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Old 7th March 2018, 3:44 PM   #1
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What do you think?

Hello you all,

So, I've dated a guy (29) since the beginning of January. It was fantastic. But.. I ruined it kind off. On one of our dates his ex called him. He tried to assure me it didn't mean anything, but it got on in my head. I got anxious and I was a bit stressed. It caused a bit drama on some of our dates. In the end, we got in a fight over Whatsapp (stupid I know) and that was the end of our 7 dates. He didn't chat with me for the whole day (though he was non stop online) and I got angry and suspicious. He broke it off. He said we didn't know each other that well, that it should be fun and yes, he was right. Maybe I pushed him too much.

I was so sad for a while and so angry at my self. I even texted him after a week telling him I missed him. After a clear response he didn't felt this way, I left him alone. Oh god I cried, but I stayed patient as I felt hopefull him coming back one day and give me a second chance.

And he did. After a few weeks of nc he texted me. I was so happy and sursprised it actually happened. I knew it! I texted back and the convo was the standard stuff. But, after this day, he didn't text me for a week. I texted him asking what he was doing and just a few hours later we saw each other. It was so amazing, we fell in love with each other again (it felt for me this way though). It was so special, I don't know. We have this connection. So yes, sorry people, i slept over. We did it all over again a few days later. This time we made a walk trough the forest in the morning.

But now, sometimes I'm wondering if it's just one-sided. He didn't contact me since our goodbye like 40 hours ago. If I see our text history I'm most the one who starts the textting thing. Sometimes I think, don't worry Danie, if it's love it will develop, this must be love. But as i'm falling more in love, i'm slightly starting to worry. I don't want to get hurt a second time. But I don't want to loose him either. I promised myself to take it more easy.

Whats your point of view?
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Old 7th March 2018, 3:59 PM   #2
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it was probably his GF texting/calling him, not his ex.
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Old 7th March 2018, 4:04 PM   #3
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Yep, that's actually right. Love makes us all a fool, no.
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Old 7th March 2018, 4:07 PM   #4
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Yup you be actin a bit cray cray. You are not a complete part of his life, or a part of his life, so you better take a few steps back.

Once you have met his family, friends, been to a few family dinners, he reciprocates communication and makes full effort to see you, etc, that's when you have a winner. A man has to earn your love and respect....and your heart.
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Old 7th March 2018, 4:26 PM   #5
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Nothing wrong with getting mad when the ex calls IF you have had the talk about being exclusive and both agreed to it. At that point is when you get in agreement about calls from the ex are not acceptable, or are, whatever the case may be they are still in contact. You don't make an exclusive agreement until your answers are satisfied on the subject. If you don't know or understand the nature of their relationship and he's not ready to ditch the ex, then don't be exclusive and keep dating other guys and him too. During that time, invite the ex to dinner if you want to see what it looks like she's up to. This will tell you a lot. And his reaction to your inviting her will tell you a LOT. Like was said above, once you know his friends and family, then you have a better idea of the situation. If someone is going to be active friends with an ex, IMO, they need to invite the current gf/bf along and see if they can ALL be friends or not.
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Old 7th March 2018, 6:28 PM   #6
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Take a deep breath.

Ask yourself if you are moving or falling for him too fast. How would you feel about someone new you liked, but who liked you a whole lot more than you liked them? They wanted things to move much quicker than you wanted to, what would you do about that?

You need to probably slow yourself down a little. This can both help keep you from getting hurt more than you might, but also has the best chance of keeping you and him moving along at the same pace as one another.

I'm not saying you need to give him a cold shoulder or ignore him or anything like that. You should just go out and do something else with someone else (girl, guy, doesn't matter). Have a Danie day. Make it a rule not to talk about this guy while you're out and don't check your phone about him. Let someone else talk to you about their problems to give yourself a mini-vacation from your own head. We all need that from time to time.

Not everyone falls in love at the same pace, and if you can stop yourself from going too fast then you're less likely to hurt as much if things don't work out.

Last edited by PrincessPeach; 7th March 2018 at 6:30 PM..
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