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She didnít feel a connection


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Old 6th March 2018, 1:20 PM   #1
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She didnít feel a connection

Short story. Went on two dates.

Date 1 ended with a kiss and her texting me that night she had a great time

Date 2 we made out twice, ended in her telling me in person she wants to hangout again and she texted me that night she had a good time

When I went to set up date 3, she didnít respond to my text asking her when she was free. So i called her 3 days later, she agreed to Friday or Saturday. Then I got a text yesterday saying, she wanted to be honest and said ďIím a great guy, I had fun, but didnít feel a connection... etc. ď

Iím left hear thinking ďwtf, she said she wanted to hangout againĒ

Idk what happened. Too ugly? Bad kisser? Ex back in the picture? Moved to fast?

Iím very self critical when it comes to this stuff. We didnít text/call unless it was to setup dates, i wasnít ďmister nice guyĒ but also wasnít a dbag either. Kept everything fun, positive, uplifting, and showed everything confidently.

Honestly speechless
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Old 6th March 2018, 1:24 PM   #2
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Some people give it a few dates to check out the connection. She gave it a chance but it is as simple as that, she wasn't feeling it. The only answer is to brush it off and let it go. Not everyone is going to speak up right away. She took a few days but at least she told you. If you're going to date, then you need some thicker skin. This happens to the best of us. Don't take it personal.
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Old 6th March 2018, 1:26 PM   #3
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Could have been any of the things you listed or some, or none.

You will never know. Really though would you want to see someone long term who behaved like this? I think we all deserve to be with someone who just genuinely likes us and isn't messing round.
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Old 6th March 2018, 1:30 PM   #4
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Could it be because of the times you failed to text her once you got home from your dates? Noticed you started a new thread instead of posting to the existing one about your interactions with this woman. I think in this case the context is helpful.

Bottom line, you're not ever going to know exactly why she changed her mind. People do this all the time. I personally think your attempts to play the "chill" guy backfired, because it's hard to gauge the real feelings of someone who won't allow you to see what they're thinking/feeling. That doesn't mean there's anything "wrong" with you.
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Old 6th March 2018, 1:31 PM   #5
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I have to ask since your last thread Corey Wayne was mentioned. Did you wait until the next day to text her back as per his rules"? Did you say your phone was on silent, you fell asleep etc? If a guy did that after I put myself out there that night by saying thanks(showed a lot of interest),I would immediately assume they are rude or playing games. No second date. Or she could have just not been interested period.
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Old 6th March 2018, 1:46 PM   #6
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I also think you should have posted this on the same thread where you were contemplating what was going on with her. Maybe you didn't because you thought many would blame it because you didn't text her when you got home after the first and then second date (until the next day).

However, i don't think that alone was the reason she didn't feel a connection---or not even the main reason she didn't feel one. Sometimes people just don't feel it. Even Corey Wayne (know you follow his stuff) can't help you with that! (I don't agree with his strategies by the way, most of them).

I think you need to create momentum when there is an opportunity--which is not merely the response of texting but the content of that--having a flirtatious or playful, fun nature. That said, sometimes you can do everything right and the other person still doesn't feel it. Conversely, you can make mistakes and they still are interested. If it was an exact science (such as corey seems to purport), more people could make each and every person they encounter into a viable romantic prospect--and that just isn't how it really is.

Chin up, keep trying with the next one.
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Old 6th March 2018, 1:47 PM   #7
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It certainly doesn't mean you aren't attractive it's just she didn't feel sexual chemistry with you. Maybe she still has feelings for another guy, who knows. I've dated extremely good looking men who I felt no sexual chemistry.
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Old 6th March 2018, 2:01 PM   #8
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Like some on here, they insist you go one several dates before passing judgment and see if attraction will occur. IMO this is cruel to the other person because they are left confused and feeling that they messed up....just saying.

It's just a process that people will go through. She gave you a shot, tried to be attracted to you because you look good on paper...no chemistry, no attraction, she's out....simple as that.
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Old 6th March 2018, 2:20 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Versacehottie View Post
I also think you should have posted this on the same thread where you were contemplating what was going on with her. Maybe you didn't because you thought many would blame it because you didn't text her when you got home after the first and then second date (until the next day).

However, i don't think that alone was the reason she didn't feel a connection---or not even the main reason she didn't feel one. Sometimes people just don't feel it. Even Corey Wayne (know you follow his stuff) can't help you with that! (I don't agree with his strategies by the way, most of them).

I think you need to create momentum when there is an opportunity--which is not merely the response of texting but the content of that--having a flirtatious or playful, fun nature. That said, sometimes you can do everything right and the other person still doesn't feel it. Conversely, you can make mistakes and they still are interested. If it was an exact science (such as corey seems to purport), more people could make each and every person they encounter into a viable romantic prospect--and that just isn't how it really is.

Chin up, keep trying with the next one.
I didnít post this on the same thread because i asked her if that was a reason why and she said it wasnít. I had the gut feeling it wasnít the entire time. Although next time i will text back.
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Old 6th March 2018, 2:32 PM   #10
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Itís disappointing thatís for sure. But Iíd say she did you a favor by going ahead and telling you upfront sheís not interested. Thereís been some threads recently where women have admitted to stringing guys along for 4-5 dates with no intention of having sex with them. In general Iíd say if the woman hasnít agreed to sex within 2 dates, sheís not interested. Thatís exactly what you see with this one.
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Old 6th March 2018, 2:35 PM   #11
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Most likely answer is that there was another guy in the picture that captured her imagination. Maybe he came into the picture after you so you BEFORE him = cool but you AFTER him = no connection.

Don't take it personally. Wish her good luck and move on to the next.
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Old 6th March 2018, 3:08 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Redguitar35 View Post
It’s disappointing that’s for sure. But I’d say she did you a favor by going ahead and telling you upfront she’s not interested. There’s been some threads recently where women have admitted to stringing guys along for 4-5 dates with no intention of having sex with them. In general I’d say if the woman hasn’t agreed to sex within 2 dates, she’s not interested. That’s exactly what you see with this one.
Except as we've said before, that isn't true.

I've (along with other guys) have had sex with a woman way after 3 dates.

This one just wasn't interested in the OP, it happens. Welcome to dating.

OP, don't fret. Sometimes, you can do everything perfectly or good, and the other person is still not interested.
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Old 6th March 2018, 3:21 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by newyorker11356 View Post
Except as we've said before, that isn't true.

I've (along with other guys) have had sex with a woman way after 3 dates.

This one just wasn't interested in the OP, it happens. Welcome to dating.

OP, don't fret. Sometimes, you can do everything perfectly or good, and the other person is still not interested.
She lived an hour away, so first date we met halfway and second date i picked her up at her place. (She still lives with parents) had it been my place, second date we wouldíve by the way the kissing was going
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Old 6th March 2018, 4:32 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by CasualDude10 View Post
I didn’t post this on the same thread because i asked her if that was a reason why and she said it wasn’t. I had the gut feeling it wasn’t the entire time. Although next time i will text back.
No worries. I just think that if you weren't worried about getting heat for it (you would have for sure even if as you know by what she said that isn't the reason), you can still both learn and help others by keeping your thread together since it is about the same subject. Girl losing interest/having no connection/wondering if it was your texting style. Others might benefit from what you learned and the whole story.

But yeah absolutely do you. I am certainly not the thread police

*ps i don't think it is the reason the whole texting but when you ask "why" I don't think you will get an exact answer either from someone who is calling it off with you. Didn't feel a connection is about as honest as it gets and good enough feed back. You can build your confidence by alone accepting the fact that you can't win them all

oh and it will build your confidence to not feel as if you have to "text" perfectly. If she is a reasonable and worthwhile person who is interested in you, she should be accepting of a reasonable texting style and timeframe.

Last edited by Versacehottie; 6th March 2018 at 4:38 PM..
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Old 6th March 2018, 4:47 PM   #15
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I think that she wanted to know you better and thought that the chemistry will come, but it didn't... It's not about you, your kisses and apparition. She just doesn't feel it.

But I have one advice for future. You should text after the first date.
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