Jump to content

not sure if she likes me...more than a friend


sharkbite0

Recommended Posts

well,

I am in a masters program and I am friends withe everyone in the program. However, one girl in particular has my attention. We are in the same concentration and we talk all the time. I've given her space and she comes back. I left the room without waiting for her...she comes and finds me. She messages me first at least every other day.

 

She tells me about her creepy boss, her family life, job/school stress, but we also laugh about many things and have some inside jokes.

 

I asked her to a friend's christmas party as an attempt to keep it friendly if things didn't go smooth. For example, if we weren't vibing I could just play it off as a friendly invite. MY phone ended up dying while at the party and I didn't get her text asking where it was and when, until the next morning when it was over.

 

I feel like i'm really good at telling when girls like me or not. This girl has me confused, she is also the only girl I actually find to be intiimidating haha. But really sweet, beautiful smile, great personality when talking....

 

What do you guys think? I still have another semester in the program so I am not going to ask her on a date out of nowhere. I said we should meet up over the break and she can tell me about something we were discussing over text and she replied definitely... I don't know if its me not wanting to be vulnerable or what but I don't want to ask her to dinner.....I've debated coffee but I'm still hestitant. Guess I'm no longer the ladies man that I once thought I was hahahahaha. Thanks everyone!

Link to post
Share on other sites

You shouldn't care if she likes you or not...you just ask her out and see if she says yes....that's what men who are confident do.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes she likes you. Especially if she's still talking to you after the party directions SNAFU she likes you.

 

Ask her out before you lose your chance. Get together for NYE

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel like i'm really good at telling when girls like me or not. This girl has me confused, she is also the only girl I actually find to be intiimidating haha. But really sweet, beautiful smile, great personality when talking....

 

 

Why do you find her intimidating if she's so sweet? I don't get it....

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Wait a second here......you asked her to a friend’s party but planned to go separately, and you didn’t give her location and directions? You say if it didn’t go smoothly, you could play it off as a friendly invite - what, just in case she misinterpreted it as a date or something? I highly doubt she would misinterpret your invite as a date!!

 

My gads, good man! Are you going to wait your whole life for a woman to fall out of the sky as a ready bride? You have to do the work. All of your testing her interest, chatting her up, and half hearted invites are not going to cut it.

 

You either thimk she is worth the risk or not.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

lol, some funny comments on here. I appreciate the info. To be honest, I always felt like I had confidence when it came to girls, this one caught me off guard. I ended up asking her to get coffee, she responded 6 hours later saying she has to find out her schedule for next week.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds like you can welcome yourself into the friendzone.

Everything you've done has been spot on for that result and the coffee request totally sealed that deal.

  • Like 8
Link to post
Share on other sites

Why are you trying to “keep things friendly” with a girl you’re interested in? This doesn’t make sense.

 

Your half hearted efforts will get you nothing but half hearted results.

 

I think the above poster is right, you kind of shot yourself in the foot with this one, which is unfortunate, because making New Year’s Eve plans with someone is a good way to show you’re interested in them.

Edited by Sm12345
  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

It's usually pretty easy to know when a girl is interested in you. She will find time to spend with you, and she will be kinda "touchy." If you don't notice these things, she isn't interested.

 

No offence intended here Enigma but I think she has displayed quite a lot of interest. I think she absolutely was interested but OP didn't pick up and act upon it appropriately.

Big mistake with the phone running out of battery but his plan was that if the vibe wasn't there he could pass it off as a friendly invite. That was a no balls invite.

Then the coffee request was lame - so she gave a lame reply. She can't keep being the one showing actual romantic interest which it appeared she has been doing all the while.

When that happens you realise you like a guy who you will always have to initiate anything with. So it's better to quit before anything happens because he can't/won't even take a risk as small as asking for an actual date.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree that a coffee request is kinda lame but it's a start. If a lady is interested, she should be more willing.

 

I think she did more than enough.

 

She was following him into rooms when he deliberately left without her because he wanted to see if she would follow.

 

She was texting him first every other day.

 

He invited her to a party but it sounds like her invited her as friends and also at the last minute. And then he didn’t text her the details. If he never told her his phone died, she probably thinks he just didn’t take the time to text her the info because he didn’t want to interrupt his fun at the party. (Inviting her last minute and planning to go separately was lame anyway.)

 

He said that they should meet up, she says definitely, and then, apparently, the OP did nothing. Most men would say, great, how about Tuesday at 7:00.

 

Then, who knows how many days go by and he asks her to go for coffee.

 

She’s done her part, he didn’t do his. The OP tried to “sneak” his way into dating her by trying to hide his intentions so that he could take away the risk of rejection while also arranging pseudo dates. Seems like she saw through it and wasn’t impressed.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

I kind of agree Enigma but you're a different type of man to the OP.

Something which I know well enough now from your posts. (this is meant as a compliment btw).

 

See (and I'm going to sound like I am womansplainin' here.:laugh: Forgive me!). If these things had happened to you and she had got your attention and you fancied her you would have asked her on a date before now and it would have been more than a coffee, more than a party invite where you can be ambiguous about it being a date if it didn't pan out.

well,

I am in a masters program and I am friends withe everyone in the program. However, one girl in particular has my attention. We are in the same concentration and we talk all the time. I've given her space and she comes back. I left the room without waiting for her...she comes and finds me. She messages me first at least every other day.

 

She tells me about her creepy boss, her family life, job/school stress, but we also laugh about many things and have some inside jokes.

 

I asked her to a friend's christmas party as an attempt to keep it friendly if things didn't go smooth. For example, if we weren't vibing I could just play it off as a friendly invite. MY phone ended up dying while at the party and I didn't get her text asking where it was and when, until the next morning when it was over.

 

I feel like i'm really good at telling when girls like me or not. This girl has me confused, she is also the only girl I actually find to be intiimidating haha. But really sweet, beautiful smile, great personality when talking....

 

What do you guys think? I still have another semester in the program so I am not going to ask her on a date out of nowhere. I said we should meet up over the break and she can tell me about something we were discussing over text and she replied definitely... I don't know if its me not wanting to be vulnerable or what but I don't want to ask her to dinner.....I've debated coffee but I'm still hestitant. Guess I'm no longer the ladies man that I once thought I was hahahahaha. Thanks everyone!

 

She gave him all positives, all those bold parts - lots of signals and signs plus action.

 

Let's say she is a woman who likes the guy to ask her out, she got a party invite - not quite a date no but she was up for that and up for going with him.

I assume he apologised profusely for his error - but at that point if I were her I would have been hoping for a dinner or a day out date invite.

 

We don't see an apology nor any in between contact but I assume there has been some kind of contact prior to him asking her for coffee(?).

 

Maybe there wasn't, OP hasn't mentioned it.

 

But all that and her being very willing then it feels of a bit of a fall flat when he asks for a coffee. It's not specified as a date so for all she is aware this is just a coffee to talk about the college thing whatever it was that the OP mentioned.

Therefore prolonging things out to still no actual date when she has IMO been pretty damn clear she was interested both in words and actions.

There appears to have been a good fair amount of opportunities where he could have picked up and just rolled with a date invite and he hasn't.

 

I would likely by this point give the same response as she did and would have begun to go off the boil when nothing seemed to happen after the phone charging error - from which he could have totally bounced back.

 

I think her actions went on for at least a couple of weeks for him to have spotted her behaviours and noticed them so clearly.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Honestly, I'm not madly in love or anything. It was a quick crush, was looking for some feedback on the situation. We still text, who knows what the future holds...

 

Was just a funny situation to be in. Like you guys said, usually you can tell if a girl likes you or not. Maybe I screwed up a few things along the way. That's okay, I won't argue having a beautiful girl as a friend. New Years Eve I danced with a girl, exchanged numbers and we have a date on weds.

 

Wish me luck, as I wish all of you the best of luck!

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...