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I need help with my girlfriend, I’m freaking out!?


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Old 1st January 2018, 1:58 PM   #31
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I Guess your right..... nothing I can do Iíll try to move on, but I hope she somehow she sees what sheís done..
What exactly has she done?
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Old 1st January 2018, 1:58 PM   #32
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The worse thing you can do is hope. It'll keep you bound longer and you need to move on. Like she has done already.
I know I guess so.....
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:02 PM   #33
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What exactly has she done?
She ruined a perfect relationship, I know were meant for each other, the way we talked and when we were together pysically she wouldnít ever let me go saying how much she loves me and Shekept asking me you promise you will never let me go.. I told her I would stand by her side always.. I can tell she has some self esteem issues due to her family because her dad left her mom early when she was young.. thatís why I canít comprehend how this happened..... I absolutely treated her ROYALTY and like a queen. Iím not saying anything but I can guarantee she will never find a guy like me.
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:04 PM   #34
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She ruined a perfect relationship, I know were meant for each other, the way we talked and when we were together pysically she wouldnít ever let me go saying how much she loves me and Shekept asking me you promise you will never let me go.. I told her I would stand by her side always.. I can tell she has some self esteem issues due to her family because her dad left her mom early when she was young.. thatís why I canít comprehend how this happened..... I absolutely treated her ROYALTY and like a queen. Iím not saying anything but I can guarantee she will never find a guy like me.
What did your relationship look like on a day to day basis while you were long distance?
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:15 PM   #35
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What did your relationship look like on a day to day basis while you were long distance?
We were talking non stop, and FaceTime etc it was good! And Then ever since her grandmother and her school got very busy I understood but this now going on for a month and bit I then could barely get a hold of her on the phone, we would text but no FaceTime. Texts would take over 6 hours to Respond most the time. I got frustrated a few times asking if everything was okay.. especially on days I wouldnít hear till the next day.. all these events made a darastic change in her behaviour and led to this .. she kept saying that means to much to me etc my support and then she drops a bomb like this .. I donít understand.
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:17 PM   #36
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We were talking non stop, and FaceTime etc it was good! And Then ever since her grandmother and her school got very busy I understood but this now going on for a month and bit I then could barely get a hold of her on the phone, we would text but no FaceTime. Texts would take over 6 hours to Respond most the time. I got frustrated a few times asking if everything was okay.. especially on days I wouldnít hear till the next day.. all these events made a darastic change in her behaviour and led to this .. she kept saying that means to much to me etc my support and then she drops a bomb like this .. I donít understand.
OK. And what would you like your relationship to look like on a day to day basis while being long distance?
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:24 PM   #37
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OK. And what would you like your relationship to look like on a day to day basis while being long distance?
Well I understand times like this come and itís stressful but it got stressed and she saw it when we barely talked 1-3 messages a day ever since this all happened.. I only wanted a 5-10 min call at night or whenever just to talk... she changed ever since this all happened and I assume to due high stress and her feeling sheís not making me ďhappyĒ which I assured her she is but you need to focus on family right now and Iím here for you for anything you need. I didnít do anything wrong and she chose this route.. thatís why I say besides her text she sent me saying all that to me I truely believe itís highly due to an emotional imbalance because it really doesnít make sense. Again all I wanted during this time when she changed was only to check in i didnít mean to cause her more stress or anxiety. We had everything planned..
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:30 PM   #38
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Well I understand times like this come and itís stressful but it got stressed and she saw it when we barely talked 1-3 messages a day ever since this all happened.. I only wanted a 5-10 min call at night or whenever just to talk... she changed ever since this all happened and I assume to due high stress and her feeling sheís not making me ďhappyĒ which I assured her she is but you need to focus on family right now and Iím here for you for anything you need. I didnít do anything wrong and she chose this route.. thatís why I say besides her text she sent me saying all that to me I truely believe itís highly due to an emotional imbalance because it really doesnít make sense. Again all I wanted during this time when she changed was only to check in i didnít mean to cause her more stress or anxiety. We had everything planned..

And she was telling you that it was still too much for her. Just because you say you don't mean to cause her stress or say you weren't expecting to talk/face time all day like before, she of course knows you'd prefer that. You even said yourself that you got frustrated with the delayed responses to the texts and asked if everything was OK. That reiterated to her that it wasn't enough. You can say all you want that you're OK with getting scraps from her, but that doesn't mean she isn't still stressed about not being up to what she knows you would ideally want from her. It's a load off her shoulders to take away all expectations then.

This isn't about how you treated her like royalty (which is not even possible living on another continent) or how much you love her. She's telling you she is spent and making some cuts in her life, starting with the pressure from a romantic relationship.
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:40 PM   #39
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We were talking non stop, and FaceTime etc it was good! And Then ever since her grandmother and her school got very busy I understood but this now going on for a month and bit I then could barely get a hold of her on the phone, we would text but no FaceTime. Texts would take over 6 hours to Respond most the time. I got frustrated a few times asking if everything was okay.. especially on days I wouldnít hear till the next day.. all these events made a darastic change in her behaviour and led to this .. she kept saying that means to much to me etc my support and then she drops a bomb like this .. I donít understand.
This was your mistake right here. She felt pulled by you when what she really needed was for you to give her as much space as she needed. She was already overwhelmed. It was all too much for her.

Sometimes the best support is just a kind word and then allowing the person some space.
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:47 PM   #40
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I have no idea of the course she was studying or its intensity, but a guy texting me all day when I was trying to study would do my head in.
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:48 PM   #41
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
And she was telling you that it was still too much for her. Just because you say you don't mean to cause her stress or say you weren't expecting to talk/face time all day like before, she of course knows you'd prefer that. You even said yourself that you got frustrated with the delayed responses to the texts and asked if everything was OK. That reiterated to her that it wasn't enough. You can say all you want that you're OK with getting scraps from her, but that doesn't mean she isn't still stressed about not being up to what she knows you would ideally want from her. It's a load off her shoulders to take away all expectations then.

This isn't about how you treated her like royalty (which is not even possible living on another continent) or how much you love her. She's telling you she is spent and making some cuts in her life, starting with the pressure from a romantic relationship.
Ya well If thsts her decision I told her I respect it but I think we should still stick together... because itís really not the right choice at all.. I really just feel itís her emotions right now despite what she said.. my gut is telling me that.. because the person she is now and before are WAY different and I tried everything I can..yeah I had my expectations or what i was used to with but I said sorry about everything and I told her I am committed to adapt to the change right now to make it work. Love is about making sacrifices...
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:50 PM   #42
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This was your mistake right here. She felt pulled by you when what she really needed was for you to give her as much space as she needed. She was already overwhelmed. It was all too much for her.

Sometimes the best support is just a kind word and then allowing the person some space.
Then what do I do I guess I wonít contact her until she contacts me... because I KNOW this is a mistake on her end. Itís my gut feeling. She will be back after she misses me I know it. Iím not even hoping I know it...
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:56 PM   #43
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You need to respect her choice.
She was clearly feeling smothered.
I understand it hurts right now but leave her be and cancel that flight.
It's over.
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Old 1st January 2018, 3:03 PM   #44
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Then what do I do I guess I wonít contact her until she contacts me... because I KNOW this is a mistake on her end. Itís my gut feeling. She will be back after she misses me I know it. Iím not even hoping I know it...
Well, the only option you have is to leave her be.

Who knows. As a musician Iíve played more weddings than I can count and Iíve heard countless stories, including some where couples break up and ultimately tie the knot. It happens, bro, but not very often. Just be realistic.

Your only hope of getting her back is to disappear and give her the chance to miss you. If you beg, plead, etc, etc, you will push her even further away.

But also keep in mind, if she broke up with you now, whatís to say she wonít do it again during the next family crisis?

Maybe this is the time to be by yourself and think long and hard about whether a long distance relationship is really the best for you.
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Old 1st January 2018, 3:10 PM   #45
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Well, the only option you have is to leave her be.

Who knows. As a musician Iíve played more weddings than I can count and Iíve heard countless stories, including some where couples break up and ultimately tie the knot. It happens, bro, but not very often. Just be realistic.

Your only hope of getting her back is to disappear and give her the chance to miss you. If you beg, plead, etc, etc, you will push her even further away.

But also keep in mind, if she broke up with you now, whatís to say she wonít do it again during the next family crisis?

Maybe this is the time to be by yourself and think long and hard about whether a long distance relationship is really the best for you.
I will leave her be then for now... Iím not begging or I would of been still contacting again.. all I know if you set it free and comes back itís meant to be.. and well I honestly do love her more than anything. But I understand it is what it is for now but I donít feel itís an absolute deal breaker
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