Broken183 Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 (edited) I met this guy at a bar back in October. We texted for a couple weeks and then stopped. Then we started again because he never replied to my last text because he forgot about it and only then realized. I asked him on a date and he said yes. Then he canceled for a family emergency. He called me to apologize and then texted me to apologize again. We rescheduled. He ended up taking the wrong uber so I get the sense he may be a little flighty. We stayed on our date for 2.5 hours and then he mentioned a couple times that he had fun. We texted a little after. I haven't heard from him in a day which isn't a big deal, but I was wondering if it's been a few days how to ask him if he's not interested? I know actions speak louder but I HATE the whole ghosting thing and I just want a straightforward answer. Because I've had guys not text for two weeks and then pop put of nowhere with a text and by then I had deleted their number and forgot who they were. Edited December 11, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 OK, tangent and all, how does one take the 'wrong uber'? I mean, I'm still an old-fashioned taxi guy but I get in, tell the driver the address or building, and they go. Never a failure yet. On the interest thing, it's strangers and a day. It's easy in this era of instant everything to get impatient if things don't move at warp speed but IMO date other guys and if you want to see this one again, cool, ring him up and make an uber joke and ask him on a date. Answer received. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 ^^^^^^this Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broken183 Posted December 11, 2017 Author Share Posted December 11, 2017 He accidentally put in the wrong address and didn't notice he was leaving the part of the city. And that's why I'm saying it's only been a day but I also don't want to come across as desperate. I just enjoyed my time with me and I would hope he wouldn't have lied about feeling the same. I've been out of the dating game for a few years so I'm just nervous about all the "rules" Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 On the reschedule, did he clearly ask you out? Like 'I'm so sorry about cancelling and I'd love to see you on xxx. Would xxx be OK?' I re-read and noted the first approach was by you. If that's a pattern, then I'll retract my suggestion to ask him out if the push has been by you at every turn. Interest and effort should be authentic and mutual for things to work out. If you feel things have been on your back, IMO accept the interest and date requests from other men and see how this pans out. IME, when actively dating, certain people rise to the top and others fade into the background. It isn't purposeful rather just how things go and is normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broken183 Posted December 11, 2017 Author Share Posted December 11, 2017 I'm usually the one who initiates conversation but he is always engaged. He did actually ask me to reschedule though and he did iniate that. So I'm kind of confused. My last relationship was 3.5 years so I am just very nervous. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 Cool, thanks. A bit of mystery and nervousness and confusion kinda is what makes romance fun. IMO, let it ride for a few days and touch base and see what happens. If you feel like asking him out, do that. If you tend to be a relationship person and feel most settled in marriage or LTR's, dating can be a bit unnerving. Maddening was my remembrance Anyway, it'll work out, one way or another. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broken183 Posted December 11, 2017 Author Share Posted December 11, 2017 Thank you so much! Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 (edited) No, don't ask him. He'll deny it, but his actions will bear out that he's not interested. I'd just leave him be. The reschedule should have been on him. He should have been scheduling that, not you. Edited December 11, 2017 by kendahke 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broken183 Posted December 12, 2017 Author Share Posted December 12, 2017 He did reschedule. He was the one who rescheduled. And then he told me twice he had fun without my iniating it. Link to post Share on other sites
Saracena Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 If you met back in October and you've only had one date, IMO he's not all that interested, sorry. Usually, guys who are try to lock you down quickly lest they lose their opportunity. I most certainly would not reach out to him to ask him if he's interested. Now you've met up I'd definitely leave it up to him to contact you first. If he doesn't, you'll have your answer! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 I've also found folks to have spouses or partners or boyfriends (in my case, dating women) lurking and they were testing the waters. There's many potential reasons for people to go dark. Sure, lack of interest could be one. However, since this is a guy if he had little interest he'd have gone right to sex or not ground it out for 2.5 hours, rather cut bait. Guys are like that OP, if you do decide to touch base (don't confuse that with seeking to ask him on a date) and he doesn't sound enthused to hear your voice (call him if you decide to touch base), I'd move on. Maybe it's not a definitive answer but sometimes your instincts are your healthiest play. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 Based on what you said, I don't think it's whether or not he's interested in you, it's his being a bit of a flake and do YOU want to deal with that from this point forward? Link to post Share on other sites
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