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Is he being rude?


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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:05 AM   #1
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Is he being rude?

Iíve recently started casually chatting to a guy on Bumble. Heís quite attractive so Iím interested in speaking to him but Iím trying to decipher whether heís throwing shade at me or acting mysterious for now to Ďstand out.í

I told him he has a nice smile, he responded saying I have a nice pout (I hardly pout in my photos.)
He asked me what kind of lawyer I want to become, I said family law and he said Ďdivorce and heartbreak, interesting 🤔í

I havenít replied yet but before I further a conversation Iíd ideally like some insight as to whether heís being rude or just playful. I would rather be a recluse than waste my time with another who isnít serious.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:08 AM   #2
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Google PUA techniques

Last edited by elaine567; 2nd January 2018 at 8:09 AM.. Reason: removed quote
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:09 AM   #3
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If he's "quite attractive" know he's got options and probably already has someone if only a FWB. I don't see think he was being rude just making an observation.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:11 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by elaine567 View Post
Google PUA techniques
What would you say this pick up technique is? Because frankly itís a slight turn off.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:11 AM   #5
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Sounds kind of rude and dismissive. But only you can determine if heís playing or not. Women seem to think ďsarcasmĒ is an attractive attribute as I see it listed in nearly every NYC profile. Not sure why they think itís a good thing. Perhaps the same is true for guys as well.

This is the problem when you base your matches on only looks.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:13 AM   #6
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If he's "quite attractive" know he's got options and probably already has someone if only a FWB. I don't see think he was being rude just making an observation.
No doubt, Iím sure being on a dating app heís come across many girls. Iím not emotionally invested, just wanted to clear this up before I continue to chat with him because I donít want to waste my time. Could be trying to stand out, who knows.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:17 AM   #7
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Sounds kind of rude and dismissive. But only you can determine if heís playing or not. Women seem to think ďsarcasmĒ is an attractive attribute as I see it listed in nearly every NYC profile. Not sure why they think itís a good thing. Perhaps the same is true for guys as well.

This is the problem when you base your matches on only looks.
I think with sarcasm there is a fine line between humour and rudeness. It needs to be done well for it to work. In this instance I donít find it attractive because he comes across as someone having a dig. Iíll reply back later and see if he continues. It will be the only way I can judge it further.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:19 AM   #8
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Or, just move on to someone else.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:20 AM   #9
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That would piss me off... Perhaps he's trying to be funny, but those little digs, those little one line put downs... They would really wear on me after a while.

I'm not saying I would not give him a chance. But, I wouldn't date someone like this long term...
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:25 AM   #10
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Negging, as it is called, is in essence a trick. The idea is to undermine a woman's confidence by making backhanded or snide remarks Ė give a compliment with one hand, and take away with the other. It is about control, putting the man in charge of the interaction by pushing the woman to earn his approval.
https://www.newstatesman.com/blogs/v...t-dating-trend
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:26 AM   #11
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That would piss me off... Perhaps he's trying to be funny, but those little digs, those little one line put downs... They would really wear on me after a while.

I'm not saying I would not give him a chance. But, I wouldn't date someone like this long term...
Touchť. Hence the post, I thought maybe Iím being too harsh viewing his one liners as a turn off so I figured getting second opinions would help.
Iíll give it 3 more messages, if itís still the same rigid Ďtry to be wittyí messaging Iíll move on to the next profile. Good grief.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:41 AM   #12
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If he's trying to be witty, then he needs to work on his game. Humor, at the expense of someone else, is not humor.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:43 AM   #13
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Interesting. I guess Iím not one who finds it attractive.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:44 AM   #14
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If he's trying to be witty, then he needs to work on his game. Humor, at the expense of someone else, is not humor.
Agree. So you think theyíre cheap shots as opposed to dry wit?
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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:45 AM   #15
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Though he is causing an emotional reaction from the OP. Angry is better than bored when it comes to women Iíve seen.
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