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Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 7th March 2018, 1:31 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
But you're probably not following the advice of this Corey Wayne character I keep hearing about, and instead just following the gut of Highndry, am I right?
Honestly though, I've watched his stuff and one thing that I tend to agree with that has worked is to play it cool and not show her your feelings too soon. Women like the chase, they'll even admit that themselves sometimes. When they know a guy likes them, it's no longer interesting and not fun. They have the validation they need knowing they could have them. People want what they can't have to an extent.

So, there's definitley a way to show you're interested and like them without being over-eager, and it's a fine line and kind of an artform. My last date that I posted about on here about a month ago, I took that direct approach on the second date and basically told her I was into her, and asked her out again the following day and she basically freaked out.
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Old 7th March 2018, 1:34 AM   #17
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Honestly though, I've watched his stuff and one thing that I tend to agree with that has worked is to play it cool and not show her your feelings too soon. Women like the chase, they'll even admit that themselves sometimes. When they know a guy likes them, it's no longer interesting and not fun. They have the validation they need knowing they could have them. People want what they can't have to an extent.

So, there's definitley a way to show you're interested and like them without being over-eager, and it's a fine line and kind of an artform. My last date that I posted about on here about a month ago, I took that direct approach on the second date and basically told her I was into her, and asked her out again the following day and she basically freaked out.
That's because she wasn't really into you like that. If she was, that wouldn't have freaked her out.

Main point is, if a girl you're seriously dating likes you, then you can pretty much do no wrong, lol.
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Old 7th March 2018, 1:36 AM   #18
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I think what's been happening to me lately is that because I've had less options as of late, I'm acting way too keen on these first and second dates. I think initially women are physically attracted to me and find me really interesting but then when they meet me they've been getting weirded out that I'm into them and like them so much so quickly, at least it seems that way. Or maybe they think I'm only interested in sex or hooking up so they bail, though definitely didn't give off that vibe on this date. I did kind of go for a kiss at times when I shouldn't have, but I acted respectful, I paid for her, held the door, told her I was glad she was home safe, didn't try to convince her to go home with me or anything like that.
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Old 7th March 2018, 1:40 AM   #19
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That's because she wasn't really into you like that. If she was, that wouldn't have freaked her out.

Main point is, if a girl you're seriously dating likes you, then you can pretty much do no wrong, lol.
You're right it's definitely much much easier when the girl is extremely into you, they make everything easy for you and they don't nitpick and they reach out, respond and you usually don't have to do any guesswork. But, those kinds of women I haven't really found very often. And when I do, they aren't women I'm highly attracted to in any way. It's true that women that have a lot more options are much harder to court, you really have to have some luck and good timing.
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Old 7th March 2018, 1:43 AM   #20
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Recently I've been meeting a lot of women who make the initial approach and everything extremely easy--like even grabbing my phone and putting their number into it and telling me to call or text them to hang out, or rubbing against me making it blatantly obvious they want to talk, or even coming up and initiating the conversation themselves. But then when I hang out and go on a date with them, they change their mind in a heartbeat. So whatever I'm doing to attract them, I'm doing the opposite when we meet one on one on a date. I must somehow be acting different and don't realize it, becuase I don't get how they'll go from being that insanely into me to literally ditching me and ghosting the following day. I've been ghosted competley now by the last two women I've been on dates with, and to be honest that's happened to me maybe 3-4 times EVER in the last 2 years, and I've been on dates with over 50 women. Almost always we go on a second or third date or longer, or they tell me straight up they are not interested.
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Old 7th March 2018, 1:53 AM   #21
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Recently I've been meeting a lot of women who make the initial approach and everything extremely easy--like even grabbing my phone and putting their number into it and telling me to call or text them to hang out, or rubbing against me making it blatantly obvious they want to talk, or even coming up and initiating the conversation themselves. But then when I hang out and go on a date with them, they change their mind in a heartbeat. So whatever I'm doing to attract them, I'm doing the opposite when we meet one on one on a date. I must somehow be acting different and don't realize it, becuase I don't get how they'll go from being that insanely into me to literally ditching me and ghosting the following day. I've been ghosted competley now by the last two women I've been on dates with, and to be honest that's happened to me maybe 3-4 times EVER in the last 2 years, and I've been on dates with over 50 women. Almost always we go on a second or third date or longer, or they tell me straight up they are not interested.
Could just be as simple as they didn't feel any chemistry with you on the date.
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Old 7th March 2018, 2:06 AM   #22
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Could just be as simple as they didn't feel any chemistry with you on the date.
Except I usually can tell when that's the case. This girl really seemed like she was feeling chemistry. I can tell when they're not--well, I thought I could.
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Old 7th March 2018, 2:10 AM   #23
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I still don't understand your logic. You think she's not interested or playing games because you've had to wait 6 hours for her reply. But previously you were silent for 2 days. We are all human beings, we all have feelings. She texted you 20 minutes after the first date. Doesn't that count for something?
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Old 7th March 2018, 4:08 AM   #24
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So, there's definitley a way to show you're interested and like them without being over-eager, and it's a fine line and kind of an artform. My last date that I posted about on here about a month ago, I took that direct approach on the second date and basically told her I was into her, and asked her out again the following day and she basically freaked out.
I would never ever tell a girl I had just started dating "I was into them", and it's got nothing to do with playing games.

I assume they know I'm interested if I'm asking them out.

And i won't know if I'm really into them for some time.
I might really fancy them and be very attracted but I'm not going to be really into them after just 2 or 3 dates...
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Old 7th March 2018, 4:24 AM   #25
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Went on a first date with a busy girl on Sunday night, she contacted me and told me she was going to be free and we went out for drinks. I thought it was a fantastic date. We were both clearly attracted and into each other. She was asking a lot of questions, laughing etc, no silences or anything just a really great naturally flowing date. We made out during the date and after at the end.

She texted me about 20 minutes after the date saying “thanks again. Tonight was fun!” I replied “yeah you’re awesome, I had a really fun time too, glad you got home safe”

I figured for sure date two should be in store. For once I thought I literally did nothing wrong. I felt really good about this date one of the first dates I’ve had in long time that went this well. Well, I didn’t text at all the following day, neither did she, just let the initial date pass.

I texted her today (2 Days after) and asked her how her week was and then asked if she could as available to go out again this weekend (came up with the plan, date and time). No response though it said she read my message it’s been over 6 hours. I had also sent her a video on Instagram I found that reminded me of our date conversation and joked around—she also read that but did not respond.

There were only two possible things that stood out to me on the date. #1) she did go to the bathroom a good deal with her phone—3-4 times during the 4 hour date. She said it because she was drinking a lot of water (which she was). However, she also mentioned that she was supposed to be hearing from her dance instructor (who’s a guy) and that they were supposed to meet up (which I thought was weird, who meets up with someone after 10pm on a Sunday unless you’re hooking up?) but she said he never contacted her. Date ended because she had to wake up early for work the next day. Which is understandable. I thought I did nothing wrong. Perhaps there were times I got a little too touchy feelt like scratching her back and stuff and going in for kisses maybe when she wasn’t quite prepared but she reciprocated and continued the kiss into a make out each time.

So an example of a perfect date that has now ended up in me being ghosted. Only thing I can think of is that she’s seeing someone else, and maybe decided that she’s going to stay with him? I’m very confused because I thought I played my cards right and thought for sure there was reciprocated interest.
I don't know man. But to me if figuring a woman out is this much of a headache, I would not bother wanting to follow-up at this point. Maybe you waited too long to contact her, though she blew you off for weeks so I can't see that being a deal breaker. But I would probably not pursue if she was so hard to nail down.

If you contact her again, don't say "I guess the date didn't go as planned"...just ask her out again like nothing happened. Personally, I wouldn't bother. But to each their own.
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Old 7th March 2018, 5:45 AM   #26
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I still don't understand your logic. You think she's not interested or playing games because you've had to wait 6 hours for her reply. But previously you were silent for 2 days. We are all human beings, we all have feelings. She texted you 20 minutes after the first date. Doesn't that count for something?
I agree, waiting six hours for a text, there could be any reason why this happens. I sometimes don't reply to texts for hours, because they come through to me at work and we have terrible reception. They randomly ding in my pocket if I get a bit of reception I'll have a quick glance and if it's important I'll call the person back off the landline, otherwise I have to wait until I get out of the building to reply so it will send.
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Old 7th March 2018, 6:22 AM   #27
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So I'll wait another full week (in the meantime talk to and date other women), and if I don't hear from her, I'll text her again and check in. Might say, "Hey haven't heard from you, guess the date didn't go as well as thought huh?".
Yikes, that's a great way to guarantee you never see her again... also why the rush to "date and talk to" other women...? Can't you (or anyone) just live your life without scrambling to meet people to fill the void of one lukewarm date?
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Old 7th March 2018, 10:16 AM   #28
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She's a very busy girl, she works 4 jobs and in previous text encounters could take literally hours to respond,
Why did you pick her to date? She has no time.

When I was online I passed all those that worked around the clock or had different schedule than me. I wanted a boyfriend not a correspondent.

You need to better identify the good and the bad candidates. If you like seeing a woman a couple of times a week or more, if you like a woman that can keep in touch regularly, if you like someone that will be 'present' in your dating life then skip all those 'busy' women and keep searching.
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Old 7th March 2018, 10:19 AM   #29
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Might say, "Hey haven't heard from you, guess the date didn't go as well as thought huh?"
Oh gawd. Don't say that. It's so passive aggressive. It shows you're pissed and can't take rejection like a man. She's nobody, you had 1 date with her. You were under the impression it was a great date and it was probably so-so to her. It's the name of the game. Just pass and go to next.
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Old 7th March 2018, 10:26 AM   #30
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Honestly though, I've watched his stuff and one thing that I tend to agree with that has worked is to play it cool and not show her your feelings too soon. Women like the chase, they'll even admit that themselves sometimes. When they know a guy likes them, it's no longer interesting and not fun. They have the validation they need knowing they could have them. People want what they can't have to an extent.
And how has that been working for you?

Grey40: Do you read threads made by women on here? We all want a man to chase us, we all want him to be the one texting after the date and we all want him to touch base with us within 48 hours to set up the 2 date for later.

I would advice to stop touching and kissing on a first date. You can give her compliments and be flirty but keep some mystery in the air. If a man kissed and touched me on a 1st date I would think he's all over me and I'd question why exactly he's interested in me.
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