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Can a relationship survive when 2 people are very busy?


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Old 14th December 2017, 10:05 AM   #1
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Can a relationship survive when 2 people are very busy?

Hello! My boyfriend (23 years old) and I (21 years old) have been together for 8 months and when we first started we used to see each other like 4 or 5 times a week and he was extremely attentive with me but lately we have been so busy that we barely have time. He is a programmer and now he also has like 2 big proyects and he has to help his mom financially. Iím not as busy as him but I usually come home at 8 pm from work and we donít live together, we are also both students.
Now we usually see like 2 times a week but we stay in touch through all day with messages or calls.

Yesterday he called me and told me that he is worried that he is not paying me enough attention and that he is scare that I could feel ignored or not loved, I told him that I was fine but very deep inside I feel that I miss him and all the attention that he used to give me and I know is selfish but I canít help it.
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Old 14th December 2017, 10:09 AM   #2
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Sure, a relationship can survive it, but you have to both be OK with the level/frequency of attention. It won't work if one person needs more than the other.
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Old 14th December 2017, 10:15 AM   #3
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Of course busy people can have a relationship. It takes patience & understanding. Your BF is already conscious that he is spending a lot of time at work. His acknowledgement of his conflicting obligations is a good sign. On your side, you need to be grateful for his awareness & accept that this is a temporary situation. When the 2 projects & the holidays are over, with exams being behind him, you two will have more time for each other. If you pester him or whine, he will leave.

When DH & I first got together I had a FT job (I own the company); a PT job; I was working toward & eventually became the State President of a large organization; I served on 2 boards of trustees & was caring for my dying parents. DH had a FT job, a PT job & was going to school on line. It doesn't get much busier that that, yet we made it work. Sometimes "dates" involved sitting in the same room doing our own work.
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Old 14th December 2017, 11:23 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael16 View Post
Hello! My boyfriend (23 years old) and I (21 years old) have been together for 8 months and when we first started we used to see each other like 4 or 5 times a week and he was extremely attentive with me but lately we have been so busy that we barely have time. He is a programmer and now he also has like 2 big proyects and he has to help his mom financially. Iím not as busy as him but I usually come home at 8 pm from work and we donít live together, we are also both students.
Now we usually see like 2 times a week but we stay in touch through all day with messages or calls.

Yesterday he called me and told me that he is worried that he is not paying me enough attention and that he is scare that I could feel ignored or not loved, I told him that I was fine but very deep inside I feel that I miss him and all the attention that he used to give me and I know is selfish but I canít help it.
Busy people usually say it can work. Less busy people are more doubtful.
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Old 15th December 2017, 12:10 AM   #5
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I think it's good to be as busy as you possibly can with work or other things. As a matter of fact, I stay as busy as possible so that I don't have time to sit and lament about my love life being so sterile. The object is to take the focus off yourself and focus on expanding and changing yourself.

But in your situation, when suddenly two people who have been together for a bit suddenly become busy, you realize that there are other things going on and you have to let the relationship take a backseat for a few. But you will come back if you are committed to each other. This is part of what being in a relationship is about - juggling and balance challenges.
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Old 15th December 2017, 1:19 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Rachael16 View Post
Hello! My boyfriend (23 years old) and I (21 years old) have been together for 8 months and when we first started we used to see each other like 4 or 5 times a week and he was extremely attentive with me but lately we have been so busy that we barely have time. He is a programmer and now he also has like 2 big proyects and he has to help his mom financially. Iím not as busy as him but I usually come home at 8 pm from work and we donít live together, we are also both students.
Now we usually see like 2 times a week but we stay in touch through all day with messages or calls.

Yesterday he called me and told me that he is worried that he is not paying me enough attention and that he is scare that I could feel ignored or not loved, I told him that I was fine but very deep inside I feel that I miss him and all the attention that he used to give me and I know is selfish but I canít help it.
Nope!! It cannot work!
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