Is My Mindset Around Women Normal?

[GuitarGuy7]

I'm a 23 year old guy

 

I do look at women and think they're beautiful but I don't look at a girl and think, I want to have sex with her. I'm not really sexually motivated all that much, I don't really fantasize about girls I crush on or anything. I'm more motivated by her beauty and if we connect on an emotional level. I'm rarely immediately attracted to someone, I don't really get crushes either. I have to get to know them and talk to them first and make sure I feel comfortable around them before real attraction develops.

 

Don't get me wrong, I do want to have sex but i'm not sure if what I have is normal or not.

 

To be honest, I think i'm more aroused by porn than by actual women but this might be because i'm a virgin, so the fact I haven't experienced sex yet means it's not developed into an intense desire yet. I actually didn't start masturbating and watching porn until I was 18 years old. It's not because it was forbidden in my house, I just never really had the motivation prior to my 18th birthday. I never really thought of sex all that much in high school.

 

 

Is this normal for guys? What is this?

[Noproblem]

I don't know about guys

but I know everyone is different.

 

Don't compare yourself to others and feel miserable because you are different than them.

It's ok, you might have other interest in life that makes you more happy or interested than sex.

 

 

Also, sometimes your horoscopes decides some stuff for you

 

for example

 

Virgo works best if they are really in love but they are meh if it's just a relationship.

 

some signs are not sex-crazed like: aqua or pieces

 

you can write this in google

The Most Sex-Crazed Zodiac Signs, Ranked From Most To Least

 

 

but of course they are talking in general and there is always people who don't follow that rule because they are affected by other factors..

[Brieanna]

Maybe you are more demisexual?

 

According to wikipedia:

Demisexuals experience sexual desire only toward people with whom they already have a strong emotional bond. Like an asexual, a demisexual would not see an attractive woman and immediately desire sex, unless, of course, that attractive woman happened to be in a serious emotional relationship with the demisexual.

 

I’m not a big fan of sexual labels, but in your case it could help to know there is a huge range of “normal” when it comes to sex and attraction.

[preraph]

Ah, so you do have another interest besides videogames. So what type of porn do you like best? I have to shoot down the only attracted if emotionally invested theory because if that were true, you wouldn't be attracted to the porn.

 

Have you ever had a crush on anybody, ever? Do you have some close male friends? Are you close to anybody? Because if not, then it may just be that you have trouble with forming bonds, period, much less having sex with people, and that if you solved that problem, then the sexual attraction might resolve itself.

[alphamale]

dude, I've been whacking off since I was 12

[Brieanna]

I have to shoot down the only attracted if emotionally invested theory because if that were true, you wouldn't be attracted to the porn.

Well, I’m only throwing the idea out there that sexualities may vary.

 

Personally I do consider myself mostly demi/sapiosexual. I also can get turned on by other things such as porn or occassionally someone I do not know so well, however, I really mostly need to be attracted to the whole person and feel we jive well conversationally and emotionally.

 

Also, there is a huge difference in what arouses me in my fantasies and in porn, to what will do it in real life. The more I look at porn, the more this can change to needing more serious like porn stuff vs lighter stuff, whereas in real life I am very much attracted to emotional connectedness. (There is also lots of greyness to this, but just saying generally speaking. Cause sometimes I may enjoy some raunchy stuff without emotions...but generally speaking.)

 

Just saying that it is not necessarily a black/white thing but maybe some shade between.

Edited March 3, 2018 by Brieanna