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Good first date but now what?


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Old 2nd January 2018, 4:30 PM   #46
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So nothing from her today...

I'm thinking give her until tomorrow around 6 pm then if nothing from her just move on?

Or should I make one final attempt by saying 'hey, we on for golf tomorrow then? Would be nice to see you! X'
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Old 2nd January 2018, 5:31 PM   #47
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So nothing from her today...

I'm thinking give her until tomorrow around 6 pm then if nothing from her just move on?

Or should I make one final attempt by saying 'hey, we on for golf tomorrow then? Would be nice to see you! X'
I know its hard, I'm in a similar situation right now, wait it out, if she wants a second date she will be in touch. you may come across needy in her eyes if you text again after you said get in touch after new year. just wait.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 6:35 PM   #48
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I know its hard, I'm in a similar situation right now, wait it out, if she wants a second date she will be in touch. you may come across needy in her eyes if you text again after you said get in touch after new year. just wait.
You're right. No communication from me then.

Have to say this is the first time I have just waited and been patient - it looked promising after the first date as she suggested a second date before me but I'm thinking the christmas break and her going home as actually hindered it? It feels like the initial interest she had has gone. Maybe I'm wrong. Don't feel like I did anything needy or wrong this time though so maybe just wasn't meant to be if I don't hear from her.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 6:43 PM   #49
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You're right. No communication from me then.

Have to say this is the first time I have just waited and been patient - it looked promising after the first date as she suggested a second date before me but I'm thinking the christmas break and her going home as actually hindered it? It feels like the initial interest she had has gone. Maybe I'm wrong. Don't feel like I did anything needy or wrong this time though so maybe just wasn't meant to be if I don't hear from her.
thats right mate, sometimes another guy catches their eye on online dating and thats it, you're forgotten about, thats the dating game unfortunately. if she's into you enough you'll hear from her when she realises she hasn't heard from you in a while, if you message now she subconsciously think yea this guys really into me, I've got him whenever I want, I'm not sure if he's exciting enough for me now. that'd how they think. you've got to have a mentality where you think, you want to see me, great! lets get together, or she doesn't want to see me, great on to the next, have a care free mindset.
and if you do hear from her be assertive and arrange a date and time, then get off the phone, no endless small talk, it bores them. get off the phone and make them wonder why youre not wanting to talk to them all the time
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Old 2nd January 2018, 6:58 PM   #50
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She's not interest. Waste no more of your thought on this lass
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:24 PM   #51
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I don't know...I think that I would wait and send her one more text a few days after she is back in town if she does not get back to you. She is just getting back after being away Christmas and New Years. A lot to catch up on. If she doesn't reply after that, then you can ride off into the sunset and not give her another thought.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 7:39 PM   #52
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no more second chances. (More like at least 5th now) Start searching for the next

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Old 3rd January 2018, 2:16 PM   #53
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So...

I went through my day and it got to 5 pm and nothing from her still so I thought **** it and sent a message 'We on for golf tomorrow? I Promise to go easy on you '

I thought she wouldn't reply but 2 minutes later she did 'haha yeah, can I let you know what time though? Will be in the library getting my uni essay done so it will be later'

So I said 'yeah cool, let me know' and she said 'I will do '

I honestly expected her to turn me down or ghost based on her none contact this week. I suppose the only thing she could do now is use her essay as an excuse to cancel tomorrow at some point...but then if she wasn't interested why go to the bother of replying at all?

God I hate my neurosis!
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Old 3rd January 2018, 2:23 PM   #54
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So...

I went through my day and it got to 5 pm and nothing from her still so I thought **** it and sent a message 'We on for golf tomorrow? I Promise to go easy on you '

I thought she wouldn't reply but 2 minutes later she did 'haha yeah, can I let you know what time though? Will be in the library getting my uni essay done so it will be later'

So I said 'yeah cool, let me know' and she said 'I will do '

I honestly expected her to turn me down or ghost based on her none contact this week. I suppose the only thing she could do now is use her essay as an excuse to cancel tomorrow at some point...but then if she wasn't interested why go to the bother of replying at all?

God I hate my neurosis!
Thatís a good sign, although from experience I wouldnít assume 100% youíre seeing her tomorrow. Since she told you sheís in the library Sheís got an excuse ready for when she cancels on you. Iím not saying this is going to happen but just a heads up.

I usually take my offer back at the point and sayĒ letís make plans for when youíre definitely freeĒ
I hope Iím wrong so good luck mate, she got back to you at least
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Old 3rd January 2018, 2:26 PM   #55
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Thatís a good sign, although from experience I wouldnít assume 100% youíre seeing her tomorrow. Since she told you sheís in the library Sheís got an excuse ready for when she cancels on you. Iím not saying this is going to happen but just a heads up.

I usually take my offer back at the point and sayĒ letís make plans for when youíre definitely freeĒ
I hope Iím wrong so good luck mate, she got back to you at least
Exactly my thinking, although I did know about this essay as she told me about it before we actually met for our first date 2 weeks ago and on the date too so I know it's not a fictional essay but it would be very easy for her to use it if she was a bit meh about seeing me tomorrow.

But if she was really not interested at all then why not just say she can't see me tomorrow because of the essay?

I guess tomorrow will show me once and for all. Can't work this one out at all!
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Old 3rd January 2018, 2:29 PM   #56
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Exactly my thinking, although I did know about this essay as she told me about it before we actually met for our first date 2 weeks ago and on the date too so I know it's not a fictional essay but it would be very easy for her to use it if she was a bit meh about seeing me tomorrow.

But if she was really not interested at all then why not just say she can't see me tomorrow because of the essay?

I guess tomorrow will show me once and for all. Can't work this one out at all!
Yea exactly you’ll know tomorrow. It all comes down to and it’s the same for all of us, when we like someone we’ll make time for them. Definitely don’t text her again now. Let her text you about a time. She will either text you and confirm, cancel or you’ll never hear from her. I’ve had all 3 and I’m very good at guessing which way it will go now judging on her previous behaviours, either way you’ll find out tomorrow, just don’t text her

Some girls just enjoy having guys chase them, they will agree all week to plans they’ve arranged with you then when it comes to the day you never hear from them. It’s jusy to pass time and to have their ego stroked. It’s a sign of immaturity of the highest degree.

I do think this girls very busy genuinely so good luck.

Last edited by python23; 3rd January 2018 at 2:32 PM..
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Old 4th January 2018, 1:06 PM   #57
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Yea exactly youíll know tomorrow. It all comes down to and itís the same for all of us, when we like someone weíll make time for them. Definitely donít text her again now. Let her text you about a time. She will either text you and confirm, cancel or youíll never hear from her. Iíve had all 3 and Iím very good at guessing which way it will go now judging on her previous behaviours, either way youíll find out tomorrow, just donít text her

Some girls just enjoy having guys chase them, they will agree all week to plans theyíve arranged with you then when it comes to the day you never hear from them. Itís jusy to pass time and to have their ego stroked. Itís a sign of immaturity of the highest degree.

I do think this girls very busy genuinely so good luck.
Looks like my fears were right - its just gone 5 PM UK time and no word from her today - not even an excuse offered, just nothing. The golf place closes at 10 PM so maybe when she meant 'it will be later' she meant really late but really doubt it now.

She seemed quite nice and she's 27 so not exactly a silly, immature girl so this surprises me I have to say. I'm unsure why she didn't just say yesterday that she had work to do so wouldn't be able to see me - at least then I would have known and wouldn't have had some expectation today.

It seems that for some reason once she went home for Christmas she either realised she wasn't that into me as she thought right after our date, re-connected with an ex and didn't know how to tell me or just decided she didn't want to see me again for whatever reason but didn't explicitly give me the let down just in case.

I guess I should count myself lucky and move on to the next one - frustrating though as I really applied all the advice this time - I hardly contacted her except to try and cement a second date.
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Old 4th January 2018, 1:14 PM   #58
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Looks like my fears were right - its just gone 5 PM UK time and no word from her today - not even an excuse offered, just nothing. The golf place closes at 10 PM so maybe when she meant 'it will be later' she meant really late but really doubt it now.

She seemed quite nice and she's 27 so not exactly a silly, immature girl so this surprises me I have to say. I'm unsure why she didn't just say yesterday that she had work to do so wouldn't be able to see me - at least then I would have known and wouldn't have had some expectation today.

It seems that for some reason once she went home for Christmas she either realised she wasn't that into me as she thought right after our date, re-connected with an ex and didn't know how to tell me or just decided she didn't want to see me again for whatever reason but didn't explicitly give me the let down just in case.

I guess I should count myself lucky and move on to the next one - frustrating though as I really applied all the advice this time - I hardly contacted her except to try and cement a second date.
Hope is not lost. 5PM is not "later" at all. I would assume 7 or 8 is "later" for this type of activity. It's a little rude of her not to text you yet, but that doesn't mean she won't. Give it until 7:30 before you assume that.
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Old 4th January 2018, 1:25 PM   #59
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Looks like my fears were right - its just gone 5 PM UK time and no word from her today - not even an excuse offered, just nothing. The golf place closes at 10 PM so maybe when she meant 'it will be later' she meant really late but really doubt it now.

She seemed quite nice and she's 27 so not exactly a silly, immature girl so this surprises me I have to say. I'm unsure why she didn't just say yesterday that she had work to do so wouldn't be able to see me - at least then I would have known and wouldn't have had some expectation today.

It seems that for some reason once she went home for Christmas she either realised she wasn't that into me as she thought right after our date, re-connected with an ex and didn't know how to tell me or just decided she didn't want to see me again for whatever reason but didn't explicitly give me the let down just in case.

I guess I should count myself lucky and move on to the next one - frustrating though as I really applied all the advice this time - I hardly contacted her except to try and cement a second date.
Yes I very much doubt you’ll hear from her now. At this point I wouldn’t be going anyway even if she did message you say at 7/8 and say I’m free now, all this does if you agree to see her is show you’re waiting around for a text when actually, you’re a busy guy who values his time.

If she text you around 7 I would personally say something like “ hey I’m sorry due to not hearing from you I’ve made other plans with a friend of mine” it’s rude of her not to have text you to give her an update on the day.
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Old 4th January 2018, 2:38 PM   #60
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Where are you from in the UK? This sounds awfully like a girl I've dated previously
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