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How to say no to FwB/is it FwB?


Kholland64

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I was seeing this guy, let’s call him Jamie, briefly last year. Maybe a month. He then broke up with me and was very apologetic because he couldn’t get over another girl he used to date. Jamie and I continued being friends, meeting up with our other friends and all was fine. We get on great as friends.

 

Jamie asked me for drinks the other night, first time we had met up alone since the break up... and ended up going back to his. I kept saying I was not going to sleep with him, despite his many efforts, and we just did some passionate kissing. He bought me dinner, drinks and brunch - he always takes me on very nice dates.

 

So, has this turned into a FwB situation? If so, I don’t want that anymore because I’m actually looking for something serious now and if he’s not going to give me that then I just want him as a friend and no more. How do I tell him this without sounding crazy?

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Versacehottie
I was seeing this guy, let’s call him Jamie, briefly last year. Maybe a month. He then broke up with me and was very apologetic because he couldn’t get over another girl he used to date. Jamie and I continued being friends, meeting up with our other friends and all was fine. We get on great as friends.

 

Jamie asked me for drinks the other night, first time we had met up alone since the break up... and ended up going back to his. I kept saying I was not going to sleep with him, despite his many efforts, and we just did some passionate kissing. He bought me dinner, drinks and brunch - he always takes me on very nice dates.

 

So, has this turned into a FwB situation? If so, I don’t want that anymore because I’m actually looking for something serious now and if he’s not going to give me that then I just want him as a friend and no more. How do I tell him this without sounding crazy?

 

You don't sound crazy at all saying what you explained bolded above. You could soften the blow by prefacing it with, "look, i really have fun with you and (then what you explained above-bolded)". That sounds fine to me. It's just the truth. You state your "position" without making too many assumptions about what his is or will be. He will know where you stand. No matter what you should get what you want. I doubt he will have a problem being friends since he already has been fine with it and he may be interested in a relationship now.

 

I think sometimes (without knowing your exact situation) women act kind of passively in the beginning of dating (i'm not explaining it well) and it's funny when you are in a different status like you are now and you say something you want/don't want definitively it actually impacts the guy and attracts him to you romantically. That could definitely happen in your situation. Just say what you want: I have enjoyed having fun with you but I am looking for something serious right now and I want to do that. Good luck

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