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Can this be turned around?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 31st December 2017, 12:41 PM   #31
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This gal is either looking for work, or just for the 1st desperate guy available to ring her bells. You may hear from her again when she goes back out on the prowl. But it doesn't sound like something that would be smart to mess with. The only thing you lost here is a chance to get an STD. Nothing about this should make you feel bad about yourself.
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Old 31st December 2017, 12:44 PM   #32
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How do you know this person is even real? A person perhaps but you assume no one lies on the internet?

I assume what I read is a lie....just the opposite.

Why get all disappointing and down on your self when you don't even have all the facts?

Somethings you might not think of when emotions are high.

They might not be who the picture is.
They might be intentially spreading STD's
They might be smashed and not remember any of it.
Might be a group of people just playing internet games and poking fun at the poor folks trying to be serious.
They might have some sort of personality issues you DON'T want involved in
They might be looking for craziness or even looking for a virgin sacrifice.

These might sound nuts but the world takes all kinds and all kinds are out there.
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Old 31st December 2017, 12:48 PM   #33
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I think I get why this would lead to a feeling of let down but I have been checking out your threads for a while and I think it's a win for you that you were engaging in this kind of banter at all. From what I get about you this is out of your comfort zone and IMO your comfort zone is your worst enemy when it comes to dating. That said, I imagine your level of discomfort would be off the charts if this thing came to fruition.

Don't worry about what you did or didn't do or whether she found a different guy, whatever. She was playing and it's not exactly your game.

Tip: Quit telling women how you don't drink very much. It sounds like code for "I am uptight." Unless you are a recovering alcoholic and it's crucial to your sobriety to maintain strong boundaries around that, simply don't drink.


I have tried this before but with nobody attractive enough to make me want to push the envelope at all. If I say I don't drink its an instant deal killer seemingly.


Thing is I don't have a game of any sorts, be the decent guy, get fobbed off, be the guy after one thing, get fobbed off.
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Old 31st December 2017, 12:54 PM   #34
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Do you want quantity or quality?
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Old 31st December 2017, 1:09 PM   #35
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Do you want quantity or quality?


Seeing as I will be 34 next year and haven't had one I guess that's a debatable question!


Just seems to me I cannot keep adopting this "go on a date, try get a second date and so forth" approach which is brought me no dividends, hence I saw this as an admittedly poorly judged opportunity.
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Old 31st December 2017, 1:24 PM   #36
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Your approach is going to depend on the answer.

Quality....Harder to find but more satisfying.

Quantity...easier to get but don't get caught up in games. Play the game just don't take it seriously.
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Old 31st December 2017, 1:38 PM   #37
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Your approach is going to depend on the answer.

Quality....Harder to find but more satisfying.

Quantity...easier to get but don't get caught up in games. Play the game just don't take it seriously.
Not exactly in the position to choose to be honest. What I like and what I can get..
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Old 31st December 2017, 4:19 PM   #38
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I understand very much so.

Just be careful though because I'm telling ya right now, and I mean it, a bad situation is gonna be way worse for ya.
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Old 31st December 2017, 4:30 PM   #39
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I understand very much so.

Just be careful though because I'm telling ya right now, and I mean it, a bad situation is gonna be way worse for ya.


Yes, I understand. Its a balancing act, not had much success at the "take to dinner/take to coffee" type thing. Had a think about this and I think I was sold by the picture and the interest which I never really get.


Chances are she would have met me and not liked me anyway so it would have been a waste of time.
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Old 31st December 2017, 4:41 PM   #40
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Now she doesn't seem interested in meeting up at all, conversation has dried up completely.


From "fetch me, take me for a drink, have fun with me" to no conversation.
Honestly I think I am just stupid to be able to mess something like that up.

Not really, as it seems like she wanted to go out for a drink and as you do not drink, I know of few people who would want to go out drinking at New Year with a teetotaller.
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Old 31st December 2017, 4:51 PM   #41
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Yes, I understand. Its a balancing act, not had much success at the "take to dinner/take to coffee" type thing. Had a think about this and I think I was sold by the picture and the interest which I never really get.


Chances are she would have met me and not liked me anyway so it would have been a waste of time.
But this chick is not looking for someone she "likes" in the 1st place. She is looking for a quick fix of some sort, or money, which has nothing to do with liking a person. You are beating yourself up over nothing.
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Old 31st December 2017, 4:57 PM   #42
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But this chick is not looking for someone she "likes" in the 1st place. She is looking for a quick fix of some sort, or money, which has nothing to do with liking a person. You are beating yourself up over nothing.
Yes just another chance wasted...rare chance at that.
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Old 31st December 2017, 4:58 PM   #43
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Yes just another chance wasted...rare chance at that.
A chance for what? To get laid?
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Old 31st December 2017, 5:06 PM   #44
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Not really, as it seems like she wanted to go out for a drink and as you do not drink, I know of few people who would want to go out drinking at New Year with a teetotaller.
True. Can't argue with that. Of course some searching brought up some alternatives but none of these people are attractive, the one thinks I am just the best...not interested at all. She would have met up tonight.

That's always the point. How do I appeal to people I find attractive. Seems impossible.
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Old 31st December 2017, 5:07 PM   #45
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Not really, as it seems like she wanted to go out for a drink and as you do not drink, I know of few people who would want to go out drinking at New Year with a teetotaller.
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A chance for what? To get laid?
Yes. I have tried the coffee date, tried the dinner date, tried dating sites. It's easy to feel it's nothing to be wanted but it is if nobody you have wanted has ever wanted you.
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