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Does my boyfriend still love his ex girlfriend?


Confused25x

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Confused25x

My boyfriend has been searching for his ex’s family on Facebook. He found out his ex’s girlfriends Mum unblocked him, so he blocked her back.

 

He used to crop me out of photos, I think he started posting pictures of us together to make her jealous. He speaks about her to his family. He got his cousin to like her posts and comment.

 

His ex confronted his cousin, his sister got involved. So she blocked them both. His sister was clearly upset by this, because she unfriended his ex on a different account.

 

Do you think he still loves her?

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one this is clear: he's not emotionally done with her if he's doing all of this to get her attention.

 

He's not present with you---so you might want to rethink the wisdom in being with him. People with unfinished emotional business are messy and you don't want to get dragged down into that.

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Confused25x
one this is clear: he's not emotionally done with her if he's doing all of this to get her attention.

 

He's not present with you---so you might want to rethink the wisdom in being with him. People with unfinished emotional business are messy and you don't want to get dragged down into that.

 

Does this mean he's still in love with her? :(:(

 

She rang and sent him this message:

 

"This just goes to show how immature and childish you still are. I wanted to be friends with you, but you clearly don’t want to so it’s fine. However, you blocked my Mum on Facebook for no reason. You’re continuing to try and hurt me through my Mum now. All I wanted you to do is to unblock my Mum on Facebook. You can’t speak to me directly like a mature person, instead you want to play games. I’m trying to be nice to you. Ah well, I tried x"

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Does this mean he's still in love with her?

 

I don't know them so I can't speak to his intentions. What IS clear is that he's not done with either trying to reach out to her, enlisting the help of his cousin to reach out to her, getting his sister involved--I mean that's someone doing the most over someone he is supposed to be over, right? So being on the outside looking in, having no dog in this hunt and no emotional ties to anyone, I'd say yes, he's still in love with her---or he's so obsessed with her that he's not going to leave her alone.

 

What does his behavior tell you?

 

She rang and sent him this message:

 

"This just goes to show how immature and childish you still are. I wanted to be friends with you, but you clearly don’t want to so it’s fine. However, you blocked my Mum on Facebook for no reason. You’re continuing to try and hurt me through my Mum now. All I wanted you to do is to unblock my Mum on Facebook. You can’t speak to me directly like a mature person, instead you want to play games. I’m trying to be nice to you. Ah well, I tried x"

 

She's feeding into this because if she was truly done with yanking his chain, she'd have blocked him and not let him have any access to her. She also didn't say "leave me the eff alone"--she's just scolding him for playing facebook games with her mom and seriously---her mom should have outgrown this foolishness about 30 years ago.

 

Proceed at your own peril with him. He's not 100% present with you and you're his current girlfriend, so you should take a firmer hold of your esteem and value and realize that this guy is discounting you everytime he does anything that puts him in touch with his ex, be it directly or indirectly.

 

That is the conclusion of what I'm reading from what you're writing

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Confused25x
I don't know them so I can't speak to his intentions. What IS clear is that he's not done with either trying to reach out to her, enlisting the help of his cousin to reach out to her, getting his sister involved--I mean that's someone doing the most over someone he is supposed to be over, right? So being on the outside looking in, having no dog in this hunt and no emotional ties to anyone, I'd say yes, he's still in love with her---or he's so obsessed with her that he's not going to leave her alone.

 

What does his behavior tell you?

 

 

 

She's feeding into this because if she was truly done with yanking his chain, she'd have blocked him and not let him have any access to her. She also didn't say "leave me the eff alone"--she's just scolding him for playing facebook games with her mom and seriously---her mom should have outgrown this foolishness about 30 years ago.

 

Proceed at your own peril with him. He's not 100% present with you and you're his current girlfriend, so you should take a firmer hold of your esteem and value and realize that this guy is discounting you everytime he does anything that puts him in touch with his ex, be it directly or indirectly.

 

That is the conclusion of what I'm reading from what you're writing

 

His ex girlfriends Mum blocked him first, she unblocked him and he blocked her back. Even if she did block him first, why does he care? Why reciprocate? Why even search her Mum in the first place?

 

I think she has changed her mind and wants to get back together, hence "friends"

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Confused25x
I don't know them so I can't speak to his intentions. What IS clear is that he's not done with either trying to reach out to her, enlisting the help of his cousin to reach out to her, getting his sister involved--I mean that's someone doing the most over someone he is supposed to be over, right? So being on the outside looking in, having no dog in this hunt and no emotional ties to anyone, I'd say yes, he's still in love with her---or he's so obsessed with her that he's not going to leave her alone.

 

What does his behavior tell you?

 

 

 

She's feeding into this because if she was truly done with yanking his chain, she'd have blocked him and not let him have any access to her. She also didn't say "leave me the eff alone"--she's just scolding him for playing facebook games with her mom and seriously---her mom should have outgrown this foolishness about 30 years ago.

 

Proceed at your own peril with him. He's not 100% present with you and you're his current girlfriend, so you should take a firmer hold of your esteem and value and realize that this guy is discounting you everytime he does anything that puts him in touch with his ex, be it directly or indirectly.

 

That is the conclusion of what I'm reading from what you're writing

 

What do you mean feeding into it?

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When people break up, it typically means they lose the family, and friends divide and take sides, and few maintain relationships. That's not to say life-long relationships don't continue, but with breakups and divorce, there is loss and this includes NC with people you used to spend Christmas with.

 

I don't know why it's important in any way, shape, or form for your BF to remain FB friends with his ex's mom. I don't know why it's a big deal for the mom or the ex that your BF blocked or deleted. The only reason I can think that this is a big deal is that these two haven't fully severed ties. It shouldn't matter to her if he's FB friends with her mom. In fact, she should be upset that her mom maintains communication and friendship with her ex-BF...I know I would.

 

Those two haven't let go. There is no "let's be friends" in this situation, and let me ask you this, OP, if they were just friends, and I mean friends and not bickering, would that work for you? I'm guessing it would not.

 

There isn't enough separation, especially with these childish games of him getting his friends and cousin and sister involved with likes or whatever it is they're doing. There's too much continued involvement. He's not over her. Is he still in love with her? Maybe. Probably, given his need to continue inserting himself in her world and recruiting others.

 

Are ya'll in junior high by chance? 13, 14 years old??

 

Let him go. He's not invested in you and he is about as immature as they come. His continued obsessive behavior with her and her family is a huge red flag. When he's over her, he will be done with her connections as well...he'll move on. I think it's time for you to move on.

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Confused25x
When people break up, it typically means they lose the family, and friends divide and take sides, and few maintain relationships. That's not to say life-long relationships don't continue, but with breakups and divorce, there is loss and this includes NC with people you used to spend Christmas with.

 

I don't know why it's important in any way, shape, or form for your BF to remain FB friends with his ex's mom. I don't know why it's a big deal for the mom or the ex that your BF blocked or deleted. The only reason I can think that this is a big deal is that these two haven't fully severed ties. It shouldn't matter to her if he's FB friends with her mom. In fact, she should be upset that her mom maintains communication and friendship with her ex-BF...I know I would.

 

Those two haven't let go. There is no "let's be friends" in this situation, and let me ask you this, OP, if they were just friends, and I mean friends and not bickering, would that work for you? I'm guessing it would not.

 

There isn't enough separation, especially with these childish games of him getting his friends and cousin and sister involved with likes or whatever it is they're doing. There's too much continued involvement. He's not over her. Is he still in love with her? Maybe. Probably, given his need to continue inserting himself in her world and recruiting others.

 

Are ya'll in junior high by chance? 13, 14 years old??

 

Let him go. He's not invested in you and he is about as immature as they come. His continued obsessive behavior with her and her family is a huge red flag. When he's over her, he will be done with her connections as well...he'll move on. I think it's time for you to move on.

 

His exs Mum was never friends with him. His exs Mum blocked him then unblocked him. He blocked her Mum back.

 

He's 25, his ex is 22.

 

His cousin did the liking and comments.

 

His sister was clearly upset/annoyed that she was blocked by her, because she unfriended her on a different account.

 

Do you think he will unblock her and speak to her after the last message he sent her?

 

His ex also said her Mum hates him, so that's maybe one reason why he blocked her blocked her back and to get her attention. He hasn't blocked her Dad since he doesn't know about him.

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Confused25x
When people break up, it typically means they lose the family, and friends divide and take sides, and few maintain relationships. That's not to say life-long relationships don't continue, but with breakups and divorce, there is loss and this includes NC with people you used to spend Christmas with.

 

I don't know why it's important in any way, shape, or form for your BF to remain FB friends with his ex's mom. I don't know why it's a big deal for the mom or the ex that your BF blocked or deleted. The only reason I can think that this is a big deal is that these two haven't fully severed ties. It shouldn't matter to her if he's FB friends with her mom. In fact, she should be upset that her mom maintains communication and friendship with her ex-BF...I know I would.

 

Those two haven't let go. There is no "let's be friends" in this situation, and let me ask you this, OP, if they were just friends, and I mean friends and not bickering, would that work for you? I'm guessing it would not.

 

There isn't enough separation, especially with these childish games of him getting his friends and cousin and sister involved with likes or whatever it is they're doing. There's too much continued involvement. He's not over her. Is he still in love with her? Maybe. Probably, given his need to continue inserting himself in her world and recruiting others.

 

Are ya'll in junior high by chance? 13, 14 years old??

 

Let him go. He's not invested in you and he is about as immature as they come. His continued obsessive behavior with her and her family is a huge red flag. When he's over her, he will be done with her connections as well...he'll move on. I think it's time for you to move on.

 

She told him she wants to be friends lol

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ExpatInItaly

Yes, he is still into her and wants her attention.

 

All the blocking, unblocking, messaging, liking posts - how juvenile. But it's also very telling, in the sense that she is on his mind a lot. It doesn't matter who blocked or unblocked whom, really. It shouldn't even be happening to begin with. That should all be ancient history by now.

 

Sorry OP, but I would not continue to date him.

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I think that the question is irrelevant (whether or not your boyfriend loves his ex). I believe it is possible for people to love an ex without acting on it, and are able to let go. That is not happening in your boyfriend’s case. The question is, does he value you and your relationship enough to step up and prioritise you? The lack of boundaries and childish drama that he is dragging you into is really unfair. Has he been in many relationships? How is your relationship otherwise? How long have you been together?

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Yes, I think he wants her back. You are a rebound -- a space filler to fill the void left by her partial departure from his life. He is doing anything & everything to command her attention. It's all childish & dramatic but as kendahke pointed out so eloquently & diplomatically, your BF is not "present" with you. Think about that & act accordingly.

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PegNosePete
Do you think he still loves her?

He certainly loves drama. Goodness. If I were you I'd tell him to grow up and stop playing these stupid games. If he doesn't, move on before you get sucked into the drama.

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Confused25x
I think that the question is irrelevant (whether or not your boyfriend loves his ex). I believe it is possible for people to love an ex without acting on it, and are able to let go. That is not happening in your boyfriend’s case. The question is, does he value you and your relationship enough to step up and prioritise you? The lack of boundaries and childish drama that he is dragging you into is really unfair. Has he been in many relationships? How is your relationship otherwise? How long have you been together?

 

We've been together 2 years.

 

He used to crop me out of his photos, until he found out she looked at his profile. He broke up with me then started posting pictures of us together and initials in bio.

 

Few months later, his ex confronted his cousin etc with the liking and commenting business. My boyfriends profile picture was 3 months old, as soon as she spoke to her he updated the picture. Then 1 month later, broke up with me.

 

Few months later, she spoke to him and he told me to post pictures of us together then stopped.

 

I feel like he wants her to be jealous and to come back to him. Opposed to him going back to her and asking for another chance.

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Confused25x
He certainly loves drama. Goodness. If I were you I'd tell him to grow up and stop playing these stupid games. If he doesn't, move on before you get sucked into the drama.

 

I think he's afraid to go back to her for another chance, as he's done it before.

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2 years? And he's still embroiled with her family? Oh Lord. What a mess.

 

Why do you stay with a person who crops you out of photos?

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Confused25x
Yes, he is still into her and wants her attention.

 

All the blocking, unblocking, messaging, liking posts - how juvenile. But it's also very telling, in the sense that she is on his mind a lot. It doesn't matter who blocked or unblocked whom, really. It shouldn't even be happening to begin with. That should all be ancient history by now.

 

Sorry OP, but I would not continue to date him.

 

That's true.

 

Even if his ex's Mum blocked him, who cares

 

He definitely does, since she unblocked him and he blocked her back.

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Confused25x
Yes, I think he wants her back. You are a rebound -- a space filler to fill the void left by her partial departure from his life. He is doing anything & everything to command her attention. It's all childish & dramatic but as kendahke pointed out so eloquently & diplomatically, your BF is not "present" with you. Think about that & act accordingly.

 

Hmm, since she said she wants to be friends do you think he will leave me for her to be friends then relationship eventually?

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Confused25x
2 years? And he's still embroiled with her family? Oh Lord. What a mess.

 

Why do you stay with a person who crops you out of photos?

 

I think it's because his family didn't approve of them being together

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Her wanting to "be friends" is a lie people tell on break ups. It's not a real friendship but here she feeds on the drama too, & so does her family. People who are going to stay apart don't stay connected on social media & play all these back & forth games. If she was truly done, she never would have reached out.

 

I think your whole 2 year relationship has been a lie, sorry. You are the gap filler, because your BF can't bear to be alone. He stuck someone, anyone, unfortunately you, in the hole that was left by her departure. It wasn't about you. It was about having somebody there while she was gone. Sorry.

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Confused25x
Her wanting to "be friends" is a lie people tell on break ups. It's not a real friendship but here she feeds on the drama too, & so does her family. People who are going to stay apart don't stay connected on social media & play all these back & forth games. If she was truly done, she never would have reached out.

 

I think your whole 2 year relationship has been a lie, sorry. You are the gap filler, because your BF can't bear to be alone. He stuck someone, anyone, unfortunately you, in the hole that was left by her departure. It wasn't about you. It was about having somebody there while she was gone. Sorry.

 

So does that mean he's going to leave me for her?

 

That is true, he's done it before.

 

I think deep down he's happy that he got her attention and her contact number.

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Confused25x
I'm hoping it means you finally wake up & leave him.

 

I don't know what to think because he's blocked her on everything or did he do that to make him feel he has the upperhand?

 

But, even if she is blocked. Why search her family in the first place? Why care?

 

I suppose after the last message she sent him, he could probably unblock her.

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PegNosePete

This is exactly what I meant when I said you're going to get sucked into these stupid games.

 

You're here obsessing about what every little detail of who blocked who means or doesn't mean. WTF?

 

Tell him to stop these stupid games because you don't want to date a drama queen.

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So does that mean he's going to leave me for her?

 

That is true, he's done it before.

 

I think deep down he's happy that he got her attention and her contact number.

 

He's done it before??? Why did you take him back then? And in light of the childish games he's playing on social media, why are you still with him??

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