NoLuckForMe Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I live in New Jersey, and as those of you living on the east coast of the US know there’s a huge Nor’easter storm happening. I was supposed to meet my date in one of the towns near the Jersey Shore, but after reading reports about how bad that area had been hit with the storm, including areas that were hit by flooding I cancelled, and asked if she’d be available tomorrow evening. She said she was not, but said she MAY be available next Friday. I apologized for cancelling twice, but she never responded to my apology with any understanding of the situation, which makes me believe she’s not happy. I feel like I was right to cancel given the weather situation. This would have been our first date. We had scheduled other times to meet in the past, but SHE would cancel due to work. Whenever she canceled and apologized I always texted back letting her know that it wasn’t a problem and we could reschedule. I wish there was some acknowledgement from her that she was okay with me cancelling given the situation Link to post Share on other sites
newyorker11356 Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I live in New Jersey, and as those of you living on the east coast of the US know there’s a huge Nor’easter storm happening. I was supposed to meet my date in one of the towns near the Jersey Shore, but after reading reports about how bad that area had been hit with the storm, including areas that were hit by flooding I cancelled, and asked if she’d be available tomorrow evening. She said she was not, but said she MAY be available next Friday. I apologized for cancelling twice, but she never responded to my apology with any understanding of the situation, which makes me believe she’s not happy. I feel like I was right to cancel given the weather situation. This would have been our first date. We had scheduled other times to meet in the past, but SHE would cancel due to work. Whenever she canceled and apologized I always texted back letting her know that it wasn’t a problem and we could reschedule. I wish there was some acknowledgement from her that she was okay with me cancelling given the situation I'm in Queens in NY, and it is indeed bad. Better to stay home tonight if there's nothing urgent needed to do. If she's really mad at that, then I'd be pretty cautious in proceeding to date her any further. Especially since she's canceled out on dates in the past, and you were understanding of that. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I certainly wouldn't expect a guy to risk life and limb to come out to a first meeting with me. You made the right decision, whether she understands it is not within your control. I feel like any reasonable person would, though. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Did you make it clear that you were cancelling due to the weather, and cite some reports? Otherwise she may think you were just "getting even" for her cancelling before. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoLuckForMe Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 Did you make it clear that you were cancelling due to the weather, and cite some reports? Otherwise she may think you were just "getting even" for her cancelling before. Yeah I told her I had read about certain parts having floods, power outages, accidents due to road conditions etc. I really don’t know if she’s mad, but she was being kind of short with me in her texts, and each time I apologized she didn’t respond, so it makes me think she is. Given the conditions I would have expected her to express her understanding of the situation at least 1 Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Have you guys met before? If you haven't I feel like I'd move on if I was in your shoes. I really dont think that's a good sign. And I do think you canceling was reasonable. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
staggerlee71 Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 She is a little mad the fact that she is tells you that she was looking forward to meeting you and is disappointed Reschedule with her by the end of this weekend so she doesn't feel its a blow off. Maybe go a little above your normal first date nice gesture when meeting her the first time. Don't sweat it. I'm in NJ and its horrible outside. she will get over it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I live in the western suburbs of Philly and there's no way I'd be going out tonight. There are fallen trees everywhere! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Also, stop apologizing. You've done nothing wrong. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Well, if she's mad about you trying to protect the both of you from inclement weather it seems to me this might be a wise time to bow out of the budding R as her pouting will only get worse with time. At least you don't have much emotion invested in it. I agree that a reasonable person would let you know that they support your efforts to be safe. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Well, if she's mad about you trying to protect the both of you from inclement weather it seems to me this might be a wise time to bow out of the budding R as her pouting will only get worse with time. At least you don't have much emotion invested in it. I agree that a reasonable person would let you know that they support your efforts to be safe. Perfectly said . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Im in the SE suburbs of NYC and just came back from shopping. Tonight is perfect for a date - not a lot of people out. Not any downed trees here but windy and rainy/snowy. I love getting out in bad weather. That said, when you can’t connect for the first date after a few tries things tend to go south. Though I wouldn’t have cancelled, it seems pretty reasonable for you. But if you were meeting she might feel like she was going to go out and you not willing to make the same effort says you are less interested. And from what was said she does seem a bit of a drama queen. This only gets worse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I don't know how bad it is over there, here in the UK theres a bit of a snow storm but I would never use it as an excuse to cancel a date. If you can't even go out of your house then fair enough, but if cars are still driving then sounds like you didn't really wanna make that bit of extra effort. Not like you were going to be outside for the whole date. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I don't know how bad it is over there, here in the UK theres a bit of a snow storm but I would never use it as an excuse to cancel a date. If you can't even go out of your house then fair enough, but if cars are still driving then sounds like you didn't really wanna make that bit of extra effort. Not like you were going to be outside for the whole date. Hurricane-force winds are downing trees and power lines all over. That's the main thing....not the snow. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I just heard from family in NJ and many roads are closed and lights are flickering where my family is. Not a great night to be out. I agree with the others that if she can't understand that this is truly due to weather, it's not a good sign that she'll be reasonable in other ways. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Hurricane-force winds are downing trees and power lines all over. That's the main thing....not the snow. In the UK I think power lines are underground. They'll never do it here because it would kill their business model. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I just heard from family in NJ and many roads are closed and lights are flickering where my family is. Not a great night to be out. I agree with the others that if she can't understand that this is truly due to weather, it's not a good sign that she'll be reasonable in other ways. I have two friends so far who have posted on Facebook that their power won't be restored until Sunday night! Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Hurricane-force winds are downing trees and power lines all over. That's the main thing....not the snow. Oh ok well if its that bad then fair enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Also, stop apologizing. You've done nothing wrong. Yes absolutely. The more you do, the more it looks like you did something wrong. You decided to cancel out of safety concerns. An apology at the time is enough. I would forget her, or at least put her to the back burner. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoLuckForMe Posted March 3, 2018 Author Share Posted March 3, 2018 I have two friends so far who have posted on Facebook that their power won't be restored until Sunday night! I’ve lost power myself ? Sunday night? Hopefully faster than that! Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 I’ve lost power myself ? Sunday night? Hopefully faster than that! Well, both of them live in kinda rural areas, away from main business areas, which will be a priority. Hope you get power back soon! My house is currently filled with very complex smells because I have candles lit all over just in case.... (Gonna blow them out in a minute and go to bed!) Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 maybe that's a sign. Whenver you try to go out, it never works out, it might be a sign you two will not work out. But yeah judging from her response and lack of care for what's going around her, I can say she is self-involved and entitled. I live way far from NJ but the wind is crazy today. So, it's reckless to go out unless it's necessary. Take care! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 (edited) I don't know how bad it is over there, here in the UK theres a bit of a snow storm but I would never use it as an excuse to cancel a date. If you can't even go out of your house then fair enough, but if cars are still driving then sounds like you didn't really wanna make that bit of extra effort. Not like you were going to be outside for the whole date. Why would he risk his life and safety for 1st date and for someone who already canceled more than once, this is not an excuse, this is common sense. when it snows in my state which is 4 hours from NJ, it's dangerous to go out, we cancel schools. not all places like UK. If you live in Michigan or Chicago or upper north of the US, it's normal to have snow, but some other places, life stops and the media go crazy and some bussiness closes, also many universities and shools close as well. Edited March 3, 2018 by Noproblem 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 If you live in Michigan or Chicago or upper north of the US, it's normal to have snow, but some other places, life stops and the media go crazy and some bussiness closes, also many universities and shools close as well. Not to mention that some municipalities are simply not prepared to deal with it if it's not the norm for the area. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Today is my niece's birthday and she's up in NJ and she's not going out tonight due to the weather, so no, you're not wrong for cancelling and rescheduling. If she's that silly to get mad because pretty much all emergency services are saying to stay off the streets, then let that silly girl go. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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