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Can you fall in love with someone but not see a future together?


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Old 7th March 2018, 9:33 AM   #16
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Your EX is a master manipulator.

He's not in love with her or you. He does enjoy toying with your emotions. You have to stop letting him.
She's been asking the same question for months now...

Not sure what kind of a hold he has on OP or why she is willing to settle for so little... But yes, this is not love.
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Old 7th March 2018, 9:50 AM   #17
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Absolutely!
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Old 7th March 2018, 10:45 AM   #18
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Since everyone defines 'in love' individually, it's tough to generalize. However, I first learned about it in my early 20's with MW's who enjoyed the 'in love' feelings of the moment but had no interest in upsetting their children or husbands. Purely a thing of the moment, sometimes repeated periodically. It really wasn't about the man, rather how they felt. Men are interchangeable.

With this guy it's sex with his 'partner'. He can wet his noodle and not love her, or you, and not see a future together with either of you. It's all about him, his dopamine, his serotonin, his buzz in the balls. Sure, he might give you a chance to love him again if you do things just right, you know, fix all those personal defects. Sound healthy to you?
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Old 7th March 2018, 11:56 AM   #19
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OP isn't really helping us understand the full story, just posting one liners. I'm guessing there are a lot more issues going on here...
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Old 7th March 2018, 11:58 AM   #20
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This sounds more like you've fallen in love with how you feel when you're with that person, not that person, necessarily.

That's what most people mean in the early stages when it's impossible to know the other person well enough yet to make that determination.

But I gather this has nothing to do with that and more to do with you don't know what to do with yourself because your ex has moved on to someone and he's acting like she means something to him.
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Old 7th March 2018, 12:52 PM   #21
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OP isn't really helping us understand the full story, just posting one liners. I'm guessing there are a lot more issues going on here...
You'd need to go back thru her history, and see that she's hung up on a loser who broke up with her a year ago.

She's still trying to figure him out.
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Old 7th March 2018, 2:32 PM   #22
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Will he probably ask for me back when he has seen that I have moved on?
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Old 7th March 2018, 2:45 PM   #23
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Will he probably ask for me back when he has seen that I have moved on?

You didn't move on though, you are merely posting cryptic thread after cryptic thread on LS. And probably not explaining your full story because deep down you know that if everyone knew the full story you'd get an answer your wouldn't like.
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Old 7th March 2018, 2:49 PM   #24
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Old 7th March 2018, 3:37 PM   #25
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Will he probably ask for me back when he has seen that I have moved on?
Probably because he likes playing with your emotions. You won't really have moved on. He'll come back. You will fall for it again. He'll cheat & lie some more then leave you again once he has you & this will start all over again.

If you were well & truly done, all the begging & apologies in the world would not move you to reconcile with him. He's a terrible BF. Be kinder to yourself then to take his sorry butt back.
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Old 7th March 2018, 4:01 PM   #26
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Will he probably ask for me back when he has seen that I have moved on?
If you've moved on, it won't matter if he asks you back.
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Old 7th March 2018, 4:03 PM   #27
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Will he probably ask for me back when he has seen that I have moved on?
If you've moved on, it won't matter.

Sounds like he's got you waiting in the wings in case he needs a fall back, which means you haven't moved on yet.

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I get really upset with him when he lies and I say mean things to him.
He's also been working the perfect excuse to blame you for any wavering on his part, by claiming that getting back together in six months rests on whether he sees enough improvement from you...that improvement having to do with your negative comments, which come out because you don't like it when he lies.

So, in this scenario, he would come back to you in six months, but now you can only have positive comments about his lies.

He's avoiding blame and projecting problems onto you. This is a common manipulation tactic.

In the meantime, he's free to date and invest in this other girl. If his relationship fails early, you're willing to take him back, until he's inevitably ready to find someone new... at which time, he'll site the same excuses he used to exit the relationship the first time. If he doesn't want to end the relationship with the other girl at six months, he can just say that you haven't changed enough, or that he "needs more time," and he'll keep you waiting indefinitely.
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Old 7th March 2018, 4:13 PM   #28
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Does this kind of thing happen?
yes it has happened to me a few times.....looked past the feelings and didn't like what I saw. There was too much not right. Never regretted my decision to get out.

The kool thing about was, I ran into them years later, and felt nothing for them. Didn't miss them one bit.
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Old 7th March 2018, 4:20 PM   #29
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This is just his manipulative way to keep two women at once (or more) and try to keep them from being mad about that. See, a lot of men don't share your dream of finding one right guy and marrying him happily ever after. Some men, their dream is to get as many women lined up to have sex with as possible without them all being mad at him. That is where the manipulation comes in. He gives you false hope that he REALLY might love only you. That's a load. You need to drop him and block him and find someone who wants what you want.
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Old 7th March 2018, 6:07 PM   #30
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Yes. Most of my past relationships were like this.
I always dated younger guys and knew most of my relationships were temporary.
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