LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Dating guy a Muslim guy


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree25Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 14th December 2017, 10:09 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 19
Dating guy a Muslim guy

I am polish/Christian and he is Turkish/Muslim. He is not religious just believes in god but his parents are. The problem is he is hiding our relationship and Iím taking it personally. He hasnít told his parents or anyone about me but he loves me, he is telling me he told them but I know he doesnít. Is he hiding me because I am not Muslim? ((
Swedishfishy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th December 2017, 10:14 PM   #2
Established Member
 
RecentChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 4,685
So....

He hides you from his family.
He lies about skipping college class / where he is
He has a gaming addiction
He has talked about marriage because he needs a green card.
He turn things around on you any time you question him.

Please tell us the good things about him and why you are with him.

Have you told your parents about him?

And the honest truth? Religion and family is often a huge barrier to making these things work.
RecentChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th December 2017, 10:15 PM   #3
Established Member
 
simpleNfit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Where the snow is better than in Colorado!
Posts: 2,343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swedishfishy View Post
I am polish/Christian and he is Turkish/Muslim. He is not religious just believes in god but his parents are. The problem is he is hiding our relationship and Iím taking it personally. He hasnít told his parents or anyone about me but he loves me, he is telling me he told them but I know he doesnít. Is he hiding me because I am not Muslim? ((
Yes. He knows that his family will not support this relationship and he is not ready to go at alone, w/o his family, that is. Such relationships with such diverging cultures and beliefs are SO difficult to maintain unless both are non-religious AND independent from the social/religious norms supported by the family.
__________________
...love being a father!
simpleNfit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th December 2017, 10:29 PM   #4
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by simpleNfit View Post
Yes. He knows that his family will not support this relationship and he is not ready to go at alone, w/o his family, that is. Such relationships with such diverging cultures and beliefs are SO difficult to maintain unless both are non-religious AND independent from the social/religious norms supported by the family.
So even if we truly love each other, it wonít work ?
Swedishfishy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th December 2017, 10:33 PM   #5
Established Member
 
alphamale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, MI :lmao:
Posts: 33,246
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swedishfishy View Post
So even if we truly love each other, it wonít work ?
basically?? yes
__________________
Indeed
alphamale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th December 2017, 10:49 PM   #6
Established Member
 
simpleNfit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Where the snow is better than in Colorado!
Posts: 2,343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swedishfishy View Post
So even if we truly love each other, it wonít work ?
I truly don't believe it will. Think about this as well....

Why would your Muslim bf find it okay to date you knowing that the chances that this relationship flourishes is impossible? I have to wonder whether he is AS in love as you are with him. I wonder if he is quite aware from the start that this type of relationship would not work...sorry, but can't help thinking along those terms.
simpleNfit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th December 2017, 11:36 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Fleur de cactus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 364
Hi, I think it is not easy to know what your bf is thinking. It does not sound good since he hides your relationship. However, donít get discouraged. I know a couple that was in a similar situation. The bf was afraid of his father who paid for his school fees. It took them long time to intruduce the gf to his family. Finally they are married and have kids together. What is important is to be open. Let him know that he does not have to tell you lies. With mutual trust , you can figure out what is best for you.
All the best.
Fleur de cactus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th December 2017, 11:48 PM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 139
Yes, I do believe he is hiding you because you are not Muslim.

I was in a similar situation but as a same sex couple. My ex's family is Muslim and she was no longer religious. She told me from the beginning that she didn't care what her family thought and that she was very much in love with me. A little after a year into our relationship she told her most open-minded cousin about me. The cousin promptly told her to dump me or she'd get kicked out of the family. I got my heart broken within a week of her cousin finding out about us.

Unless he is truly willing to lose his family for love, I think you'll remain a secrete for a while until he feels more comfortable or decides to please his family. Not to be a downer but just want to give you some perspective. (Watch the movie called the Big Sick for more understanding)
Gillys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th December 2017, 12:29 AM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: SE Australia
Posts: 418
Quote:
Originally Posted by RecentChange View Post
So....

He hides you from his family.
He lies about skipping college class / where he is
He has a gaming addiction
He has talked about marriage because he needs a green card.
He turn things around on you any time you question him.

Please tell us the good things about him and why you are with him.

Have you told your parents about him?

And the honest truth? Religion and family is often a huge barrier to making these things work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swedishfishy View Post
So even if we truly love each other, it wonít work ?
The question is, are you willing to put up with all this (for possibly the rest of your life) because you're in love with him? You may find it will get old very quickly.

Another question (slightly brutal) - are you sure he is as in love with you as you say he is? His actions don't seem to suggest that.
snowboy91 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th December 2017, 12:33 AM   #10
Established Member
 
alphamale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, MI :lmao:
Posts: 33,246
he just wants green card
alphamale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th December 2017, 5:43 AM   #11
Established Member
 
Arieswoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Cheshire, England
Posts: 3,567
Swedishfishy,
I saw your scenario play out so many times when i was at Uni.

There were girls I knew who dated foreign students who were training to be Doctors. They all thought they would eventually have the status of marrying a doctor and living abroad in some exotic country in a mansion where the sun always shone and they'd have servants etc.

Wrong.

As soon as these guys finished their training they went back abroad to marry some "nice girl" from their own culture.They just used the English girls as a "comfort facility" while they were here and their families knew nothing about it.

Tread warily.....
Arieswoman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th December 2017, 12:30 PM   #12
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 587
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swedishfishy View Post
So even if we truly love each other, it wonít work ?
If you truly loved each other you could make it work, but there is nothing that you have posted about him that indicates he loves you. You may love him...but its not enough.
Whodatdog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th December 2017, 12:57 PM   #13
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Singapore
Posts: 2
Haram

Hi Swedishfishy,

As far as i know dating or in relationship with muslim is Haram or not allowed for them and I also think that he never mentioned you to his family. But remember if you love him and he loves, even if his muslim you will be together.
Thanks
rysmithy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th December 2017, 1:24 PM   #14
Established Member
 
alphamale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, MI :lmao:
Posts: 33,246
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arieswoman View Post
Swedishfishy,
I saw your scenario play out so many times when i was at Uni.

There were girls I knew who dated foreign students who were training to be Doctors. They all thought they would eventually have the status of marrying a doctor and living abroad in some exotic country in a mansion where the sun always shone and they'd have servants etc.

Wrong.

As soon as these guys finished their training they went back abroad to marry some "nice girl" from their own culture.They just used the English girls as a "comfort facility" while they were here and their families knew nothing about it.

Tread warily.....
I've seen this too
alphamale is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dating a beautiful Muslim girl... Desensitized Dating 7 6th January 2012 7:09 PM
Dating a muslim girl but it took a wrong turn BraNNdon Dating 3 22nd July 2011 3:09 AM
Dating a Muslim... TaleSpin Dating 68 20th November 2009 4:54 PM
long distance love b/w Muslim & Non Muslim shahrukh Long-Distance Relationships 2 18th January 2006 3:55 AM
Dating A Muslim Girl... Vansteubanson Dating 11 6th April 2005 12:52 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 7:58 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.