want their son around me and he is afraid to loose his son over sole custody plus he is afraid that she might move the baby out of state/country if she wins sole custody where he hopes not. I had spoken to a lawyer for him this morning during orientation that I had to attend for work this morning and it seems that his baby mama is threatening him to scare him.
OMG, walk away! you are not his priority at all. But sounds like your happy to stumble along with this guy, good luck as your going need it!
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Old 8th March 2018, 4:35 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by CheskaOX View Post
I have spoken to him last night, since he unblocked my number on WHATSAPP and he had mentioned that he is terribly sorry by all means especially ghosting on me and others that include his kid and his soon to be ex wife. He is overwhelmed especially the fact the divorce that is about to happen where his son mom is telling him that she doesn't want their son around me and he is afraid to loose his son over sole custody plus he is afraid that she might move the baby out of state/country if she wins sole custody where he hopes not. I had spoken to a lawyer for him this morning during orientation that I had to attend for work this morning and it seems that his baby mama is threatening him to scare him.
I'm going to say that if he disappeared on you, is acting confused, blocked you to "deal with his problems" and by all accounts has a lot of sh*t going on AND you don't even really know if you can trust him---then by all means you should NOT be consulting lawyers on his behalf. You are barely even a girlfriend and that is in question at the moment to be honest. If you want to know where you stand with him and if he will step up for you and if he has the capacity for a gf now, don't do the legwork for him regarding his divorce, child custody etc. Me thinks you want this far too much and that is what he will think too. It will either come off as unwanted pressure OR he will take any help and support you are giving, use you for it and then move on when things are sorted out. Not to mention if the ex finds out that you are helping him with matters like this, it's likely to really get her upset and retaliatory.

If you want to be a girlfriend, then act like a girlfriend. Not a step baby momma or his mom or his protector. As a girl he is dating and if you had confidence about this relationship, you should be able to take a step back--yet you are pushing forward. Not good.

I should have put it in my initial post, because I had a feeling that you were going to justify everything thing he did & maybe even lash out when you don't like the opinions you are reading here. It looks like it's about a landslide consensus that this situation is bad news. You'd be smart to take a step back and protect yourself until you really know what is going on and there is some resolution with the other huge parts of his life. Good luck
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