kangaroo Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 So I’ve been seeing a guy, 8 dates in and there’s mixed signals. Neither of us are ready for a relationship due to various factors. I pulled him up on the mixed signals as it was confusing. We’ve talked and we both still wanna spend time together as we get on really well and it’s fun, the sex is good too. My issue is that at the beginning he said he wasn’t seeing anyone unless I was (which I’m not. I only see one guy at a time). I sometimes get anxiety (all under control and not very often), and it’s around past relationships and cheating, other girls etc. It just doesn’t work for me. Me and this guy have decided to keep meeting and having fun, doing cool things. I might have to leave the country for food in a few months and want to enjoy the rest of the time I have here with him. We both agreed no expectations, which is good because it takes the pressure off us both (he has bad anxiety) but because of what starts my anxiety, I really would prefer if he didn’t see other girls while I’m here. That’s not because I want anything more from him than what is already there, because I don’t, but it’s more about respect and the crap I’ve been through before because of it. Is this something I can ask him for? Considering we have said no expectations? Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 You can ask for anything you want or need. He may say he can't do it. But I don't think that sounds unreasonable to ask. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted December 7, 2017 Share Posted December 7, 2017 Why not? If you both want to do it, go for it. That’s much better than the opposite (‘relationship’ with wandering eyes). Link to post Share on other sites
gelite3 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Even though you say that you want a relationship with no expectations, it sounds like you have some expectations. It sounds like you expect to be respected and on some level, you want this person to be fully committed to you, since you don't want him seeing other women. Perhaps, its time to first really ask yourself, what it is that you really want, and come clean to yourself. Once you are honest with yourself, then you would need to be honest with him. If the expectations, needs, and wants line-up that's great. If they don't, better to know now, rather than later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 You just have to tell him your expectations. I know there are those who say, if you are not exclusive, then you can date others. You need to define what you two have to make sure you both are on the same page. Give him a choice...he can keep seeing you and be exclusively "dating" each other, or he can go off and date others and you are out. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 Eight dates is how much time, exactly? You can ask, but it's up to him to decide if him investing in someone leaving the country for good in the foreseeable future is worth him acting exclusive when he's not exclusive with you. If he decides he's going to keep seeing other women, your choices are to deal with it or bounce. Expectations are future resentments under construction. Keep yours in check. Link to post Share on other sites
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