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A question for guys


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I’ve noticed that my boyfriend gets in these weird moods occasionally, where we just don’t talk as much.

Usually he’s all about me and super sweet and telling me how much he loves me constantly. Which i don’t expect this every day he just does it.

 

Then some times he’ll still be sweet but also kind of distant. Not because we’ve faught or anything but he’s said sometimes he feels like he has a period because he just feels moody.

 

Is this common? Sometimes it worries me and makes me think that i have done something wrong and i freak out and he always assured me i haven’t done anything wrong.

 

So I’m just curious, do all guys have periods? Where you just don’t feel like talking to your girlfriend?

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newyorker11356
I’ve noticed that my boyfriend gets in these weird moods occasionally, where we just don’t talk as much.

Usually he’s all about me and super sweet and telling me how much he loves me constantly. Which i don’t expect this every day he just does it.

 

Then some times he’ll still be sweet but also kind of distant. Not because we’ve faught or anything but he’s said sometimes he feels like he has a period because he just feels moody.

 

Is this common? Sometimes it worries me and makes me think that i have done something wrong and i freak out and he always assured me i haven’t done anything wrong.

 

So I’m just curious, do all guys have periods? Where you just don’t feel like talking to your girlfriend?

 

Lol, I'm a guy, and the same thing happens to me. Occasionally, I just get moody and don't want to talk to anybody. My brother and parents pretty know this about me by now, haha.

 

More than likely has nothing to do with you, don't worry about it.

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Lol, I'm a guy, and the same thing happens to me. Occasionally, I just get moody and don't want to talk to anybody. My brother and parents pretty know this about me by now, haha.

 

More than likely has nothing to do with you, don't worry about it.

 

Another menstrual guy here lol.

 

There are times when I just want to be left alone. This may be compounded by me being an introvert. Sometimes it's an effort for me to send a text.

 

If overall he is a good guy I wouldn't be too worried about it.

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Men can and do have hormonal cycles. Because we do, and one hormone involved, testosterone, can leave us aggressive and even violent, we learn at a young age to control those impulses and cave them if pronounced. Retreat to a quiet space and it passes. Some men don't have this as much as others. Depends on the man. Also, each man differs in how he expresses his emotions. Some are more demonstrative, some less. Hormones influence emotions. Any guy who's married with a still-menstruating wife knows how that goes! ;)

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Yes some people call it cave time. Sometimes a guy just wants to be left alone in his cave. And doesn't mean you did anything or has anything to do about you.

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Whether we are male or female, our moods will change from time to time. The secret is to be able to deal with our moods without being unpleasant to be around.

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I'm a guy and I would say you should also consider other stress that could be going on. If there is stress at work or with other people, I tend to compartmentalize it and struggle with it on my own without saying anything to anyone else. The end result is that I tend to look distant or angry to other people and they think I am mad it them.

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newyorker11356
I'm a guy and I would say you should also consider other stress that could be going on. If there is stress at work or with other people, I tend to compartmentalize it and struggle with it on my own without saying anything to anyone else. The end result is that I tend to look distant or angry to other people and they think I am mad it them.

 

This as well. Usually because of other people.

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I suspect it's down to his male hormonal cycle.

They can vary in men drastically in regularity and intensity, it might be worth keeping a diary but they tend to be more regular than the female monthly hormonal cycle.

 

Has he ever had his hormone levels checked?

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If the guy has a degree of introversion, then yes he might need alone time sometimes. Or if he's more extroverted, he'll need time with his mates without you. Guys, like girls, have mood swings - I can't find much evidence of longer term hormonal cycles in men but the mood changes definitely exist.

 

Don't stress as long as his more "sweet" moods return. If he gets moody encourage him to go play some sports/do a hobby/go out with the guys. A bit of space every now and then is perfectly healthy.

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If the guy has a degree of introversion, then yes he might need alone time sometimes. Or if he's more extroverted, he'll need time with his mates without you. Guys, like girls, have mood swings - I can't find much evidence of longer term hormonal cycles in men but the mood changes definitely exist.

 

Don't stress as long as his more "sweet" moods return. If he gets moody encourage him to go play some sports/do a hobby/go out with the guys. A bit of space every now and then is perfectly healthy.

 

This actually makes a lot of sense. We’ve spent the past 5 days together and today he was with his friends all day and i didn’t hear from him much. I suppose maybe you hit the nail on the head?

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Men are less likely to spill their guts and talk about what's bothering them than women. Instead they get quiet. It's not necessarily you. It could be a mood or it could be he just didn't have a good day or something is bothering him, and it can take awhile for him to express if something is bothering him...whether it pertains to you or not, but you have to let go of the idea that you did something wrong whenever he gets like this. If this moodiness regular enough it starts getting in the way of your relationship, have a talk with him about at least expressing it's a work issue or he's just moody for no reason, so he can at least assure you it's not you and you can both go about your business. Once you really learn his behaviors, you'll worry less about them.

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This actually makes a lot of sense. We’ve spent the past 5 days together and today he was with his friends all day and i didn’t hear from him much. I suppose maybe you hit the nail on the head?

 

5 days together? That's a lot of together time!

 

Be careful though not to let his moods affect yours and worry that you've done something "wrong." That's edging into co-dependent behavior. Thinking that his moods are about you shouldn't even cross your mind. This is also assuming you have good communication skills otherwise in your relationship and neither of you is conflict avoidant.

 

Whenever he (or anyone) gets into a mood, the best thing to do is leave and go do your thing.

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Yes we have periods... and they usually start about 3 days after the girls, LOL.

 

That is a joke. Everyone has answered and it is normal.

 

Sometime I just get grouchy, and it usually happens when I am stressed at work, or with my relationship, or whatever.

 

It is kind of normal. As long as it is not constant...

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Why is this just for guys. Doesn’t everyone want to be alone sometimes?

 

Men typically resolve problems or stress by self reflection and internal processes.

 

Women typically resolve issues by talking about it.

 

Not to say that women don't want to be alone sometimes, but men seem to want time away from their SO more often or just to be left alone from the world.

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As others have said, sometimes people just want to be left alone. Don't make it about you, it's not. He's not a dancing monkey for you, he's a person too - he has things to do besides just fawn on you with every breath.

 

I had an older friend wake me up one time - I was telling her something like this, and she said, "My, aren't you the center of the universe? You think you're the only reason someone feels better, or worse? You're not the only person on the planet." Helped clear it up for me.

 

Also, you say

Usually he’s all about me and super sweet and telling me how much he loves me constantly. Which i don’t expect this every day....
And yet, he spent FIVE DAYS with you, and you're still mulling over if he likes you? Yes, you seem (from what you've written) to expect it every day.

 

Please try and reign it in a little. Keep the boyfriend, and also get a dog - they're great!

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Usually he’s all about me and super sweet and telling me how much he loves me constantly. Which i don’t expect this every day he just does it.

 

 

He's probably exhausted from making it all about you.

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As long as he is usually open with you and does talk to you about most issues I think it's fine. I'd be concerned if you never had disagreements and he was keeping things inside and not discussing relationship type issues with you. I need my down time by myself or with a buddy, but discuss many things with my girlfriend.

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Also, you sayAnd yet, he spent FIVE DAYS with you, and you're still mulling over if he likes you? Yes, you seem (from what you've written) to expect it every day.

 

Please try and reign it in a little. Keep the boyfriend, and also get a dog - they're great!

 

Thank you Sunlight....I am no wordsmith so you put it far more eloquently than I could.

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How often are we talking about here?

 

Also, spending an entire 5 days together is a really long time if you've just been dating for a couple months IMO. Very likely he needed some alone time but just didn't know how to ask for it.

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How often are we talking about here?

 

Also, spending an entire 5 days together is a really long time if you've just been dating for a couple months IMO. Very likely he needed some alone time but just didn't know how to ask for it.

 

Not too often. This is only the second time in our 5 month relationship. The first time i freaked out because he’d never done that before and so i automatically thought i had done something wrong.

When i asked him about it he said he didn’t even realize he was acting different.

 

This time i think he did just need some time with his friends. He was with them all day yesterday and this morning he’s seemed just fine

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Not too often. This is only the second time in our 5 month relationship. The first time i freaked out because he’d never done that before and so i automatically thought i had done something wrong.

When i asked him about it he said he didn’t even realize he was acting different.

 

This time i think he did just need some time with his friends. He was with them all day yesterday and this morning he’s seemed just fine

 

Yeah, definitely no big deal in that case. I'd focus a bit more on giving each other space. I'm also concerned as to why a couple of quiet evenings in 5 months caused so much anxiety - it might be worth looking into that. I suffer from anxiety myself and use several techniques to prevent it from running amok.

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Also, spending an entire 5 days together is a really long time if you've just been dating for a couple months IMO. Very likely he needed some alone time but just didn't know how to ask for it.
Does he need to ask for it? My goodness, some pretty intense expectations for dating.
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Does he need to ask for it? My goodness, some pretty intense expectations for dating.

 

No he doesn’t necessarily need to ask for it. He can have alone time whenever. But communication is a big factor in making a relationship work and just being upfront and saying he wants some time with his friends or alone would be much better than just giving the cold shoulder

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