LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

How can you tell if a girl likes you? (Humour me)


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree111Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 8th March 2018, 4:31 AM   #76
Established Member
 
coledvids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aiuta le mani View Post
Hey man! Thanks for sharing here! Simple question:why do you ask her on a date and tell her straight up that it is a date? Whatever answer she gives you will be a good indicator of whether she likes you or not! if she does not, you can still have a civilized and decent relationship at this place. Just be honest and avoid confusion and you'll know right away!Keep moving forward!
Hey - hope you're good.

It's not really 'in' me to ask people out on 'dates' as such. I feel that it's slightly immature and lacks confidence.

"Hi, would you like to go on a date?" - I think some women and men think this is a good idea. Women say they'd like to hear this and men say you should ask this.

IRL it seems to be the case that women are surprised when they hear the word 'date', and often freak out because they think you're either trying to marry them immediately or have sex right away. The women I've asked on dates in the past have ALWAYS turned me down and fizzled out after the word 'date' was mentioned. So it's a no from me.

Men seem to think it's some sort of alpha trait, lock her down, let her know you're a big bad caveman, etc. It doesn't really work, life isn't a Corey Wayne video.
coledvids is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th March 2018, 4:36 AM   #77
Established Member
 
coledvids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 109
Well after some thinking and based on how she was interacting with me yesterday/today, I'm not really sure I should pursue this... she didn't seem that interested in me yesterday and would come online and not reply and just...didn't seem into it.

I'm unsure then if I want to keep approaching her - I also said I had a nice time with her and made a joke similar to the ones we were making and she replied to everything but that comment - no, "so did I" or anything like that - So...

I'm thinking maybe I said or did something during the coffee to put her off, as such. I'm not sure. She's messaged me a couple of times this morning (about someone else) and I debated asking her to go get another coffee but I'm not sure if that's appropiate..so... maybe I will, maybe I won't.
coledvids is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th March 2018, 4:45 AM   #78
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by coledvids View Post
Hey - hope you're good.

It's not really 'in' me to ask people out on 'dates' as such. I feel that it's slightly immature and lacks confidence.

"Hi, would you like to go on a date?" - I think some women and men think this is a good idea. Women say they'd like to hear this and men say you should ask this.

IRL it seems to be the case that women are surprised when they hear the word 'date', and often freak out because they think you're either trying to marry them immediately or have sex right away. The women I've asked on dates in the past have ALWAYS turned me down and fizzled out after the word 'date' was mentioned. So it's a no from me.

Men seem to think it's some sort of alpha trait, lock her down, let her know you're a big bad caveman, etc. It doesn't really work, life isn't a Corey Wayne video.
If they freak out, it likely means they're not into you.

It's not bad to use the word "date" when asking a girl out. How else are they supposed to know it's going to be a date? Lol..
newyorker11356 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th March 2018, 4:48 AM   #79
Established Member
 
coledvids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by newyorker11356 View Post
If they freak out, it likely means they're not into you.

It's not bad to use the word "date" when asking a girl out. How else are they supposed to know it's going to be a date? Lol..
Both the women I spoke about have acted interested. Excessive messaging, compliments, playing with my hands, giggling - all the signs you'd associate with interest.

There are a myriad of other ways to convey interest. Using the word 'date' doesn't suddenly change the context or dynamic between two people. My last two relationships were both two years long and I never uttered the word 'date' once.
coledvids is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th March 2018, 5:16 AM   #80
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 293
Quote:
Originally Posted by coledvids View Post
Both the women I spoke about have acted interested. Excessive messaging, compliments, playing with my hands, giggling - all the signs you'd associate with interest.

There are a myriad of other ways to convey interest. Using the word 'date' doesn't suddenly change the context or dynamic between two people. My last two relationships were both two years long and I never uttered the word 'date' once.
Sure, there are different ways to go about it, but to me (and my experience), saying it's a date at the start helps to set the tone.

That's just what I think, though.
newyorker11356 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th March 2018, 4:35 PM   #81
Established Member
 
coledvids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 109
I messaged her and asked her if she wanted to go out over the weekend and she said "I can't, I've got stuff to do this weekend, maybe another time " - I didn't reply to this message, as it echoed what she was saying to that other guy about being "busy" when he'd asked her for coffee, and I didn't want to be the subject of chat between her and her friends.

After that I saw her - she wasn't really engaging with people and was in her phone and was with her friends - I was with mine so I just carried on talking to them. As she'd already turned me down I didn't really feel like approaching her again, plus I'd feel annoying doing so in front of her friends and I didn't actually have anything to say.

Seems quite a departure from how she was acting on Tuesday. I really did enjoy her company and her personality seems really fun, but at the same time I'm wary of the situation and the context of where we both have to go three times a week, so am trying not to create awkwardness.



- I saw her at the end, sitting in front of her for around an hour (we couldn't actually talk because we were watching something) she tapped me on the shoulder and asked me about some event I'd been to and how it went, and we exchanged a couple of jokes but we couldn't chat much because we were not supposed to be talking in that room. When that session ended she just got up and left, didn't really seem very chatty, didn't say bye and didn't look up from her phone as she was walking out. I'm guessing she was talking to someone/didn't feel that sociable.

I've messaged her a few times this evening, just talking about things that happened today. She seems a bit reserved, I'm not sure. It's mainly me carrying the conversation.

So I'm not really feeling the same levels of interest after Tuesday... which is disappointing, but hey. Maybe I misread it.
coledvids is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th March 2018, 4:38 PM   #82
Established Member
 
coledvids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 109
other than that; I actually would like to chat to her and hang out again, but I'm not sure how to ask again after being turned down, and also how I'm meant to get through those people she hangs around with. Like at every break they go out together (I don't know where to) and they all leave together at the end. It would mean that I literally run out after her which yeah, no I'm not doing.

I can't sit with her because that would just be odd - I don't sit with that group of people and she doesn't sit with mine.

In terms of hanging out again - I like her personality and if she's not into me that way, that's cool - but I genuinely would like to get to know her as a person as we had a lot in common... just not sure how to do that, really.
coledvids is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th March 2018, 5:04 PM   #83
Established Member
 
BarbedFenceRider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Southwest
Posts: 498
Well, you played your hand and kept it cool. Bravo. Things will materialize if there is anything there. As for the follow up date. You have messaged her enough. (Just like I said).

But the plus here..(yes there is a big plus) Is that you now know what you like with the friendliness and casual behavior from the opposite sex. This can be taken to the bank. Also, it will fine tune your skills when approaching others.

Big thing here is...Don't do the staying up at night wondering "what if"...It will ruin ya!
Take what you can and want...Dump the rest. Move along.

But I'm guessing that she will show up yet again, with a tap on the shoulder and a generalized comment....Then when you have her face to face, you can kinda throw the ball into her court. "I thought you didn't really want to talk.."
BarbedFenceRider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th March 2018, 5:08 PM   #84
Established Member
 
coledvids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by BarbedFenceRider View Post
Well, you played your hand and kept it cool. Bravo. Things will materialize if there is anything there. As for the follow up date. You have messaged her enough. (Just like I said).

But the plus here..(yes there is a big plus) Is that you now know what you like with the friendliness and casual behavior from the opposite sex. This can be taken to the bank. Also, it will fine tune your skills when approaching others.

Big thing here is...Don't do the staying up at night wondering "what if"...It will ruin ya!
Take what you can and want...Dump the rest. Move along.

But I'm guessing that she will show up yet again, with a tap on the shoulder and a generalized comment....Then when you have her face to face, you can kinda throw the ball into her court. "I thought you didn't really want to talk.."
Thank you for your comment, friend.

Yes. After a very rough year and a very bad break up, I was left wondering if I'd ever feel anything for anyone again - even slight attraction, I was convinced I couldn't feel it again. So this has shown that I do and can like others and that I'm also able to chat and entertain women...

Yes, I kept my distance and didn't want to look overly persistent. She sees me all the time so we will no doubt cross paths again.

I think she's lovely but at the same time, I am not about to do that whole "what if/what does that mean?" thing... just let life take its natural course, I suppose.
coledvids is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th March 2018, 1:33 AM   #85
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,804
Quote:
Originally Posted by coledvids View Post
Thank you for your comment, friend.

Yes. After a very rough year and a very bad break up, I was left wondering if I'd ever feel anything for anyone again - even slight attraction, I was convinced I couldn't feel it again. So this has shown that I do and can like others and that I'm also able to chat and entertain women...

Yes, I kept my distance and didn't want to look overly persistent. She sees me all the time so we will no doubt cross paths again.

I think she's lovely but at the same time, I am not about to do that whole "what if/what does that mean?" thing... just let life take its natural course, I suppose.
Sounds to me as if you've handled this all very well! I agree with you that now isn't the time to ask her out again after her last response. You never know what could be going on in her heart/mind right now that could change in a few months. However, I would definitely move on while still being friendly. The tap on your shoulder was a nice touch (excuse the pun) to keep your relationship with her open and friendly (I cringe to use that word, don't mean it in the "friend-zone" sense!)
LivingWaterPlease is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th March 2018, 11:27 AM   #86
Established Member
 
coledvids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by LivingWaterPlease View Post
Sounds to me as if you've handled this all very well! I agree with you that now isn't the time to ask her out again after her last response. You never know what could be going on in her heart/mind right now that could change in a few months. However, I would definitely move on while still being friendly. The tap on your shoulder was a nice touch (excuse the pun) to keep your relationship with her open and friendly (I cringe to use that word, don't mean it in the "friend-zone" sense!)
True - I liked that she did that. I was unsure of how she was going to be with me and I was relieved that she did that. You just never know what people are thinking/going through, so I won't persist and make her feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately I do have a crush on her, now - ah well! That's always the way, right? Haha.
coledvids is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th March 2018, 9:39 AM   #87
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 57
Quote:
Originally Posted by coledvids View Post
Hey - hope you're good.

It's not really 'in' me to ask people out on 'dates' as such. I feel that it's slightly immature and lacks confidence.

"Hi, would you like to go on a date?" - I think some women and men think this is a good idea. Women say they'd like to hear this and men say you should ask this.

IRL it seems to be the case that women are surprised when they hear the word 'date', and often freak out because they think you're either trying to marry them immediately or have sex right away. The women I've asked on dates in the past have ALWAYS turned me down and fizzled out after the word 'date' was mentioned. So it's a no from me.

Men seem to think it's some sort of alpha trait, lock her down, let her know you're a big bad caveman, etc. It doesn't really work, life isn't a Corey Wayne video.
Thanks for your reply! I see your point! I also see that things have changed a bit! As others said, there will be opportunities for interaction in the future! If there's anything left, you'll get your chance. After negative experiences is always good to be open for friendship while being intentional. You already made a move. Now you can be open for friendship and keep your cool! Keep your heart and eyes open and you will find your opportunity for a great relationship! If you are still hurting or need support in any way, we are here for you man!
Aiuta le mani is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2018, 9:27 AM   #88
Established Member
 
coledvids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 109
I saw her yesterday - my friends weren't in, so I took this chance to sit with her and her friends... I was nervous at first, but ended up just chatting normally with her and her friends.

After everything had finished her and I walked to the station together and chatted a bit more. I bought up the subject of meeting up, going to a gig or something and she said "just to clarify, this is as friends, right?" - this could have been awkward but I turned it into a joke (and referenced the other guy that kept asking her out) and said "why, because you're just so hot no one can resist you, right?" she laughed a lot and the awkwardness was gone. But I said yeah, friends, of course.

I was a bit put out that she just wants to be friends BUT I'm also glad I know and I'm happy to be friends with her, she's funny and cool and you can't have too many friends. So we're probably gonna meet up still but yeah, as friends...

I've still got a bit of a crush on her but that's up to me to navigate, I guess.

I'm kinda disappointed tbh - we get on SO well and our sense of humour together is just on point. But that's just life, I don't feel bitter about it. I've experienced people leading me on and then telling me they want friends only so I'm glad it was set out from the start

Last edited by coledvids; 14th March 2018 at 9:31 AM..
coledvids is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2018, 10:20 AM   #89
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,308
Well, now you know. This girl just took the bulls by the horn and clarified. Good job. If she hadn't, you'd still hang out with her under the assumption that she knows it's dating. Reading signs is difficult.
Maggie4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th March 2018, 12:02 PM   #90
Established Member
 
coledvids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggie4 View Post
Well, now you know. This girl just took the bulls by the horn and clarified. Good job. If she hadn't, you'd still hang out with her under the assumption that she knows it's dating. Reading signs is difficult.
Actually, my aim was to get her to hang out a second time and then find out myself - asking her if she was seeing anyone and going from there. This was only the second one on one I have had with her, I haven't been hanging out with her with the assumption we were dating. I never said I thought we were dating, lol. The point of this thread was to see if she was interested in me so that I could make the progression TO dating, if that were the case. Think you've misunderstood the point of the thread. I barely know her, I didn't think we were dating.

Last edited by coledvids; 14th March 2018 at 12:07 PM..
coledvids is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
a girl likes me that my friend likes and i'm still struggling with a break up calgary Friendship 1 25th February 2013 12:33 PM
Confusion - I like girl; I think girl likes me; girl on outs with previous boyfriend. masaki1085 In Search Of... 3 18th October 2007 5:44 AM
One of my friend likes this girl that likes me ... What do I do ? Mieq Friendship 0 20th February 2006 10:26 AM
the guy i like likes me and another girl who told me that she likes him ~sammy~000 General Relationship Discussion 4 25th January 2006 12:38 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 9:37 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.