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Red flags all over??


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 5th March 2018, 4:09 PM   #46
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Just curious, do you think I'm to blame here aswell? As I didn't mention that I was uncomfortable with it til yesterday.

The last few weeks I really haven't thought about it much, but yesterday it all really hit me, espacily when she sent me the snap of the bed they were gonna share ..
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Old 5th March 2018, 4:10 PM   #47
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Haha, the thing is I don't feel like being a douchebag. She dosen't think anything she does is inappropriate.

I got all the reasons in the world to become a douchebag, but in the end I'll be the one shes blaiming, and I don't really want that.

She has zero self-knowledge of her own behaviour, I guess I could say ..
This is where you are misstepping - you're not being a douchebag by giving her stuff back and stating exactly why. That's authentic - that's real.

Keeping her stuff - that is being mean.

Give her stuff back and be done. Simple, it's over!

Then she has no ability to blatantly disrespect you anymore. She can find someone new to do that to - don't let it be you.
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Old 5th March 2018, 4:13 PM   #48
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Haha, the thing is I don't feel like being a douchebag. She dosen't think anything she does is inappropriate.

I got all the reasons in the world to become a douchebag, but in the end I'll be the one shes blaiming, and I don't really want that.

She has zero self-knowledge of her own behaviour, I guess I could say ..
It has nothing to do with being a douchebag but everything to do with preserving your self-respect and enforcing a boundary.

Of course she doesn't think she is doing anything inappropriate. Someone that loves/cares about you, prioritizes your feelings and compromises. She doesn't give two hoots about how you feel but feels entitled that you should just shut up and accept.

In that aspect, you shouldn't (not sure why you are) be concerned as to what she thinks of you (you/we already know what she thinks of you when she has no issue sending you a picture of the bed!) but concerned about preserving your dignity.
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Old 5th March 2018, 4:22 PM   #49
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But you did have it bothering you before yesterday because you started the thread before that.
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Old 5th March 2018, 4:26 PM   #50
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But you did have it bothering you before yesterday because you started the thread before that.
Yes, that is true, I guess it came stronger and stronger as the day they were leaving came .. And when I got the snap of the bed I seriously couldn't sit down ..
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Old 5th March 2018, 4:29 PM   #51
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She's checking to see how much of her crap you're willing to take.

Don't take any more.

She can do those mean things to someone else.


You train people how to treat you. By what you allow and what you don't allow. By when you stay and when you leave.
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Old 5th March 2018, 4:32 PM   #52
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Exactly .. I told her I was not comfortable with it and she got mad and asked "What do you want me to do?! Sleep on the floor?" ..

I've been in relationships before where I accepted way too much, I really thought I had it this time .. God damnit ..
In any hotel you can call the front desk and ask for a folding-bed to be brought to your room.
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Old 5th March 2018, 4:36 PM   #53
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Yes, that is true, I guess it came stronger and stronger as the day they were leaving came .. And when I got the snap of the bed I seriously couldn't sit down ..
She is immature. She thinks and acts like a 15 year old. Everything is about her and you are the unfair parent that don't understand cool. I am very flexible when it comes to friends of opposite gender but the friendship has to be handled with respect and class. This 'girl' you're dating is far from being a woman still and doesn't have the mental capacity to understand adult principals. Three months dating is plenty for you to come to the conclusion you are not a match when it comes to morals, respect, consideration, and maturity.
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Old 5th March 2018, 4:52 PM   #54
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It has nothing to do with being a douchebag but everything to do with preserving your self-respect and enforcing a boundary.

Of course she doesn't think she is doing anything inappropriate. Someone that loves/cares about you, prioritizes your feelings and compromises. She doesn't give two hoots about how you feel but feels entitled that you should just shut up and accept.

In that aspect, you shouldn't (not sure why you are) be concerned as to what she thinks of you (you/we already know what she thinks of you when she has no issue sending you a picture of the bed!) but concerned about preserving your dignity.
Do you think she will get an reaction if I leave her? I'd hate to see her use her specialites and just /ignore me forever .. I would feel I've lost ..

We were talking about exes a while back, and she concluded and said out loud "Huh, so you really accept alot from what I hear you telling me now" .. I guess it was a mistake telling her anything ..
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Old 5th March 2018, 4:53 PM   #55
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She is immature. She thinks and acts like a 15 year old. Everything is about her and you are the unfair parent that don't understand cool. I am very flexible when it comes to friends of opposite gender but the friendship has to be handled with respect and class. This 'girl' you're dating is far from being a woman still and doesn't have the mental capacity to understand adult principals. Three months dating is plenty for you to come to the conclusion you are not a match when it comes to morals, respect, consideration, and maturity.
If it matters, she is 24 and I'm 27 ..

She should be acting more adult by now, yeah?
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Old 5th March 2018, 4:57 PM   #56
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If it matters, she is 24 and I'm 27 ..

She should be acting more adult by now, yeah?
Yes she should but some people mentally and emotionally mature much later in life and it doesn't sound like it's about to happen to her. I am sure it can be embarrassing to you at times.

It's not a matter of who wins and who loses. This is your life and your precious time. At 27, if you are starting to think of settling down, she is a huge waste of your time. Sure she's nice and fun when you're together, so will be a more mature woman.
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Old 5th March 2018, 4:59 PM   #57
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Do you think she will get an reaction if I leave her? I'd hate to see her use her specialites and just /ignore me forever .. I would feel I've lost ..

We were talking about exes a while back, and she concluded and said out loud "Huh, so you really accept alot from what I hear you telling me now" .. I guess it was a mistake telling her anything ..
A reaction? Who cares! She's a jerk.

Let her be a jerk to someone else!

YOU win just by respecting YOURSELF!

You lose by staying and allowing her to think for one more minute she can treat you badly and you stay.


She's on vacation with another man...sleeping in the same bed! Somehow I don't think you'll miss her behavior which is totally disrespectful to you.
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Old 5th March 2018, 5:00 PM   #58
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Do you think she will get an reaction if I leave her? I'd hate to see her use her specialites and just /ignore me forever .. I would feel I've lost ..
What would you have lost? A woman that has no boundaries and doesn't have any respect or care for your feelings or what it means to act appropriately in a relationship? That's your scorecard?

This kind of mentality will keep you stuck longer than you should. This is about your self-respect. You're more concerned about her reaction than you are your dignity. Who cares what reaction she has -- if you're really bothered by who wins -- you do because she is not relationship material. You should want more and believe you deserve better.

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We were talking about exes a while back, and she concluded and said out loud "Huh, so you really accept alot from what I hear you telling me now" .. I guess it was a mistake telling her anything ..
She thinks you are a doormat. And you are displaying that exact same behavior you did in your past relationships with her. Now she knows you'll tolerate just about everything just to have something.

A person that cares and loves you, wouldn't use that against you. The one that uses that against you is the one you get away from.
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Old 5th March 2018, 6:37 PM   #59
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I'm pretty sure it would be on block by now, the thing is I got one of her bags with cloths and I got her appartment key .. She came by yesterday with it so she could go directly to me from the airport.

Now I have to meet her and deliver this stuff to her.

Your signature says it all ..
I'd drop that off at one of her friends' place and be done with her.
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Old 5th March 2018, 7:46 PM   #60
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Dude seriously. Why are you stalling. While this woman that calls herself your GF is on a holiday with another man, sleeping in the same bed & "cuddling" and she tells you that's how it is and your contemplating whether to do something about it.
Just dump her crap inside her apartment, lock the door and drop the keys off in her mail box. You need to ghost her like right after you send her the text saying "Enjoy your holiday we r done, never attempt to contact me again". Then block & delete her number.

Then you can find a GF with integrity, morals & just plain common sense.
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