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Is my boyfriend starting to taking me for granted?


Michaela16

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When we first started dating he wanted to see me like 5 or 4 times a week, he used to sent me long texts all day and was really romantic, taking me to nice places, giving me roses and he was really attentive, honestly but now that we have been together for 8 months he is ok with only seeing me 2 times a week, he doesn't text me very much through the day and it sucks because I was used to see him and communicate more often, what can I do to make him more interested again?

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Do you know any couples that have been dating 8 months and continue seeing each other 4-5 times a week and text all day?

 

It's normal at first people make super extra effort because it's what it takes to build a connection. When that connection is established the relationship settles down a bit and it's a must, no one can keep up with 4 visits a week and texting all day, they need to go back to their life.

 

The first year we dated my bf visited me 5-6 times a week. Now I see him on weekends only and maybe 1 night a week. We both could not continue visiting so often and not neglect other aspects of our life.

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No, I don't believe he is taking you for granted; you two have just slipped out of the "honeymoon phase". This can be a stumbling block in many relationships if the parties involved don't recognize it and work with it. Folks are going to hit their "comfort zone" in a relationship and things are going to die down a little bit. You do your best to keep the passion alive by planning nice days/evenings out but it is hard to expect that the relationship remain the same as it was.

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The honeymoon phase is over....that's when couples settle down from their infatuation and need their space from each other. It's healthy to have a life/friends outside the relationship to keep you grounded, and things fresh.

 

Time to come up with different things to "stimulate" the relationship. Plan real dates, day trips, or hang out with other couples, and have parties, or a board game night, try a new activity together, etc.

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I can't agree with my former. I think in a relationship people spend more and more time together. In the beginning, you meet 2 times a week, then 5 and then you live together. I think you should talk to him that you need more meeting... It's totally normal that you need it. You need attention and you want to feel you are loved by him. Try to talk.

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He was courting you in the beginning - flowers, romance, lots of connection, all meant to achieve the goal of being together as a couple. It is natural to move past the courtship phase and become partners, which means supporting each's others needs including time for other things. It sounds like he feels secure in your relationship. You could definitely talk to him and see if he is willing to meet your need for more communication as it sounds like you miss that.

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Seeing someone 5 days a week and texting all day is excessive. Keeping that up, y'all will neglect other aspects of your lives like others have mentioned.

 

Don't panic because it has dropped off. Honestly, this is how it should have been from the beginning. Once or at most twice a week is perfect. Texting should be highly limited as well. All day texting is simply too much.

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When we first started dating he wanted to see me like 5 or 4 times a week, he used to sent me long texts all day and was really romantic, taking me to nice places, giving me roses and he was really attentive, honestly but now that we have been together for 8 months he is ok with only seeing me 2 times a week, he doesn't text me very much through the day and it sucks because I was used to see him and communicate more often, what can I do to make him more interested again?

 

How often do you initiate text messages?

 

There can be times of ebbs and flow in a dating relationship. Maybe you need to suggest something to spice things up a bit?

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Second attempt: How long have you two been dating one another?

 

 

My bad... I didn't see this:

that we have been together for 8 months he is ok with only seeing me 2 times a week,
2 things could be in play:

 

1. You have both now settled into the reality of who each of you actually is. The representatives who were on their best behavior have been dismissed and now the real you and the real him have come to the fore. This generally happens at the 3-6 month mark. By 6 months in, who you are dealing with is exactly who and what he is. He may feel that he's accomplished what he needed to accomplish through the wooing phase--you being interested emotionally, psychologically and physically, so he may feel he can begin incorporating his life back into his day to day.

 

You may be stuck in the honeymoon phase, not willing to move into this deeper water as relationships mature on the continuum.

 

OR

 

2. He's losing interest in the whole thing because your need to see him 5 days a week and texting all the time can come across as you becoming a bit too clingy and making him the sole focus of your whole life( aka: feeling suffocated). That's a lot to thrust upon someone. He may not be prepared to be the lone star in your galaxy around which you orbit.

 

Also, not everyone is prepared to keep up the courting end of relationships ad infinitum. They are supposed to mature and move into deeper waters as you begin becoming incorporated into the life they were already living when you turned up on the scene.

 

The last post you made about not being able to be besties with his circle of friends who he's known way waaay longer than he's known you was the first clue on this.

 

Whatever you were doing with your life back in April? Get back to doing some of that. Get your focus back on your life and doing things which occupy your mind and take up your time. If this is a case of him losing interest because he feels he has to save you from yourself all week long, backing up and "reclaiming your time" with yourself could go a long way in showing him that you're not clingy and have other focuses in your life other than him coming in to save you from yourself.

 

Oh, and him getting back into the rhythm of his life which he put aside to court you, which is normal, isn't him taking anything for granted. Had you been doing the same thing, this thread wouldn't be here.

Edited by kendahke
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There's nothing you can do to make him more interested. He either is or he isn't.

 

My fiance and I went from thinking we were just going to talk on the phone, to thinking we were going to date long distance, to normal dating then engagement and moving in together. There was never a backwards slide in time or commitment. But that's what a guy being interested and staying that way actually looks like.

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