Jump to content

Why would a guy text first and then not respond?


varicose

Recommended Posts

A guy I recently started seeing did this. "How are you?" And then no response to my response. Days ago. Why do this? What does it mean?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Happy Lemming

Why don't you call him up and actually talk to him...

 

If he doesn't answer, leave him a voicemail. Something to the effect of "Hi, this is ___________, there is this great Art Festival (or whatever) in town this weekend. Would you like to meet up??"

 

If he doesn't get back to you in 24 hours, he's changed his mind about pursuing you further.

 

NEXT!!

Link to post
Share on other sites
hippychick3

Please don't call him, OP. If he texts you a question and then doesn't get back for days, he's NOT that interested. He's probably texting multiple women for an ego boost.

 

He's not worth your time.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Happy Lemming
Please don't call him, OP. If he texts you a question and then doesn't get back for days, he's NOT that interested. He's probably texting multiple women for an ego boost.

 

He's not worth your time.

 

Doing nothing... gets her no answers to her questions and she continues to wonder about the situation.

 

If she makes a phone call, she is taking a proactive effort to get the answers she desires.

 

Why are so many people afraid to actually talk on the phone to a potential date??

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Please don't call him, OP. If he texts you a question and then doesn't get back for days, he's NOT that interested. He's probably texting multiple women for an ego boost.

 

He's not worth your time.

 

Yeah it seems playerish, but still -- does it mean he'd want to see me again? Or would a guy still go out of his way to text you if he didn't? I know he's not serious, but we had fun.

Link to post
Share on other sites
hippychick3
Doing nothing... gets her no answers to her questions and she continues to wonder about the situation.

 

If she makes a phone call, she is taking a proactive effort to get the answers she desires.

 

Why are so many people afraid to actually talk on the phone to a potential date??

 

It's not about fear. It's about dignity.

 

If they guy can't be bothered to respond to you for days at a time, he is not that interested. It's time to just move on.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
losangelena
Yeah it seems playerish, but still -- does it mean he'd want to see me again? Or would a guy still go out of his way to text you if he didn't? I know he's not serious, but we had fun.

 

Umm, yes, there are men who will text with no intention of meeting up. I'm dealing with one of those right now. Very protracted response times.

 

I know a woman at work who he did this to as well, and when she tried to call him, he didn't pick up, but two minutes later texted her and said, "you rang?" Which is infuriating. It is about power and an ego stroke. Go look up "MPI guy" on YouTube.

 

I don't think you need to call him to figure out what's going on. Also, there is not really a satisfactory answer. The question you should be asking yourself is whether you're willing to put up with such poor communication. You don't have to put up with what he gives you.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
hippychick3
Yeah it seems playerish, but still -- does it mean he'd want to see me again? Or would a guy still go out of his way to text you if he didn't? I know he's not serious, but we had fun.

 

If he wanted to see you again, he would ask you out again. He wouldn't just text "how are you?" and disappear after that. Texting requires no effort whatsoever...asking "how are you" is not going out of his way.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly
Doing nothing... gets her no answers to her questions and she continues to wonder about the situation.

 

If she makes a phone call, she is taking a proactive effort to get the answers she desires.

 

Why are so many people afraid to actually talk on the phone to a potential date??

 

To be fair, the same could be asked of the guy in question.

 

He didn't bother calling her to begin with.

Link to post
Share on other sites
A guy I recently started seeing did this. "How are you?" And then no response to my response. Days ago. Why do this? What does it mean?

 

Recently started seeing? Does this mean you met in person at least once, or is this a texting thing?

 

Is this an online dating thing? You've been texting but haven't met yet?

 

There is no way to answer why or what it means. We have no idea what this guy is doing or what he's thinking. The bottom line is he's just not into you. He's putting out the feelers and keeping a potential date lined up, but he has other priorities that take first place, whether it's another date or a night out with the guys or hanging at home in his boxers, video games or a movie...you're not hitting any level of importance.

 

He's not worth your time...drop...NEXT!

 

If you want to entertain future, maybe he'll come around, DO NOT get yourself invested in him emotionally...he's just a guy who's fun to be around whenever he's available, and you go about your life the rest of the time.

 

You responded to his inquiry, and he has fully dropped off the planet. His inquiry meant Jack-sh**. Just words to keep you wedged in the door. If he genuinely cared about how you were doing and what's going on with you, there would have been a conversation, text or voice.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Happy Lemming
To be fair, the same could be asked of the guy in question.

 

He didn't bother calling her to begin with.

 

Yes... I kind of counted on other guys being to be too scared to approach or call a woman. It made it easier for me to pick them up.

 

"To the victor belongs the spoils" - William L. Marcy

Link to post
Share on other sites
Happy Lemming
It's not about fear. It's about dignity.

 

If they guy can't be bothered to respond to you for days at a time, he is not that interested. It's time to just move on.

 

How is it undignified to call someone you've already been communicating with?? OP is not "cold calling" people out of the phone book for a date. This is someone she has already started communication with and stated she was "seeing".

 

If OP is competing with other women, maybe a phone call and an invite will make her "stand out in the flock" Confidence is very appealing (in both men and women)

Edited by Happy Lemming
Link to post
Share on other sites
losangelena
How is it undignified to call someone you've already been communicating with?? OP is not "cold calling" people out of the phone book for a date. This is someone she has already started communication with and stated she was "seeing".

 

If OP is competing with other women, maybe a phone call and an invite will make her "stand out in the flock" Confidence is very appealing (in both men and women)

 

Yeah, but to what end? What's this man done to differentiate himself from the heard in a positive way? Other than a lame hit-and-run text?

 

You're right that there's nothing wrong with calling, but in this situation, I can't see a plus side.

Link to post
Share on other sites
hippychick3
How is it undignified to call someone you've already been communicating with?? OP is not "cold calling" people out of the phone book for a date. This is someone she has already started communication with and stated she was "seeing".

 

If OP is competing with other women, maybe a phone call and an invite will make her "stand out in the flock" Confidence is very appealing (in both men and women)

 

Since it’s quite clear he isn’t very interested in her and has rudely not responded to her texts for days, it would be pointless to call him. There’s nothing he could say that would make a difference. The interest on his part is either there or not. For her to reach out to him at this point would make her appear to be chasing him. This is not a competition between women. He can keep his flock of women.

 

It sounds like they only had one date ... that hardly seems like they’re “seeing” each other.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

It sounds like they only had one date ... that hardly seems like they’re “seeing” each other.

 

It wasn’t one date. I guess we’d been on a couple but knew each other as acquaintances before. Also I didn’t send a bunch of texts that got ignored. He just reached out, I answered asked how he was, then that was that. Trying to figure out if that was a courtesy text or if he intends to see me again. But I’m not about to chase.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Happy Lemming
This is not a competition between women.

 

Dating is nothing but competition...

 

The prettier girl, the bigger breasts, the hair, the clothes, the thinner woman, etc...

 

Go to any bar and the scantily clad thin blonde with the large breasts is getting all of the attention from the guys.

Link to post
Share on other sites
hippychick3
Dating is nothing but competition...

 

The prettier girl, the bigger breasts, the hair, the clothes, the thinner woman, etc...

 

Go to any bar and the scantily clad thin blonde with the large breasts is getting all of the attention from the guys.

 

Her calling him after he ignored a text for a few days is not going to make him more interested in her :rolleyes:

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Happy Lemming
Her calling him after he ignored a text for a few days is not going to make him more interested in her :rolleyes:

 

She'll never know unless she calls...

 

OP stated they've been on a couple of dates, so (IMO) its worth a phone call.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If a guy (or a girl) can't respond to a text exchange that THEY initiated, a phone call is not worth it.

 

He's not into you OP.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
If a guy (or a girl) can't respond to a text exchange that THEY initiated, a phone call is not worth it.

 

He's not into you OP.

 

Ok, he’s not into me but why would he even initiate in that case?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Happy Lemming
Ok, he’s not into me but why would he even initiate in that case?

 

That's a great question... Why don't you call him and find out??

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
That's a great question... Why don't you call him and find out??

 

Because I don’t want to feel worse.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Happy Lemming
Because I don’t want to feel worse.

 

At least, you'll know vs. wondering.

 

Rejection is temporary... Regret is forever...

Link to post
Share on other sites
Ok, he’s not into me but why would he even initiate in that case?

 

Although slightly different, women do this all the time on OLD.

 

I've had dozens of women do this to me.

 

As far as why? I'm thinking its for an ego boost.

Link to post
Share on other sites
losangelena
She'll never know unless she calls...

 

OP stated they've been on a couple of dates, so (IMO) its worth a phone call.

 

Even if she calls she still might not know. Guys like this can equivocate for days/weeks/months.

 

Okay, maybe she does call, he actually picks up, she asks him out, he agrees, they go out, the next day he texts her again, "how's it going," and again leaves her hanging when she replies. She's now put forth a lot of effort just to be where she is right now—confused. Not sure why calling is some magic bullet cure. It may not be. The chances of a guys like this actually picking up her call is slim.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...